is suicide selfish?

[philia]

a few days ago, i talked to my only friend about my suicidal thoughts, at some point he said it was selfish to ctb because it would cause suffering to those who loved me. i don't think anyone loves me, but i do believe my sister, my mom and my friend would be sad. there are times the pain is so severe i physically harm myself in order to get some relief and i wonder if he understands how bad it is to tell me that i shouldn't stop it because of others.
i assume most people in here would say it is not selfish, however, i wanted to know what would make it that way (or not)?

 

[Someone123]

I don't think it is selfish when your pain is so bad that you will do anything to stop it, which is why people bctb is most cases, though there are other cases such as when they can see in the fture things will get worse for them. I think maybe people say this to try to get this peerson to hang on longer, hoping that things will get better, which happens in a small percentage of cases. Some people believe this because of the sadness that others feel over this, but that doesn't seem fair when a person is in so much pain thar they take this step.

 

[Fwompje]

No, people saying that insinuate that your loved ones' suffering must always be greater than your own. Them claiming it's selfish is actually the most selfish thing to say.

 

[stoopid]

Yes and no.

Taking care of your mental health is "selfish", taking care of your dental health is "selfish" because it focuses on your needs.

But do you know, preventing someone from suicide is selfish too, not only selfish but manipulative and evil also, maybe sadistic in few cases. Fk them all, it's about what you want and what you think is correct.

 

[Lavander 230]

Uhh suicide is irrelevant. First week everyone who knows you will cry etc. 1st month they'll still grief. 1 year later they'll get over it. 100 years later no one will remember your existence. 1 million years later? Planet won't exist probably. 1 billion years later? Uh.... what about a trillion years later? And those years keeps going and going.
Although time is infinite, you are only concerned about the events that only happen to 0,0000000001% on a time scale.

As a human you take things too seriously and you use your empathy to judge things because you have not much else to compare your situation to. But in universal scale, I'm sorry to break it down to you, but your death will be meaningless, just like anyone else's death. So is suicide selfish? That question is irrelevant after you read my post and get the idea.

 

[HopelessAngel]

No, I don't believe suicide is selfish.

There are uncomfortable realities most people don't want to acknowledge - there are pains too great to endure, there are burdens too heavy to overcome, there are illnesses that cannot be cured. Asking people, no, guilting people, to endure such realities is what I see as truly selfish. Everyone deserves the right to die.

 

[SarRy]

Going away is literally becoming self-less. It might seem that a lot of people who go choose to do so because they think they are a burden on the people around them. It might be considered selfish to demand someone live in misery because it makes you happier. Can it be selfish? Probably. Selfishness is all about intentions. Selfishness isn't about what is done, it is about why something is done.

 

[cogmachine]

it's usually a guilting tactic made by the selfish people themselves. they can't think of any other way to refute it because (in a lot of cases) their reason for you to not do it is they'll be sad that you left in such a way, alternatively the concept of someone ending their life is sad to them. after all, are we all not driven by our own personal desires and feelings? it feels hypocritical on their end to call it out in such a way.

 

[missingpeace]

I think people who say that sort of things are idiots, instead of asking how can they help you, they make the pain worse by putting you last on your own self care list and implying that other people's needs are more important than yours. I call bullshit on that, every person has the capacity to take care of themselves, yes they will grieve but at some point they will decide past is past and nothing can be done about it, they will eventually move on with their lives. Take care of yourself first, and don't talk to people who guilt you more.

 

[FuneralCry]

No matter what people say, nobody is obligated to continue existing, it's a completely personal decision when to leave this world and other people should have no right to interfere in this. The fact is that grief and loss are simply an inevitable part of existing, we all have to die and lose everything someday, so if people don't wish to deal with loss they shouldn't so selfishly and unfairly bring people into this world.

I think the whole "suicide is selfish" argument is used to guilt trip and shame suicidal people, so that they carry on suffering for the sake of others and it's absolutely disgusting and insensitive to treat suicidal people in such a way. Nobody should have to feel trapped in this hellish world against their wishes.

 

[StrangeAndDeath]

I would think yes, suicide is selfish. But selfish in the sense that it's focused on you. Like every other decision we make as humans. I'm not sure there are any truly selfless decisions. For example, if you saw someone suffering and you help them at your expense, you are still being selfish because you'd most likely have to deal with your conscience if you didn't. But I don't know.

