Is self harm bad?

[Lame-Loser324]

So I am addicted to self harm. I started experiencing depressive symptoms in 2nd grade and in 4th I had some of my first suicidal thoughts. Then in 5th grade all the pressure and anxiety had built up on me and I started cutting myself. The first time I got caught I had done it on the outside of my wrist instead of the inside. I remember being screamed at for it, and told I was selfish and I could've hidden it better. I stopped for a little while but in 6th grade and 7th grade I started again. It kept going on and on. I personally don't seem the problem with because I see it as "my body, my choice"

I have tried seeking help on my own measures but I am incapable doing so. My parents never cared to get me help even when I was actively telling them about my suicide attempts. Of course none of them were fatal as I was a dumbass 12 year old. But it still hurt me when they didn't care. Recently I got sent to the psych ward due to cutting after doctors saw. And earlier this week I attempted suicide by taking all the pills they had given me. I was bedridden for 4 days. My father was aware of this. He didn't get me help. He didn't bring me food. And the only time he brought me water was when I was cotton mouthed on my mattress barely being able to speak.

The failed attempt makes me want to self harm, but I'm being threatened to be sent to the psych ward for months on end. I've been to a psych ward twice in the past three years. The first time was kind of traumatic for me, however the second time wasn't too bad. Sorry for getting off topic. I kind of wanted to explain why I want to self harm again. And any methods on cbt would be nicely appreciated for future usage! Sorry again for getting off topic. I really just want to know if self harm is really that bad, because I find it somewhat enjoyable. Again sorry for making this so long and have a lovely day!

 

[LaVieEnRose]

It's probably ideal not to do it and use other coping strategies but I think it's only as bad as you feel it is (only talking about self-harm here). Other people's judgments on your scars have no bearing whether it is "bad" (though it could still be in your interest to stop doing it for pragmatic social reasons). If you don't truly want to do it but find yourself compelled to do it we could call it " bad". Other people will say that it's bad because it's disrespectful to your body but that's not something you have to buy into. If it's something that's threatening to send you to the psych wars it's probably worth it to try other strategies.

 

[LocalAngel]

In my book, anything that helps you live another day (when you WANT to) shouldn't be shunned- it should be seen for what it is. A coping skill. I'm not sure if i'd be alive without my own self destructive ones. For better or for worse, i suppose.

 

[Shadowlord900]

If you eventually want to CTB, it's best to try to hold back certain kinds of self-harm urges if you can. Anything that includes both external and internal physical damage to your body can make it more difficult to make CTB attempts in future depending on the severity.

How much privacy do you get to yourself? If very little, CTBing is gonna be impossible, you'll just have to wait for a couple/few years until hopefully whoever's looking after you loosens the leash some. If you get a lot of privacy to yourself, there's quite a few options available, even more so if you have money, can order things online and are lucky enough to not reside in a country with strict customs.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't really believe that self harm is bad, I just believe it to be a personal decision whether to do such a thing or not and I understand that for many people it makes existing more bearable. Psych wards really do sound horrific though, I don't think that overdosing on pills is really recommended if one wishes to actually ctb.