Is it worth ctbing due to loneliness

[QueSeraSera]

I have clinical depression too. Stress over relationships has triggered an episode more times than I can count.

My having Borderline Personality Disorder makes relationships DIFFICULT for me. My abandonment issues are ridiculous. Thanks Mom!

 

[QueSeraSera]

ever try roofying your self

Explain?

 

[Iscrewupeverything]

Just do it. Things are clearly never going to get better for you.

 

[QueSeraSera]

The trick is not relying on anyone to make you happy. You have to make yourself happy. A relationship should just complement your life.

An ex gf of mine relied on me for her happiness and hated me being happy for any other reason than her. It was suffocating! So yes, people do run away from that.

Not gonna lie: I am THAT girl. BPD life.

But I have also been on the opposite end of the spectrum where I was the one who ran.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

Explain?

go to a rave takes madma

 

[QueSeraSera]

go to a rave takes madma

I would love to go...never been to a rave!

Glow sticks and music....

 

[Final Escape]

I'm 26 and lonely. I've never had a partner before and am a virgin. Sometimes I feel this immense need to be with, bond, and love someone and be loved back by them. It's this sorta indescribable feeling. It just hurts. I feel like my life is not worth living if I'm not with someone. The misery gets too much to handle sometimes and I feel extremely suicidal. I'd rather die now than continue this suffering till, say, the age of 40.

The prospects of me getting a partner are nonexistent. I'm ugly. I have tried several times before, the latest bring yesterday, and have always failed. The fact that I'll never be able to experience young love saddens me. I've lost on so many experiences, feelings, good times being stuck on problems of physics and engineering. I feel like my life is ruined.


The constant thoughts of me being lonely and dying without ever experiencing love or intimacy have turned me somewhat depressive. There's come up this general dissatisfaction with living. I find nothing interesting. I haven't been to work for days. The thoughts of suicide occupy my mind for a good part of the day.

I just wanted your opinions if it's a sane or wise decision to end one's life simply because they were too lonely to live.

I'm not sure if u should go yet but I can understand how depressing this situation is. I never had this problem but still failed at relationships. I almost think find a sex worker at least to experience sex. You might be paying for it but at least you will get to experience it. Don't die a virgin lol! That's so sad.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

I would love to go...never been to a rave!

Glow sticks and music....

dont forget the fog , great for getting raped in

 

[medusa]

I'm 26 and lonely. I've never had a partner before and am a virgin. Sometimes I feel this immense need to be with, bond, and love someone and be loved back by them. It's this sorta indescribable feeling. It just hurts. I feel like my life is not worth living if I'm not with someone. The misery gets too much to handle sometimes and I feel extremely suicidal. I'd rather die now than continue this suffering till, say, the age of 40.

The prospects of me getting a partner are nonexistent. I'm ugly. I have tried several times before, the latest bring yesterday, and have always failed. The fact that I'll never be able to experience young love saddens me. I've lost on so many experiences, feelings, good times being stuck on problems of physics and engineering. I feel like my life is ruined.


The constant thoughts of me being lonely and dying without ever experiencing love or intimacy have turned me somewhat depressive. There's come up this general dissatisfaction with living. I find nothing interesting. I haven't been to work for days. The thoughts of suicide occupy my mind for a good part of the day.

I just wanted your opinions if it's a sane or wise decision to end one's life simply because they were too lonely to live.

from a person who is ugly and in a relationship: it is all very overrated!!! I love my BF but I honestly was as happy as a single person as I am with him now. Other people are overrated too. You can always kill yourself later if you find no one-I know lots of people who are still virgins at your age. It's normal and there is nothing wrong with it.

 

[QueSeraSera]

dont forget the fog , great for getting raped in

You lost me on the rape part...

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

You lost me on the rape part...

good

 

[QueSeraSera]

good

Ahhhhh you're "one of those". Lol.

Were you physically abused?

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

Ahhhhh you're "one of those". Lol.

