Obviously, we are going to have short comings compared to a medical professional seeing as they at least ought to be more well versed in varying conditions and, how they manifest. That's assuming you have faith that they always get it right! The whole thing seems rather woolly to me.
But, I want to consider this from two perspectives. The possible advantages/ damages of diagnosing ourselves and when we tend to suspect conditions in other people. I'm not encouaging self diagnosis or diagnosis of others here. It's more something I've observed.
I understand on the one hand, those with real diagnoses feeling frustrated that now, so many people suspect themselves to have this or that. Of course, that's presumably how it starts for all of us though. Something doesn't feel quite right. We may try to figure out what it is ourselves and, we might see a doctor. But, I can definitely understand the frustration of someone severely struggling being surrounded by others who insist they must have the same thing when, they likely don't. At least, not to the same severity.
I wonder if it can be a self fulfilling prophecy sometimes. If we convince ourselves we have this or that and that that means we will struggle in certain situations- will that amplify our anxiety in those situations? There's the obvious concern that we may have diagnosed ourselves wrongly all together.
I think self diagnosis can also help though. Three things I realised I struggled with- social anxiety, limerence and borderline eating disorders meant I could be more self aware and try to address those problems. Some more effectively than others! So- it's been a positive experience for me- identifying things like limerence. Perhaps it was still a misleading self- diagnosis but, it ended up sparing me a lot more suffering.
The other situation is when we find ourselves diagnosing others. In particular, I want to focus on narcissism here because, it relates to my own experience.
I do understand why people with diagnosed NPD get upset when the term is banded about. Plus, villified. It can't be enjoyable to have a condition you didn't exactly choose to have more or less satanized.
However, personally speaking. While it could never likely be an official diagnosis, a person in my childhood who caused my ideation to begin with, I do believe to be a narcissist. So much of their behaviour fits the description. The bullying was of a very specific sort. Things like: gas lighting, playing the victim, triangulation, huge self promotion and simultaneous belittling of others.
It actually did so much for me in terms of validation to learn about narcissicism. It's like- all their truly baffling behaviour had some kind of reason. I truly was so terrified and confused at the time that I used to wonder whether I was the crazy one. Maybe I'd slept walked and done all these things they were accusing me of.
But it helped- somewhat in trying to come to terms with it. I think that- in large part is why we do try to diagnose others- it becomes a feasible reason for the way they are acting as they are. So, while it may not be accurate and while it's unkind to outright villify it, I think it can help us both heal but also, avoid future entanglements.
If we know we struggle in relationships with people with certain conditions, we can remain couteously distant from those in future who present red flags. Really- why shouldn't people who have been deeply screwed up by others avoid future people who seem to be similar? Why should they risk their own wellness? That's not to condone being nasty or rude but, we can politely keep them at a distance.
I briefly also want to say that, while it is unfortunate, it's kind of inevitable that people who's lives have been dramatically and negatively affected by an observed (guessed at disorder) will likely have some prejudice against it. It's not that we should judge all people with it to be the same but- I think for self protection, there's bound to be wariness.
The main point though, that I've taken ages to get around to is: Mental illness and personality disorders seem mostly to be diagnosed by a set of symptoms or behaviours a person is exhibiting.
Do our doctors know us better than ourselves or, those around us most of the time? Surely, they have 15-20 minutes maybe to observe the person, ask a few questions. Do we exhibit our honest entire character around our doctor? I'm imagining not. So- who is the more reliable observer of our own and other people we are around's behaviour? Surely- we are.
Of course, for the interpretation and diagnosis bit, the doctor ought to have more knowledge and skill. Still- it could surely be very possible that we are right- in the diagnosis of ourselves and others.
I suppose this is in some way, a rant. As in- Don't call that person a narcissist unless they have been officially diagnosed. I kind of get it. Better to say (suspected) narcissist for a start. But still- how will they be diagnosed? By analysing their behaviour- presumably in some part. Their behaviour may match on multiple levels to the description of narcissistic behaviour. So- isn't it reasonable to at least wonder?
Honestly, I'm also curious as to how narcissism is actually arrived at. I doubt many people actually want to be told they are a narcissist. I know we likely all have narcissistic traits but for them to be so prevalent, it's considered a disorder may not be what anyone wants to hear.
I'm actually truthfully curious. Would they even reveal some of the things they find themselves doing? That they find themselves lying to or about other people? Who wants to admit that? Do they even fully realise it themselves or, do they believe their own lies to such an extent, they are oblivious? I find it curious.
Also, in fairness, I know there are some members here who have identified that they suffer with NPD. Some that are highly conscious of monitoring themselves. I'm not meaning to downplay people like that. I actually think that must be so difficult. Plus, I'm not trying to blame here. I do realise that everyone suffers here. It's meant more as a representation of the other side and how (possible) victims may try to cope. (By trying to fathom out their bullies behaviour and reaching a diagnosis.)
