is relying on someone for everything a bad idea?

[404]

i absolutely can't live on my own no matter what. i always need reassurance from someone or else i start to despise myself for everything...

even if i spent a whole year trying to fix myself nothing will improve not one bit

people say it's a horrible idea but is that really the case

they don't want suicidal people to kill themselves but they barely do anything to help them...

i feel absolutely hopeless i thought things will get better but no

 

[AshH]

Generally yes, you don't wanna put your eggs in the same basket because you don't know what can happen. One day they can maybe be fed up and show you explicitly or not how much of a burden you are. I learned it the hard way.
Having full independence brings so much flexibility, but it's hard to achieve in this economy.

 

[dimstar]

Yes. It's a fix but when u get dropped gonna be in an even harder position.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

This is me. 100% dependent on someone else for my mood, validation and general well being. Guess what? They all try to help and encourage at the beginning, but in the end they have all given up on me. This always leads to using suicide as a manipulation to try to get them to stay. It never works and they leave any way and I remain suicidal.

 

[Foreverix]

This is just my opinion. Relying on one person other than yourself for resources and/or care is a tight rope walk at best. Most social relationships are transactional and, in the long run, mutually beneficial. Unless a parent is willing to support you, most people will not sustain a relationship like this unless you are providing something to them that makes it worthwhile. In some countries the government will support you, but not without jumping through an exhausting number of hoops and proving just how ill you are.

Asking for help and support is always OK in my book. But saddling one person with the responsibility of keeping you housed and fed can be a heavy burden. If their needs are not met, they will likely resent taking care of you and the relationship will deteriorate.

 

[nothingboy]

yes it is, but i understand it's hard to break the cycle. eventually i was abandoned by my person and it is still the worst pain i have ever experienced and is part of the reason i'm planning to ctb. independence is very important. please try to develop a personality outside of someone else. personally i am too far gone for that to happen, but i believe it is possible for you

 

[exiled]

I wouldn't classify it in terms of a good or bad idea. It more so is concerning because often times putting all of your hope in someone leads to disappointment. People are not perfect and will fail/let you down. Worse, those people we think have our back no matter what can sometimes just leave without explanation. And then what?

I think it is important to expand your support network to a large group. When you have multiple avenues of help, you can lean on different people throughout different seasons. Ultimately, taking that support you get from your friends/others should be applied to you by yourself *AS WELL. Not by itself, but in addition! We weren't meant to go through this life alone; we need people. But we should also be striving to be our own place of reassurance too.

Rely on people. Depend on them. It's okay. Especially if that is what you need right now. But consider what I said. More the merrier.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

This is just my opinion. Relying on one person other than yourself for resources and/or care is a tight rope walk at best. Most social relationships are transactional and, in the long run, mutually beneficial. Unless a parent is willing to support you, most people will not sustain a relationship like this unless you are providing something to them that makes it worthwhile. In some countries the government will support you, but not without jumping through an exhausting number of hoops and proving just how ill you are.

Asking for help and support is always OK in my book. But saddling one person with the responsibility of keeping you housed and fed can be a heavy burden. If their needs are not met, they will likely resent taking care of you and the relationship will deteriorate.

Amen. I can't even fathom the burden that I have put on my relationship partners. Then when they leave I am genuinely shocked. Even though I clearly drove them away by not providing any mutual benefit. I suck and will continue to suck as a partner. I can't be fixed. This is why I must now be the one to end the relationship. End the relationship of me with life.