Is my suicide selfish?

[tobby rabbit]

I feel like it is. Suddenly, I live with my mother, because I can't afford my own apartment, even though I'm working.

If i die drinking SN (when I order one) she will find me breathless in my room. She's been through some shit with my father when me and my sister where kids, that has differently left her mentaly unstable and after all that recovery from all those abusive years my death might hit her hard.

I can just try to convince myself that nobody loves me, but that is probably egoistic as well. Even though I'm not loved I'm still "useful"... Maybe.

I'm trying to get rid of this damn feeling. Besides, I'm probably more problematic living here. I don't know why I can't even ctb without harming someone.

 

[saddestbunny]

an action directed at yourself hurting someone else is not inherently selfish

I don't know the specifics of your situation but only you can decide what to do with your life. wanting your suffering to end is not a selfish want

 

[FuneralCry]

The way that I see it none of us are obligated to continue existing here, it would be so cruel expecting someone to stay here and suffer against their wishes, we all have our right to die and it's a personal decision deciding when to leave.

 

[ever so lonely]

no, i believe we each tread our own path, only person who can make the choice is you op, i would rather you stay here with us a little longer but ultimately the decision is yours and yours alone my friend, what brought you to this point ? hugs, i care about you and i am sure the wider community does too, you have a friend in me whenever you need a ear hole to vent to

 

[tobby rabbit]

no, i believe we each tread our own path, only person who can make the choice is you op, i would rather you stay here with us a little longer but ultimately the decision is yours and yours alone my friend, what brought you to this point ? hugs, i care about you and i am sure the wider community does too, you have a friend in me whenever you need a ear hole to vent to

Thank you so much, it really means a lot to me to feel like someone is listening my thoughts.

At this point I don't even know what is my problem, I feel like things are getting better as the time goes but the depression I gained while being a kid won't let me live normally, I feel like shit just because reasons and harming my close ones by that.
Suicide thoughts is a daily part of my life now, they really became my ideology.

Also I'm opened too if you need some support (if can provide some) or just person that would be truly interested in anything you say
Hugs

 

[MrDarkness]

I'm in the same boat, no matter what, death will always cause pain, we can't avoid it sadly. I just wish my mom won't be sad when I die

 

[Unattainable666]

I don't believe suicide is selfish. I believe it is a very brave act due to immense depression, sadness, tears, overwhelming anxiety whatever. I don't know what is going on in your life that has brought you to considering ctb. But I will tell you that i know you are in a great deal of pain and you want that pain to stop. I get it.

 

[h4yate]

imo suicide isnt selfish. how other people feel shouldnt matter when youre going on your own path - especially a path thatll free you from all the suffering you feel.

 

[LifeisDark]

Suicide in and of itself is never a selfish act; no more than anything else about one's own body and well-being is selfish. Causing pain to others is never great, but avoiding something that can ease your pain because it might hurt someone else doesn't mean that is always the best choice. We all have a right to choose when we leave this Earth, for some of us, that's sooner than others. Whatever you choose, it should always boil down to what will help you the most. Best of luck mate, I wish you the best.