Were you physically abused?

most of my youth

 

[weedoge]

Only an individual can decide whether it's their time to leave, I think. If you don't feel ready, or more specifically if you're unsure about your readiness, I'd suggest a very very very long look inside yourself. The only way I can accept my decision is to analyse my thoughts, my future, use my past experience to make a prediction of how my life may look 5 or 10 years from now. If you are going to continue to be miserable, if you believe there's no way out of this pit for numerous irresolvable reasons, then you may find it easier to make the decision.

Good luck, OP ♥

 

[QueSeraSera]

most of my youth

I knew it. I'm sorry my love. Are you now taking it out on yourself?

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

I knew it. I'm sorry my love. Are you now taking it out on yourself?

lots of pro help ty

 

[Wantingpeace]

Being lonely Is horrible and had experienced it myself. But if there was a chance of improvement I would try. I remember that I used to be alone also but not feel lonely have interests, go on trips, youth hostelling. I was always the single friend ☺

After brain damage from a rare drug reaction is like I'm lobotomised and totally unable to live in any sort of way. The terror is indescribable as havent felt like the world around me or family or anyone anything is even existing for three year now. If this would reverse I would feel I had a second chance at life. But i feel I'm pushed to death while I do not want to.

I cant tell you what to do. I just think if there is a chance of change would take it.

I'm not drunk ☺but I think people are so interesting and beautiful no matter on looks.

Much peace to you whatever you decide.

 

[QueSeraSera]

Being lonely Is horrible and had experienced it myself. But if there was a chance of improvement I would try. I remember that I used to be alone also but not feel lonely have interests, go on trips, youth hostelling. I was always the single friend ☺

After brain damage from a rare drug reaction is like I'm lobotomised and totally unable to live in any sort of way. The terror is indescribable as havent felt like the world around me or family or anyone anything is even existing for three year now. If this would reverse I would feel I had a second chance at life. But i feel I'm pushed to death while I do not want to.

I cant tell you what to do. I just think if there is a chance of change would take it.

I'm not drunk ☺but I think people are so interesting and beautiful no matter on looks.

Much peace to you whatever you decide.

Can you describe how it feels to be you?

 

[CentreMid]

To me, if a person has the desire to ctb, then I wholeheartedly respect their decision. The reasons shouldn't matter. Take the people here for example. We all have different issues, but we're all in the same boat, aren't we? Trying to find a way to end it all

 

[Wantingpeace]

Can you describe how it feels to be you?

how do you mean ? As in my sense of self? I feel like the part of brain that was sense of self doesn't work. It is total empty vaccum three years now with no sense of any existence around me. I only know life is here logically. Only see family because I know from memory they exist. Something really weird is happening at front of brain feels a total vaccum in there. Isn't many livable minutes ontop I have this feeling that something is being continually drained out of brain causing somethjng like suicidal depression times million along with feeling like i have acid burning head. I know this sound unbelievable..but i could possibly live with other stuff if my whole self felt like it hadn't left. My brain cannot connect there is anything to be interested in. One day I was making jewellery pottery etc the next day after drug we like no sense there is anything to be interested in. Only resson still alive is th a hellish drug gave me constant terror of death.

 

[Wantingpeace]

To me, if a person has the desire to ctb, then I wholeheartedly respect their decision. The reasons shouldn't matter. Take the people here for example. We all have different issues, but we're all in the same boat, aren't we? Trying to find a way to end it all

Yes but this person is asking what they think of their situation and what they would do..

 

[Samuel]

Being too lonely worth ctb? No!
Being too ugly worth ctb? Yes!

 

[TengoK]

I am clinically lonely. 47 years of age, physically disabled, have Aspergers Syndrome and now agoraphobia. Marvellous, um, If I make it to February next year, which I very much doubt, it will be two years since I've seen anyone beyond meter readers, grocery delivery people and the caretaker of my block. There are lots of reasons I want to CTB, but oddly loneliness isn't one of them. This loneliness is something I want to kick down the stairs and away from me. I don't want to let it beat me, even if disability, depression, mental health, an abusive childhood and all those things do.