Anyway, I consider birth to be a selfish decision on the part of parents too, and if a selfish decision would correct my problem (existence), I'm all for it. Besides, there's the added advantage of no more guilty conscience after death so you know, doesn't matter in the long run.

 

[ChiseHatori]

Uhh suicide is irrelevant. First week everyone who knows you will cry etc. 1st month they'll still grief. 1 year later they'll get over it. 100 years later no one will remember your existence. 1 million years later? Planet won't exist probably. 1 billion years later? Uh.... what about a trillion years later? And those years keeps going and going.
Although time is infinite, you are only concerned about the events that only happen to 0,0000000001% on a time scale.

As a human you take things too seriously and you use your empathy to judge things because you have not much else to compare your situation to. But in universal scale, I'm sorry to break it down to you, but your death will be meaningless, just like anyone else's death. So is suicide selfish? That question is irrelevant after you read my post and get the idea.

I just want to say, I half agree with you, but half disagree. Yes, in the grand scheme it is completely irrelevant. However, if anyone loves you, even a little, they will miss you, possibly their entire life. I lost my father to suicide and I miss him constantly, even though I basically grew up without him. With that being said, I do not think suicide is selfish. Your body, your choice, of course. However, it's best to consider your options before taking the dive. I'm sure that's been said a million and one times already, but my point just is that it's not 100% irrelevant like you say, at least not in the short term of one human lifespan. After that, though, sure.

 

[Murasa]

Our answer can be influenced from a cultural perspective regarding responsibilities, relationships and how improvable is each situation, it's something I think we should keep in mind. During WWII in some european countries and Japan it is known that there were mass suicides, either because they considered defeat more disgraceful than death or because many were afraid of possible reprisals and preferred to end their lives rather than suffer that. This thought may be due to deep-rooted traditions, the harshness of the living conditions in that situation or even propaganda (as was the case with nazi propaganda). But the actual act of dying transcends cultures and our very existence, so what should matter in deciding is what you really feel is right.

Suicide is selfish? Many times yes, but it's also selfish to force someone to continue their suffering just so you don't have to deal with the grief, and it's even more selfish to do it to a stranger just to feel good about yourself. By definition, prioritizing your own interests, pleasures, and benefits over those of others to the point of stripping them of all importance is what is known as "selfish." Creating bonds is the result of living in society, not the machinations of malicious people looking for how to screw other people's feelings by killing themselves, that's why many suicidal people tend to isolate themselves, gradually cutting ties while looking for ways to minimize the impact their death may have. Then is that more selfish than using someone as an emotional crutch? Suicide is complex, not itself but the causes that turn it as the only viable option for many, so it is selfish and even foolish to reduce all this to mental instability instead of trying to understand the reasons that led to suicide.

There are those who question which pain is more lasting and intense, but it is a rather delicate subject, mourning linked to emotions such as guilt is devastating, it destroys you as a person in a vulnerable period, throwing all your mistakes at your face. I've been through it afew times, It's something I don't wish on anyone and it's one of the many reasons suicidal people try not to let anyone they love take the blame for what happened.

 

[RW__Asher23]

If suicide is selfish then what is life but the epitome of that very thing. You do everything you can to survive and you do it for yourself and sure others also but 1st for YOU. No it isn't selfish to me but then again who am I to say? I think in some ways after you have done everything selfish to keep living maybe ctb is not so selfish. Just an alternative and way to find the Peace you couldn't in the selfish Life you were living.
But maybe too I am just spewing out my selfish thinking because I DO have a date in the future to ctb so ........ Anyway I hope you find the answers you are looking for. Wish you the best outcome no matter what you chose to do. I would be with you in your decision. Live or ctb or whatever. Peace.

 

[suicidoll]

It depends on perspective, I think. I personally see how it could be selfish and how it couldn't. On the one hand, it will inevitably cause someone somewhere suffering. Family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, the person who finds your body, and so on. However, it could be that the pain the person who CTBs must be experiencing is worse than the pain that their death would cause. One could even say that it'd be selfish of others to not want that person to die, as they want it so that they don't feel bad. In the end, does it really matter? Selfish or not, it's up to the individual to decide whether it's worth it.

 

[innominesatanas44]

Who cares if it is. Everything is selfish. Those people dont say those things because they are moral. They just want an excuse to feel superior to you.

 

[wanttodie]

I don't think it is selfish