Is it possible to be suicidal without suffering from depression?

[IQLESS]

I'm not even that sad about the fact that I'll kill myself soon, It's more of a thing to look forward to. It sometimes even gets me through the day when you know that It'll all be over soon and It's not too long until you ctb.
I look at suicide as giving the world the finger and just logging off this shitty planet, I feel like It's a way around all the pain, like a cheatcode.
I'll be peacefully chilling in the void not existing and everyone else is gonna be suffering in this shitty gulag we call 'life'.
I don't think I have depression despite being suicidal, and I am 95% sure I will go through with it. Do you think It's even realistic or am I just in denial?
Edit: I apologize if this is a stupid question.

 

[Antigonish]

So what allot of people dont know is that depression is not sadness all the time really. It more of the lack there of. An emotional apathy. The feeling of nothingness. I googled the other day, what it meant that I could no longer cry. And tops results said it was a sign of depression. I mean I have allergies so tears come naturally. Just when I feel like it, I can't.

I also know that sometimes you can be happy and totally suicidal.

List of things that cause suicidal behavior:
Discontent
Medication
Financial troubles
The feeling that things are just too much to handle
Pressure
Feelings of not belonging
Trauma
Regret
The feeling that things are as good as they're ever gonna get for you
Etc.

 

[FuneralCry]

In a world as horrible as this, I see wanting to die as being perfectly rational. I am not 'mentally ill'. For me ctb is the only thing that makes sense. I'm not sad about wanting to die either. Suicide is the way to end all of my suffering and be at peace. It is comforting thinking about no longer being alive. It makes sense wanting to escape life as there is no limit to how bad things can get. This life holds unlimited potential for suffering. I hope you find peace.

 

[Antigonish]

So what allot of people dont know is that depression is not sadness all the time really. It more of the lack there of. An emotional apathy. The feeling of nothingness. I googled the other day, what it meant that I could no longer cry. And tops results said it was a sign of depression. I mean I have allergies so tears come naturally. Just when I feel like it, I can't.

I also know that sometimes you can be happy and totally suicidal.

List of things that cause suicidal behavior:
Discontent
Medication
Financial troubles
The feeling that things are just too much to handle
Pressure
Feelings of not belonging
Trauma
Regret
The feeling that things are as good as they're ever gonna get for you
Etc.

Fixed a typo that changed the complete meaning of what I meant to say.


Terminal illness
Constant physical pain
Tinnitus
Shitty government
Squirrels

Just some more things I thought I'd mention.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Yes.

 

[Trueform]

Yeah, once you accept that your life has no purpose and accept nihilism suicidal thoughts will come automatically.

 

[Snake of Eden]

So what allot of people dont know is that depression is not sadness all the time really. It more of the lack there of. An emotional apathy. The feeling of nothingness.

i never really understood that concept of depression = lack of emotions. To me depression is a shade of withdrawal and sadness. All depressions that I experienced stem of lack of happiness. It is inability to feel positive emotions and only feeling negative emotions. I think there are different types of depression for sure but that does not make the person completely numb

 

[Stopthepain]

In severe cases of Depression, people feel nothing anymore. Not even sadness. It might be just a dead or burning feeling of emptyness or numbness. But These are the severe cases. Depression has many levels. And there is a Infinite diffrence between mild and rly bad severe Depression.

 

[Lucifer'sRight]

I'm not even that sad about the fact that I'll kill myself soon, It's more of a thing to look forward to. It sometimes even gets me through the day when you know that It'll all be over soon and It's not too long until you ctb.
I look at suicide as giving the world the finger and just logging off this shitty planet, I feel like It's a way around all the pain, like a cheatcode.
I'll be peacefully chilling in the void not existing and everyone else is gonna be suffering in this shitty gulag we call 'life'.
I don't think I have depression despite being suicidal, and I am 95% sure I will go through with it. Do you think It's even realistic or am I just in denial?
Edit: I apologize if this is a stupid question.

i think most people are in a way depressed and don't even know it. apathy is a depressive state. without experiencing real happiness ever in your life you don't have a comparison, so you could take a relatively shitty state of mind and call it normal, for as much as i know that's what people in this society do, just because it carries on for most of their days.
i'd say that my "normal" days are actually depressive, comparing to my "manic" ones.
i'm not underestimating real debilitating depressive states, i know very well what they are.