Whether I'll succeed in that or not, though, is another matter...

 

[Ashpac]

Being too lonely worth ctb? No!
Being too ugly worth ctb? Yes!

Thats a matter of perspective.
Im sure many people who dont feel attractive still want to live. However if someone feels ugly and wants to CTB thats fine too.
If someone has been lonely for a long time and its not going to change at all, i would say that person has a right to CTB.

 

[Regisphilbin_savant]

I would love to go...never been to a rave!
I'm
Glow sticks and music....

I'm good with that ,if someone dares to do the lighter thing there will be a mass riot caused by me

 

[Tiburcio]

Thats a matter of perspective.
Im sure many people who dont feel attractive still want to live. However if someone feels ugly and wants to CTB thats fine too.
If someone has been lonely for a long time and its not going to change at all, i would say that person has a right to CTB.

Yeah is completely matter of perspective. I feel alone as fuck and it has a great weight on me but at the same I never cared about the possible limitations I could have with my image.

I could go to the gym, have a new haircut, or any thing trying to be condisered attractive for society or others in general but here I am, posting here... I simply don't care at all...

 

[Ashpac]

Yeah is completely matter of perspective. I feel alone as fuck and it has a great weight on me but at the same I never cared about the possible limitations I could have with my image.

I could go to the gym, have a new haircut, or any thing trying to be condisered attractive for society or others in general but here I am, posting here... I simply don't care at all...

I can relate to the last part. I dont care either. I used to be buff and go to the gym 5/6 days a week, now i couldnt give 2 shits about the gym. I know where im gonna end up now. I was in denial back then thinking my life was gonna change. Im glad reality kicked my arse all over and showed me what my real destiny was meant to be. Dog shit.

 

[lost illusions]

As far as being ugly goes, if you look around, you will see that the majority of human beings are not very attractive. Especially in the U.S., most people are overweight, for one. Since there are so many people who aren't very attractive, if you don't have the highest standards for someone else's looks, below-average looks shouldn't exclude you from relationships. Have you thought about online dating?

Having experienced love doesn't necessarily make life worth living in the future, if the love ends. I have had really lovely long-term relationships, but they are over. They don't save my life experience now.

Some people are lucky to have long-term relationships that are loving, and last until old age. Such relationships are definitely good for mental health, and often just for having a more interesting / engaged life.

I think most people don't have that. Maybe they stay in an unhealthy relationship; or they get divorced; or their partner dies long before they do, so they end up lonely for decades after the relationship. It seems to me that you're experiencing something that many, if not most other people experience in life - loneliness / a lack of love is such a common part of the human experience.

That doesn't make it hurt less, but for me, I feel like certain things feel easier to bear when I understand that many other people experience them, too. That they're a part of being human. (But then, to me, being human is a raw deal, on balance.)

I've online dating, not good at it. I got pretty bad social skills

 

[windingdown]

I've online dating, not good at it. I got pretty bad social skills

I'm sorry :-(

 

[Smilla]

I've spent the last two holidays (Christmas) holed up in my apartment drinking myself to death. I'm looking forward to not having to deal with the intense loneliness of such a holiday—everyone is happy with their families and so forth.

I've online dating, not good at it. I got pretty bad social skills

Online dating is a shit show. I did it on and off for years. And even if you do connect with someone most men seem to just want sex, and women are equally shallow (I've seen profiles where women say "if you drive a Kia don't contact me). I no longer want any part of it.

Inability to connect with other humans is the prima facta reason I want and need to go. Never had a single friend in HS, couldn't relate to their fun and games plus I was a weirdo I guess, and still am at 38.

Life without connection is for me completely meaningless, and I've been lonely too long because of it. Time to get the hell out NOW.

The only connections I care about now are with other suicidal folks and people who understand my decision.