Is sex a positive emotion or negative? How it feels like to see a person that you love and they are in a romantic relationship with somebody else?
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sserafim
they say itās darkest of all before the dawn
- Sep 13, 2023
- 8,131
I never had sex and have no desire to. In my view, it's the root of all suffering, it brings people here against their will. The logical thing to do to prevent suffering would be for humanity to stop having sex, but since so many of them are driven by this primal, carnal desire (still animals at the end of the day, right?), I doubt they would stop having it. Instead, they'll keep forcing more souls to be brought to this planet ((to: guess what: suffer and have be a slave to capitalism and society. To work for a living for ~50 years just to survive. To *earn* a living. (This implies that we don't have an inherent right to just simply exist, instead it needs to be *earned*. Why does life/a living need to be earned? No one chose to be here in the first place anyways.) To pay the various costs required of existence: bills, taxes, etc)). Life is just about survival once you think about it. Once you enter adulthood your whole life is about earning/making money just to be able to survive.
I guess that society and the capitalist machine are happy though. Yay! Another little cog to be indoctrinated into our system. Another little worker bee (wageslave)! Another human resource (person being exploited for their labor). I think that's why society pushes people to have children (it's the norm and most people conform to it). Having children and a family is even seen as a hallmark of success, it's part of society's success checklist. I guess society encourages people to have kids because capitalism relies on infinite growth so it needs to have more and more workers each year. It needs to have a steady supply of workers for the system. Without sufficient labor, the whole system would collapse. Capitalism and society is basically a pyramid scheme, new cohorts/crops/batches of workers have to enter the system each year. Every year a new class enters the workforce, and the (vicious) cycle repeats over and over again.
I guess that society and the capitalist machine are happy though. Yay! Another little cog to be indoctrinated into our system. Another little worker bee (wageslave)! Another human resource (person being exploited for their labor). I think that's why society pushes people to have children (it's the norm and most people conform to it). Having children and a family is even seen as a hallmark of success, it's part of society's success checklist. I guess society encourages people to have kids because capitalism relies on infinite growth so it needs to have more and more workers each year. It needs to have a steady supply of workers for the system. Without sufficient labor, the whole system would collapse. Capitalism and society is basically a pyramid scheme, new cohorts/crops/batches of workers have to enter the system each year. Every year a new class enters the workforce, and the (vicious) cycle repeats over and over again.
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kermudgeon
Exit Through the Gift Shop
- Feb 8, 2024
- 82
Seeing someone I love being in a romantic relationship with someone else would have killed me when I was younger, but now I'm polyamorous so it's definitely a positive thing. Because I love them then I want them to have good experiences, even if they aren't with me.
(Sorry if I misunderstood your question)
hikikomorizombie
Ouch
- Jan 15, 2024
- 771
having sex can be both positive & negative. overall i'd say it's positive, but i can only speak for myself ofc. as for ur 2nd question, idk bc i've never experienced it. when things end w some1 i completely erase them from my life, so i'd never even know they got a new girl.
EvisceratedJester
|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
- Oct 21, 2023
- 1,506
Sex isn't an emotion, it's an action. It's an activity. You can experience postive or negative emotions from sex itself, depending on context, but sex isn't an emotion...
I never have sex with anyone. I love a girl but she is in a romantic relationship with someone else. Its hurts me a lot.
If you haven't experienced it then I think you're lucky because one-sided love is quite hurtful.
piddincir
Student
- Nov 6, 2023
- 176
it depends on who you're having sex with.
I lost my viginity to the girl I thought I loved when I was very young. We had sex a few times but she wasn't into me as much as I was into her, it broke my heart,
I had a lot of meaningless sex after that, it was great at the time, but looking back that experience really had a negative impact on my life having known true love nothing compares to that, fucking is one things but making love is the best.
I lost my wife and true love recently and have just lost interest, I had opportunities and did once, it made me feel better for a bit but in the end would bmade me feel worse as it cant compare to an impossible standard. I was lucky and now I am in the void.
I lost my viginity to the girl I thought I loved when I was very young. We had sex a few times but she wasn't into me as much as I was into her, it broke my heart,
I had a lot of meaningless sex after that, it was great at the time, but looking back that experience really had a negative impact on my life having known true love nothing compares to that, fucking is one things but making love is the best.
I lost my wife and true love recently and have just lost interest, I had opportunities and did once, it made me feel better for a bit but in the end would bmade me feel worse as it cant compare to an impossible standard. I was lucky and now I am in the void.