 

[apathetic.]

even if I wasn't depressed, i would still want to kms. This world is too ducked up to keep on living. Just want to finally not be a part of this rat race. It's too much for just existing. Not even worth it in the end. Can't wait to be a part of the void again and leave normies behind!

 

[Seiba]

Suicide is not a result of depression in of itself. It is linked to many different things and at best complicit sometimes. Same with other disorders, BPD has a 10% suicide rate and autism has a pretty high suicide rate as well.

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

just logging off this shitty planet

I completely agree though; the world can be shitty. For some though, our issues come from within and ending your life is a way of "logging out of a shitty server". Either way - logging off.. yes

It most definitely is a "cheat code" too. People are like "You must do this... Life's just like this, you must tolerate it and suffer for decades. Like no - bitch, I'm an independent sovereign being and I chose what and if I tolerate and suffer.

In regards to your question I think it's a very excellent one and an important conversation for humanity's evolution - the idea that this world and life is not some untouchable, uncompromising thing that must be upheld at all times despite one's suffering and that you don't have to be out of your mind or under the influence of a sickness to see that.

When I was about 10, I remember having the thought that I'm just not "up" for life. I thought "I'm probably gonna be one of those people that kill themselves".... I wasn't depressed then and had a happy childhood. Maybe I have some undiagnosed disorder or maybe human beings really can be that independent and liberated from their evolution, imposed existence and society's beliefs from a place that comes from the soul.

Only you can know why you're doing this really. From my perspective, I'd have to be so emotionally torn up about the injustices of the world to harm myself physically if it weren't my own issues that were making me kill myself. We aren't meant to concern ourselves with all the world's injustice all of the time and let if affect us so much that it puts a damper on our own lives but that's what living in the modern, technology, information era will do to you. But that's only me.. As I said only you know or can at least expand on your perspective for us to understand lol.

 

[Chockles]

I've never had major episodes of depression. I have anxiety but that is mainly now due to my debilitating physical pain. Yet I'm suicidal need to ctb soon as I have no life & never wil again.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

The suicide rate per age is greatest in old age. Makes aging depressive or will SI become weaker in old age? I think SI will bother us less if death is inevitable.

I cannot feel why life is bad, I enjoy every day. Aging is the only imposition of life. So it´s only logic to cut off the appendix of life that is not worth living. Why I am not dead yet? I am still afraid that I could miss something.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Yeah, but for me It came after long depression episode. I think It is possible. I even heard theory that depression is a defense mechanism against suicide- when you are depressed your low drive stops you from taking actions towards suicide. Like for me It is more about future I don't want to have. It is my escape from this place.

 

[Tempest]

In western psychiatry everything* is pathologized. If there is a mental phenomenon that is causing a problem, then it's a symptom, and where there's a symptom there's a disorder. Some might say that persistent suicidal thoughts de facto mean depression (unless the suicidal thoughts are caused by something like a chronic illness that makes living unbearable). Personally I don't think this is a good framework for discussing and diagnosing mental illness, because something can cause mental anguish and not be a problem in and of itself. People who are physically unattractive (or believe they are) experience problems stemming from their looks, but that doesn't mean we should put "being ugly" in the DSM. It would only worsen the stigma and self-image of those who have this problem.

