Discussion is self loathing so wrong?

[halleyscomet]

i've been thinking about this question a lot recently

everytime that i have expressed how i feel, i've always been met with "stop feeling sorry for yourself", "get over it", "stop being so selfish".

but is that so wrong? is it so wrong to feel bad? why is it okay to feel, happy, angry, scared, but it's somehow wrong to mourn for your life?

i just don't understand it. is it so wrong to grieve over how bad things have gotten. i mean how else am i supposed to feel? why do our feelings have to revolve around making other people comfortable?

i feel like i'm missing something because i'm autistic and social etiquette is something i'm not very good at. but i just don't understand what is so wrong about feeling sorry for yourself.

in a world where people are selfish, and don't care about individuals unless it's convenient, who else is going to grieve for our lives except us?

is self loathing wrong?

 

[Dingusguy]

I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling sorry for oneself, but I think the main reason people are against it is because of the "You could do something to change it so you don't have to feel sorry for yourself" kind of mentality, but it's just not that easy. Never was that easy for me anyway so I think I get how you feel. So rest assured that at least one person is telling you it is okay to mourn yourself or feel sorry for yourself

 

[untothedepths]

Self-hatred cannot be selfish inherently because it stims from having either a hyper self-awareness or the intake of the treatment of those around you. Additionally, telling you to simply feel "stop sorry for yourself" is ignorant and irresponsible at best to a heinous and evil statement at worst. They are invaliding your pain. From your words, I think you are around insufferable fucks which unfortunately are in spades in society. "Whose had it worse" olympics only perpetuate the enabling of not assisting people with mental pain.

The reality is, self-hatred is just a symptom, but a really unbearable one. It's a sign that you are hurting so much to the point that you have turned the knives onto yourself. For me, its because I'm just accepting the treatment, and figure I might as well use it as a way to cope with my thoughts. Thoughts and feelings I didn't ask for, but have repeatedly been shoved down my throat.

 

[druggedonsurvival]

No, your feelings are not invalid. You feel what you feel and there is nothing wrong with that. Although you could consider it a problem if it's something you want to change.

People who tell us to "get over it" don't understand that we can't just get over it, depression puts us into this deep hole of darkness and despair that seems impossible to get out of. Moreover, grief is a normal response if you had a good life before and feel like you lost that. I think that's a very real kind of mourning - the loss of our better, happier selves.

 

[divinemistress36]

everybody goes through self loathing. Some people are just more vocal about it.

 

[vitbar]

I suppose most people don't like feeling bad and so want to fix it. Still you feel how you feel. There can be a difference between the act of feeling an emotion and everything else surrounding that. For me I tend to self-sabotage; I engage in behaviours that are likely to trigger negative emotions, and can lead me to spiral. These behaviours are wrong within the frame of my wellbeing being well. Some of it could be described as self-indulgant. Depression does that, it blinkers you to everything that doesn't serve the depression. I think this is where "stop feeling sorry for yourself" comes from, at least sometimes.