is it weird that i dont wanna be helped?

[jussaloser]

ive been in this state for years and im still rejecting any help.
i dont wanna make my mum worried.
i dont wanna turn my friends down with me.
im too anxious to go to therapist or to make a call.
i just want everything to end.

can anyone relate?

 

[AllFoxedOut]

yes, I do. I often don't show up for appointments I've made but I've been forcing myself to go to the ones I've made recently.

I don't blame you for refusing help, there is comfort and familiarity in feeling like we have always felt

 

[delusionalgirl]

It gets to the point where you say what's the point. I never got the proper help. Hell I got clean and sober on my own. No program. No sponsor. I had to become self sufficient young. My doc has me seeing a therapist. I'm only doing it because I don't want a welfare check. Nothing will change for me

 

[Darkover]

"I don't like ass kissers, flag wavers or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists. I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.'"

 

[sensenmann]

yes, I tell my relatives that therapy and medication won't help but they don't believe me.

 

[NoWayOut015]

I wanted to be helped and I asked for help, worked on myself for years and I'm back at where I started out. Actually I'm worse because now I've lost hope for myself. So now I just can't bear to really try anymore because what's the point if there's no real help...

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It's probably not a good idea to reject help at all, at least you should give it a try.

 

[Valky]

I agree, if it all comes crashing down, you might as well try and see how it goes :)

But I understand you. We cling to familiarity, even if it is hurting us

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think many people here will relate but I doubt pro-lifers will. But yes- it kind of irritates me. They seem to assume you're not making use of the 'help' available because you don't know about it. Like anyone could miss all the helplines plastered everywhere!

But yeah- I don't want to 'reach out' and tell friends and family because I don't want them to worry. There's nothing they can do to help. If I decide to do it one day, I don't want them to feel like they knew but didn't do enough to 'save' me. As for therapy and meds. Tried both briefly. Not really in a place where I want to fight to make things better or confront things that will make me feel worse. Don't want to be drugged up and made into a zombie so I can cope with another wage slave job. Sorry- thanks but no thanks!

 

[StolenLife]

I know that I can no longer be helped, my mental illnesses progressed further than I thought and I had no idea until now.

 

[mlcs]

If theres a reasonable chance that something or someone can help, go for it, even if you will make the person worried. It should be acceptable price if they can help you. I never hesitated to ask for help when there was hope, I only quit after I became aware that theres no any chance of me getting better and the only thing I could produce asking for help is endless meaningless conversation.

You all should worry a little bit more about yourself than others around you. The world is already cruel enough and we should act according to it. There's no point in endless pleasing to everyone around you. If you want to die, do it as it's your fundamenral right. Don't let thinking about other peoples feelings stop you in discontinuating pain and suffering. Don't worry about traumatising people around you with chosen method. You are more important than someones feelings. Also, if you want to live, fight for it and catch every straw that can help you. Love or hate yourself, just don't eat yourself constantly. Choose life or death and do everything thats needed to accomplish your goal.

 

[The anhedonic one]

No, it's not weird at all that you don't want to be helped.
You don't want to be helped anymore because life has kicked you in the teeth so much that you no longer feel like fighting.
You have finally realised that life is pointless and meaningless, and that everything ends in suffering, and that there is very little that you can do about it.
Yet, when you finally get to that sweet headspace, when you finally realise that the sweet release of death is the only solution to this painful and pointless existence will you experience the beautiful acceptance that to end your suffering is perfectly ok.