Discussion Is it weird to be worried about how others see me after I die?

[.............]

As much as I want to CTB, I often worry about how others think of me and/or talk about me after I do it for a plethora of reasons. I know I have no way to care when I'm dead, but I still think about it a ton. Anyone feel the same way, or am I weird for this?

 

[Cathy Ames]

I don't think you are weird for this, but it is EXTREMELY freeing to let go of it.

 

[FuneralCry]

The way that I see it, I will not be alive at that point so it does not matter to me how others react. When we die, we cease to exist, there is nothing. I do not think it is weird having those thoughts, as this existence is all we know so we cannot comprehend what it is like to be dead.

 

[Britvik]

While it doesn't make sense to worry about what happens after your death, it's perfectly understandable. I think it's common to consider how others perceive us. I think it comes with having self-consciousness and an identity, or ego. We want to feel that our lives meant something, perhaps.

 

[todestrieb]

When my husband ctb I realized that all worries go out the door when you feel you no longer have an escape, and the people you worry about turn tail real quick. My husband was by no means a perfect man. I loved him dearly in spite of his flaws, but the way people remember him now is actually kind of beautiful. Twisted and facetious if you know the truth, but beautiful nonetheless.

 

[Hercules]

I don't think that you are weird for worrying about this. It's natural for people to want others to think the best about them and to worry what others will think of them .

When I was younger, someone told me to stop worrying about what others think about you and just live your life. They pointed out that you can't control what other people think. Whether they are right or wrong about something, they are going to think whatever they want to think, and you can't change that.

I know it is easier said than done, but you should try to worry less what other people think. I have worried somewhat what other people might think or say when they hear that I ctb. Sometime I still worry, but decided that it really doesn't matter, because I will be dead, and whatever they say can't hurt or affect me anymore. Even if some people gossip or say something unkind, it won't be for very long. They will move on and start gossiping about something else very quickly. They always do.

Generally speaking, people usually only talk about the good times and good qualities of people when they remember someone who has died.

 

[deathbydragon]

The universe effectively comes to an end when you die, and whatever you tell people in a note or whatever, most will just cast their own judgement on you...so I've come to care very little about what people think.

 

[Hurt]

Sometimes I think about this but then I think "I won"t be here to know what they think about my death" so I stop worrying.

 

[Red Scare]

When my husband ctb I realized that all worries go out the door when you feel you no longer have an escape, and the people you worry about turn tail real quick. My husband was by no means a perfect man. I loved him dearly in spite of his flaws, but the way people remember him now is actually kind of beautiful. Twisted and facetious if you know the truth, but beautiful nonetheless.

I really relate this, I lost my husband the same way. At his funeral his family was telling stories from his childhood, remembering a person they knew that hadn't existed for a long time. The husband I knew, I spent 16 years with and his family didn't have any contact with us that whole time. They had no idea who he was, the man he'd become. I feel like I was the only one who will remember that person... and when I die, the memory of us and our relationship will be gone except for the few that knew us well.

Sometimes I think about how my remaining family will think about how I chose to die, and if they will be overly upset.

C'est la vie.

 

[Nolan96]

Feeling hopeless that you can go on isn't the same as giving up on everything you've ever done or even wanting to make the most of life. You can still worry about the legacy you'll leave after you're dead and not wanting to screw it up even if you feel this is the end of the road for you.

I worry about how CTBing would hurt people more than what people would say, but both are scary.

 

[inabsentia]

Not unusual at all. It's quite a normal human thing to be concerned what others might think, and I don't think even the fact of being dead and oblivious to it all means it shouldn't cross your mind when still alive.

For me, I'm more curious than worried. How will people react and will they talk and speculate... maybe it's a morbid sort of curiosity.