But, I want to consider this from two perspectives. The possible advantages/ damages of diagnosing ourselves and when we tend to suspect conditions in other people. I'm not encouaging self diagnosis or diagnosis of others here. It's more something I've observed.
I understand on the one hand, those with real diagnoses feeling frustrated that now, so many people suspect themselves to have this or that. Of course, that's presumably how it starts for all of us though. Something doesn't feel quite right. We may try to figure out what it is ourselves and, we might see a doctor. But, I can definitely understand the frustration of someone severely struggling being surrounded by others who insist they must have the same thing when, they likely don't. At least, not to the same severity.
I wonder if it can be a self fulfilling prophecy sometimes. If we convince ourselves we have this or that and that that means we will struggle in certain situations- will that amplify our anxiety in those situations? There's the obvious concern that we may have diagnosed ourselves wrongly all together.
I think self diagnosis can also help though. Three things I realised I struggled with- social anxiety, limerence and borderline eating disorders meant I could be more self aware and try to address those problems. Some more effectively than others! So- it's been a positive experience for me- identifying things like limerence. Perhaps it was still a misleading self- diagnosis but, it ended up sparing me a lot more suffering.
The other situation is when we find ourselves diagnosing others. In particular, I want to focus on narcissism here because, it relates to my own experience.
I do understand why people with diagnosed NPD get upset when the term is banded about. Plus, villified. It can't be enjoyable to have a condition you didn't exactly choose to have more or less satanized.
However, personally speaking. While it could never likely be an official diagnosis, a person in my childhood who caused my ideation to begin with, I do believe to be a narcissist. So much of their behaviour fits the description. The bullying was of a very specific sort. Things like: gas lighting, playing the victim, triangulation, huge self promotion and simultaneous belittling of others.
It actually did so much for me in terms of validation to learn about narcissicism. It's like- all their truly baffling behaviour had some kind of reason. I truly was so terrified and confused at the time that I used to wonder whether I was the crazy one. Maybe I'd slept walked and done all these things they were accusing me of.
But it helped- somewhat in trying to come to terms with it. I think that- in large part is why we do try to diagnose others- it becomes a feasible reason for the way they are acting as they are. So, while it may not be accurate and while it's unkind to outright villify it, I think it can help us both heal but also, avoid future entanglements.
If we know we struggle in relationships with people with certain conditions, we can remain couteously distant from those in future who present red flags. Really- why shouldn't people who have been deeply screwed up by others avoid future people who seem to be similar? Why should they risk their own wellness? That's not to condone being nasty or rude but, we can politely keep them at a distance.
I briefly also want to say that, while it is unfortunate, it's kind of inevitable that people who's lives have been dramatically and negatively affected by an observed (guessed at disorder) will likely have some prejudice against it. It's not that we should judge all people with it to be the same but- I think for self protection, there's bound to be wariness.
The main point though, that I've taken ages to get around to is: Mental illness and personality disorders seem mostly to be diagnosed by a set of symptoms or behaviours a person is exhibiting.
Do our doctors know us better than ourselves or, those around us most of the time? Surely, they have 15-20 minutes maybe to observe the person, ask a few questions. Do we exhibit our honest entire character around our doctor? I'm imagining not. So- who is the more reliable observer of our own and other people we are around's behaviour? Surely- we are.
Of course, for the interpretation and diagnosis bit, the doctor ought to have more knowledge and skill. Still- it could surely be very possible that we are right- in the diagnosis of ourselves and others.
I suppose this is in some way, a rant. As in- Don't call that person a narcissist unless they have been officially diagnosed. I kind of get it. Better to say (suspected) narcissist for a start. But still- how will they be diagnosed? By analysing their behaviour- presumably in some part. Their behaviour may match on multiple levels to the description of narcissistic behaviour. So- isn't it reasonable to at least wonder?
Honestly, I'm also curious as to how narcissism is actually arrived at. I doubt many people actually want to be told they are a narcissist. I know we likely all have narcissistic traits but for them to be so prevalent, it's considered a disorder may not be what anyone wants to hear.
I'm actually truthfully curious. Would they even reveal some of the things they find themselves doing? That they find themselves lying to or about other people? Who wants to admit that? Do they even fully realise it themselves or, do they believe their own lies to such an extent, they are oblivious? I find it curious.
Also, in fairness, I know there are some members here who have identified that they suffer with NPD. Some that are highly conscious of monitoring themselves. I'm not meaning to downplay people like that. I actually think that must be so difficult. Plus, I'm not trying to blame here. I do realise that everyone suffers here. It's meant more as a representation of the other side and how (possible) victims may try to cope. (By trying to fathom out their bullies behaviour and reaching a diagnosis.)
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