Help is it selfish to ctb when my LDR bf is here visiting?

[bunny_brownie9]

as the title says.

In my head I think about it as 'he can come to my funeral'. First time seeing each other in 7 months.

I feel awful, truly awful and terrible.

 

[sugarh1gh]

You know, he will be hurt a lot. It might be a good idea to give him a heads up

 

[Traveller12724]

I don't think that's a good idea because it will scar him for life if you do it now that he is in town, why not wait a couple of days until he leaves, I mean what does it matter if he attends the funeral or not, you won't be there to witness it anyway so why do you care if he attends the funeral. This way he can eventually move on after a year or two without being scarred for life. Leaving this planet is a very understandable choice, I am planning on it as well, but there is no need to scar others more than is necessary.

 

[lostinwoe]

You know, he will be hurt a lot. It might be a good idea to give him a heads up

if you want to be stopped ig if not don't do this it'll just be more stressful for him

 

[BardBarrie]

Probably better off amicably breaking up with him if you're dead set on CTB.

 

[needthebus]

don't. he'll think it had something to do with his visit.

yes, it's selfish and better to not do that while he's visiting you

he'll be devastated either way, but doing it while he's around will be worse. be kind and don't do it while he's visiting

are you depressed in general or depressed because of the long-distance aspect?

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Bad idea.

Not only will he be traumatized for life, but did you consider the authorities are going to ask him questions? Maybe even accuse him for assisted suicide?

And yes, I know a case unfortunately where the guy got detained for a few weeks because of investigation.

 

[crystal_meth97]

It will traumatize him deeply if he loves you and I assume he does. I would never do this, ever, but the choice is yours. Just keep in mind it will come with a lot of negative emotions for him, it's going to be a major shock if you're successful, and yes, he might and probably will feel guilty. He's going to have this burden to carry for the rest of his life, even though it might get easier to carry with time. Once again, the choice is yours.

 

[Ash]

If he's there then the chances are that he'll be the one who finds your body. That sort of thing stays with a person.

Personally, I'd either cancel the trip, do it before, or do it a while after so he doesn't carry the blame so intently. After all, this is your decision and isn't about him. And depending on your method, there's the chance that the police won't just look at him for assisted suicide but murder if he's in town.

He'll be in incredible pain whatever route you choose but there are ways you can minimise that and the guilt, even if he isn't aware of that.

 

[bunny_brownie9]

You know, he will be hurt a lot. It might be a good idea to give him a heads up

I understand what you're saying, but I don't think that that would be a good idea.

I don't think that's a good idea because it will scar him for life if you do it now that he is in town, why not wait a couple of days until he leaves, I mean what does it matter if he attends the funeral or not, you won't be there to witness it anyway so why do you care if he attends the funeral. This way he can eventually move on after a year or two without being scarred for life. Leaving this planet is a very understandable choice, I am planning on it as well, but there is no need to scar others more than is necessary.

he is in a different country which I suppose complicates things. My thought process was that if I do it while he's here, he won't have to come all the way back and spend lots of money to attend my funeral which I know he would want to. Thank you for your input.

Probably better off amicably breaking up with him if you're dead set on CTB.

I feel that that would hurt even more, a break up + a soon death.

don't. he'll think it had something to do with his visit.

yes, it's selfish and better to not do that while he's visiting you

he'll be devastated either way, but doing it while he's around will be worse. be kind and don't do it while he's visiting

are you depressed in general or depressed because of the long-distance aspect?

thank you. Dealing with bipolar, CPTSD and trauma and how I feel is unrelated to being in a LDR.

Bad idea.

Not only will he be traumatized for life, but did you consider the authorities are going to ask him questions? Maybe even accuse him for assisted suicide?

And yes, I know a case unfortunately where the guy got detained for a few weeks because of investigation.

I did not consider it but I don't think they would. They would probably ask how I was acting & stuff, but would not accuse him. Thank you for your input!

It will traumatize him deeply if he loves you and I assume he does. I would never do this, ever, but the choice is yours. Just keep in mind it will come with a lot of negative emotions for him, it's going to be a major shock if you're successful, and yes, he might and probably will feel guilty. He's going to have this burden to carry for the rest of his life, even though it might get easier to carry with time. Once again, the choice is yours.

I understand. I thought I would save him the hassle of going back home (a different country) and coming back. I appreciate what you're saying.

If he's there then the chances are that he'll be the one who finds your body. That sort of thing stays with a person.

Personally, I'd either cancel the trip, do it before, or do it a while after so he doesn't carry the blame so intently. After all, this is your decision and isn't about him. And depending on your method, there's the chance that the police won't just look at him for assisted suicide but murder if he's in town.

He'll be in incredible pain whatever route you choose but there are ways you can minimise that and the guilt, even if he isn't aware of that.

No, I would go elsewhere to ensure that he doesn't. The trip is happening, and ctb would happen when he leaves which is why I've been posting about June. SN is my method. I'm not sure if they would interrogate him or ask how I was behaving.

this is really helpful thank you