Is one special person enough to not make you feel lonely?

[rozeske]

Throughout most of my life I've never really been loved, never really been cared for, never had a significant friendship that lasted long. Not as a child, not as an adult. I've always felt alone. But I've had this one special person in my life for many years now, not a partner, but everything a person could look for in a person. A person that means the world to me and a person that was the reason that i made it this far. Someone my suicide would truly break. But even though I have that, I still couldn't manage to stop my self from feeling lonely and from hurting, from craving more. Sometimes I feel so lonely and so sad about having lived all those years and only having a single person that truly cares. Other times I feel so guilty for not finding that to be enough. Like I'm being ungrateful. Especially when I think about how this would make them feel and how not being enough would break them, it just makes me hate myself.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

For me, yes, absolutely. Unfortunately I'm not sure this special person actually exists for me because admittedly I make it very difficult for anyone to actually be this kind of person.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Possibly, if they reciprocate your feelings or you don't put the squeeze on them to where they feel pressured by you. Knowing they're you're only one can also make them run. It's probably not super safe or smart to put all your eggs in one basket, but God knows I've done it often enough.

 

[rozeske]

admittedly I make it very difficult for anyone to actually be this kind of person.

I do too. I honestly don't know how that person managed to. Which makes it all the more reason to feel guilty and hate myself.

 

[Blue Elephant]

Throughout most of my life I've never really been loved, never really been cared for, never had a significant friendship that lasted long. Not as a child, not as an adult. I've always felt alone. But I've had this one special person in my life for many years now, not a partner, but everything a person could look for in a person. A person that means the world to me and a person that was the reason that i made it this far.

I know how you feel. Once, for a time I had one special person too. She was my world and everything else paled in comparison. This hell that we live in made me sad and/or angry sometimes but her presence made everything better. She was more then enough.

Sometimes I feel so lonely and so sad about having lived all those years and only having a single person that truly cares.

You chose carefully, you picked one good person instead of many bad ones. Don't feel bad for being thoughtful! It was the right thing to do.

Other times I feel so guilty for not finding that to be enough. Like I'm being ungrateful. Especially when I think about how this would make them feel and how not being enough would break them, it just makes me hate myself.

It is what it is. Sometimes we are cold even though the sun shines bright, sometimes we are still hungry even though we just ate. We are complex creatures and Enough is different for each of us, just because it is for others, it doesn't have to be for you as well. Don't hate yourself!

 

[rozeske]

I know how you feel. Once, for a time I had one special person too. She was my world and everything else paled in comparison. This hell that we live in made me sad and/or angry sometimes but her presence made everything better. She was more then enough.


You chose carefully, you picked one good person instead of many bad ones. Don't feel bad for being thoughtful! It was the right thing to do.


It is what it is. Sometimes we are cold even though the sun shines bright, sometimes we are still hungry even though we just ate. We are complex creatures and Enough is different for each of us, just because it is for others, it doesn't have to be for you as well. Don't hate yourself!

You absolutely get it! Thank you for your kind words <3 deep down I know you are right.

 

[day]

truthfully i doubt just one person could give me everything i need. not speaking about partners or relationships at all just like a human who is there for me and cares.

i almost feel multiple are needed and that's kind of why i've stacked friend groups. no matter what time of day or holiday i almost always have somewhere to go. constant stimulation i suppose. sadly now im scared to let people in so once my groups slowly disperse its a high chance i'll be thrown back into loneliness.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

Absolutely. One person that matches you perfectly is all you need. But usually people have more than one person, so if they have more than one that's where a problem can start. They split their time between 5 people, but you only split your time with them? You'll feel neglected and lonely eventually since the emotional investment is not the same.

 

[kyhoti]

Not for me. One "special person" won't do it, because in my experience, everyone (every fucking one) will fail to meet my needs. I'm a leech, a pestilence, and as much as I know that I NEED others, I don't wish myself upon anyone. I have left a path of hurt and chaos, even when I tried not to. At least you're trying, so good on you mate.

 

[abchia]

Yes for me. But unfortunately I we will never be together in person and as time goes on they're slowly becoming less relevant

 

[winamp]

absolutely not

no one can be trusted and I would rather not have my time wasted or waste others time or have my plans delayed

 

[Cinnamorolls]

For me, I believe it would be enough. But that person would have to not be abusive, and given my track record so far in life, it is 100% impossible for me to attract a non-abusive person.

 

[pyx]

maybe. i cant even comprehend sharing that intimacy with another person, though. it feels alien to me. i was made to exist in isolation.

 

[Pluto]

 

[EternalShore]

Absolutely. One person that matches you perfectly is all you need. But usually people have more than one person, so if they have more than one that's where a problem can start. They split their time between 5 people, but you only split your time with them? You'll feel neglected and lonely eventually since the emotional investment is not the same.

yeah... I'm kinda sad he doesn't really have anyone else other than me for that very reason~ Teehee~ if he did, I would miss him tons when he's gone~ :((( really, he's what keeps from doing it at all~ xD That's also why polyamory and polygamy just don't make sense to me~ Why the heck would someone willingly split their time between multiple people instead of just one? >_<

 

[DeIetedUser4739]

No

 

[eatantz]

For me, one person who loves me genuinely would change my life. My ex-best friend made my life feel worth it again, but unfortunately I have all the traits of bpd and it makes keeping relationships impossible

 

[rednights]

I do have someone, and they make me feel much better than I did when they weren't around. I relate, though, that even with them in my life I still sometimes feel isolated. Since, I don't usually have many others than them.

I think having that one person does a lot but if you're alone otherwise it makes sense that loneliness would still affect you. We tend to have such needs as humans, sadly.

 

[Rocinante]

Once I find that person I will let you know

 

[Saturn_]

I would be a burden on him either way.

 

[jar-baby]

I wouldn't know. I would think so. Though I don't know how to find that person or if they even exist.

 

[archiveofpain]

Yeah, due to feeling replaceable for me just having a person where I'm the first choice for them would be enough even though my expectations are probably unrealistic and not possible

 

[KillingPain267]

Yes, and that person left me, so I am back to the loneliness I experienced before except now without hope. That was the final straw for me and why I'm now here.

 

[BlendedHeart]

I wish I had ONE person. Just one. But at this point I know I won't get it.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

Why the heck would someone willingly split their time between multiple people instead of just one? >_<

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket."

 

[yellowjester]

I would walk through burning coals to find that one special person.

 

[derpyderpins]

One person can accomplish a lot, but I think most people will typically need more than one person in their life. Different connections give you different benefits. Different people can fit different moods and more appropriate for certain subjects. It's nice to have a primary romantic partner and then supplemental friends to fill in the cracks.

It's a lot of pressure to dump on one person expecting them to be everything for you.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

For me it is. I always did better when I had someone, though it never lasted long

 

[rozeske]

Here I was upset about only having one person that cares, others only dream of having even just one person. We are basically reduced to ones or zeros. What an unfair sad sad world we live in.

 

[innominesatanas44]

To me it's more ideal to have multiple people who you are not completely close with but who are stable and independent to satisfy your social needs than one person who is 'special'. Those special types of people always leave or die in my experience