is it wrong to still be upset that an ex best friend is still continuing to associate with my SA’er

[mittymittens]

basically i've told an ex best friend who i've tried reconnecting with due to me cutting him off when i was going through a rough patch, (trio between me and him and my SA'er who was also my best friend) and tried reconnecting after said rough patch which was 2 months after cutting him off (i'm not sure if 2 months was too early so do lmk if you think it was)

i've told him why i sorta cut him off after struggling trying to communicate with him because i still had awful anxiety talking to him because me reaching out was another impulsive thing

i then tell him a warning about our ex best friend (who was in the trio with us) that she SA'ed me and i remember he seemed shocked by his facial expression and after asking him if noncon kissing was considered SA because i was unsure at the time, he confirmed that it was.

we decided to continue our conversation after the weekend and it felt like things were going good because this one took place on a friday and we ran out of time and had to go back to classes, but during the weekend he tells me he didn't really want to follow up on that conversation which at the time i felt relieved also about because i was having terrible anxiety on the weekend the thought of speaking to him again.

but i guess it comes all spiraling down when i see him a week or two later laughing w my SA'er and then a month later seeing them in the same friend circle. i don't get it and it still makes me deeply upset which i also don't get in a way because he's not my friend anymore so i feel like i shouldn't really care

 

[snoot]

You've got every right to be upset even if he's not your friend anymore. It's very telling how so many people stay friendly with SA'ers, abusers, bullies etc. I've had similar experiences and it's just taught me that a lot of people don't actually care when it's not something directly affecting them.
I'm sorry, you don't deserve any of that.

 

[gardenfairy]

yeah you have every right to be upset about this. even if you aren't in much contact with your old friend anymore, i'm assuming that you once trusted and loved him so it's definitely normal to feel betrayed and/or upset by his actions. not to mention that someone who SAs another person doesn't deserve a friend in their corner whatsoever. i truly hope you're able to heal from this, it's a horrible thing to go through and you don't deserve it at all. sending u hugs <3

 

[AgentOrange]

Yeah fuck that wtf. You have every right.

 

[soolka]

you have every right to be upset, really weird to be friends with a scumbag like that

 

[avaruus]

No, it's not wrong to be upset.

 

[lefi]

You have every right to be upset, fuck everyone else who tells you otherwise!

 

[gonnaregretthis]

thats so fucked up especially since its your friend who confirmed it was SA. so they know its wrong. im sorry this happened to you