R_N
-Memento Mori-
- Dec 3, 2019
- 1,407
This, but op might phrased it in a way they didn't mean to.
piddincir
Student
- Nov 6, 2023
- 176
UsagiDrop
āWhat a beautiful day to haunt the earth.ā
- Apr 27, 2023
- 299
I'm definitely in the minority of society but I'm also broken and have had mostly terrible experiences, so to me right now, sex could never be a positive thing. It is one of my most regrettable desires as a human being and personally I find it a depraved thing to do. I don't see it as something pure, sacred, fun, necessary or even an expression of love between two people. It's a ritual where two people are using each other's bodies for pleasure or to procreate, and as the person who has more to lose in that equation, the risks outweigh any positives. It's more trouble than it's worth. The fact that it's painful for others to see the people they love with another sexual partner is just a bad side effect of the human condition and the importance we've put on the act as a society. I'm sorry that anyone has to go through that, but it's how we're wired.
I don't think that people are bad for having or desiring sex, though. And I don't think they're wrong for having negative emotions based on one sided love. I experienced the same thing, but perhaps even worse, so this will probably never be positive to me. I hate even having to endure it sometimes.
I don't think that people are bad for having or desiring sex, though. And I don't think they're wrong for having negative emotions based on one sided love. I experienced the same thing, but perhaps even worse, so this will probably never be positive to me. I hate even having to endure it sometimes.
cryone
Student
- Nov 23, 2023
- 176
i think its positive to most people. n for me it sucks to see the person ive liked w/ another person. mainly coz they treat their new s/o in ways I could only wish for. other than that, it's of a reality check. everyone moves on, love is kinda superficial. also numbing.
cryone
Student
- Nov 23, 2023
- 176
it happened to me n he got with my friend. i rly just had to accept how it was. a bit shocking at first but then it moved to me feeling numb. i dont have another choice nor the right to interfere.
it was hard to accept tho, n to try to make it easier i talked to new guys. probably not ideal cause i still felt like shit. the best move is probably to engage in self love and find and reconnect w/ yourself somehow.
Shrike
My pain isn't yours to harvest.
- Feb 13, 2024
- 95
Sex dominates too much of how people feel and what they do. The relationship it creates between intense pleasure and reproduction is a truly toxic one. The effect it seems to have on groups of young men is terrifying. Not to mention how much insecurity and jealousy and other negative emotion is generated when something around it isn't quite right, which seems to be frighteningly common.
On a personal level, I'm kind of over it. It's nice, but I don't find it to be the end all be all and the drama around it is just way too much for me. Way too much expectation and way too much room for disappointment. As years go on I like people less and less and it's that much harder for me to bother.
Possessive language around relationships always made me feel weird, even though I'd say I'm generally monogamous. I don't really feel anything about people I used to date doing things. I mostly don't like hearing about other people having sex or doing intimate things, though, regardless of who they are. It feels like a private thing to me, nor is it interesting or unique, I don't want to hear about it.
On a personal level, I'm kind of over it. It's nice, but I don't find it to be the end all be all and the drama around it is just way too much for me. Way too much expectation and way too much room for disappointment. As years go on I like people less and less and it's that much harder for me to bother.
Possessive language around relationships always made me feel weird, even though I'd say I'm generally monogamous. I don't really feel anything about people I used to date doing things. I mostly don't like hearing about other people having sex or doing intimate things, though, regardless of who they are. It feels like a private thing to me, nor is it interesting or unique, I don't want to hear about it.
Slow_Farewell
Warlock
- Dec 19, 2023
- 710
Sex, if done correctly, is a good thing.
I think people just tend to romanticize it, to the point that love=sex when it fact it's not necessary.
Like @Shrike said, it's not an end all/be all kinda thing, and totally agree that there's a tone of drama associated with it if the circumstances just dont align properly.
If the person you love is in a romantic relationship with someone else AND you're NOT a couple, why would it bother you? Sex is a physical need. You may or may not address that need, but it's still there and pops up occasionally.
If you were a couple and you broke up, then people either go through the angry/depressed/hurt route, or you can try and go a different route.
Personally, i went with "if she's happy, then i'm happy for her, just sorry that I couldnt be the forever person she needed at the time she met me". She married someone else, and they have two kids now.
I think people just tend to romanticize it, to the point that love=sex when it fact it's not necessary.
Like @Shrike said, it's not an end all/be all kinda thing, and totally agree that there's a tone of drama associated with it if the circumstances just dont align properly.
If the person you love is in a romantic relationship with someone else AND you're NOT a couple, why would it bother you? Sex is a physical need. You may or may not address that need, but it's still there and pops up occasionally.
If you were a couple and you broke up, then people either go through the angry/depressed/hurt route, or you can try and go a different route.
Personally, i went with "if she's happy, then i'm happy for her, just sorry that I couldnt be the forever person she needed at the time she met me". She married someone else, and they have two kids now.