The question is, are suicidal thoughts inherently a problem? For many people, yes, they are intrusive thoughts that are unwanted and interfere with a life they want to keep living. For others, suicidal thoughts are in line with the person's emotional and rational desires, and the suicidal person doesn't see them as an Issue. Mental health professionals almost certainly won't care for the difference when making their diagnosis. From that point of view, a mind that seeks its own demise is ill, no debate. But for those of us who are suicidal I think it's important to look inward and examine where our suicidal thoughts are coming from and whether they are in line with what we truly want. No one wants to be depressed or anxious. Some people are content with being suicidal, even if they aren't content with the circumstances that made them so. There is no clear line between acceptable variations in being vs unacceptable disorder, free will vs a sick mind incapable of informed choice, normative vs aberrant behavior.

 

[Seiba]

Some people are content with being suicidal, even if they aren't content with the circumstances that made them so.

In western psychiatry everything* is pathologized. If there is a mental phenomenon that is causing a problem, then it's a symptom, and where there's a symptom there's a disorder. Some might say that persistent suicidal thoughts de facto mean depression (unless the suicidal thoughts are caused by something like a chronic illness that makes living unbearable). Personally I don't think this is a good framework for discussing and diagnosing mental illness, because something can cause mental anguish and not be a problem in and of itself. People who are physically unattractive (or believe they are) experience problems stemming from their looks, but that doesn't mean we should put "being ugly" in the DSM. It would only worsen the stigma and self-image of those who have this problem.

The question is, are suicidal thoughts inherently a problem? For many people, yes, they are intrusive thoughts that are unwanted and interfere with a life they want to keep living. For others, suicidal thoughts are in line with the person's emotional and rational desires, and the suicidal person doesn't see them as an Issue. Mental health professionals almost certainly won't care for the difference when making their diagnosis. From that point of view, a mind that seeks its own demise is ill, no debate. But for those of us who are suicidal I think it's important to look inward and examine where our suicidal thoughts are coming from and whether they are in line with what we truly want. No one wants to be depressed or anxious. Some people are content with being suicidal, even if they aren't content with the circumstances that made them so. There is no clear line between acceptable variations in being vs unacceptable disorder, free will vs a sick mind incapable of informed choice, normative vs aberrant behavior.

Well written post. Your point about some being content with suicide but not the circumstances is a good nuance that many non-suicidal don't get.

 

[ThisIsNotMeR]

It most certainly is possible. Plenty of reasons. Eg.

• terminal illness but you'd rather go on your own terms
• non-terminal illness that still causes more physical suffering than it's worth
• being accused of a serious crime with no hope of defending yourself (regardless of your innocence)
• feeling like you've simply completed your life goals (some old people do this)
• sheer curiosity at what's beyond (this one might sound a bit silly in hindsight but I can see it myself)
• martyrdom
• insanity

all of which may be experienced during an otherwise happy life.

 

[idencrisis]

Regarding depression, it's a rainbow of gray shades. I've had many "happy" moments while depressed. But you know it is there. It doesn't leave you. You may lose some focus, some energy, some sexual drive, some lack of social engagement, you know something is ever so wrong, even in the happy days. It's a dark cloud, a heavy crown, and it built up for years and years for most of us, despite our best efforts to fight it.

 

[blueclover_.]

Yes. My suicide reason is based on philosopy. I know that i'm just gonna suffer if i keep going, so if life inherently has no purpose, why would i want to put myself through meaningless suffering? What is life for anyway? Nothing. So for me it is perfectly logical to not want unnecessary pain caused by life for no purpose at all.

 

[Antigonish]

i never really understood that concept of depression = lack of emotions. To me depression is a shade of withdrawal and sadness. All depressions that I experienced stem of lack of happiness. It is inability to feel positive emotions and only feeling negative emotions. I think there are different types of depression for sure but that does not make the person completely numb

True. But in my case it's kinda like a sidekick to ever emotion I feel. Even when I'm truly happy, it's kinda like an out of body experience. Like I'm not the one actually feeling it. Same thing with sadness. Funny enough, I always tell people my emotions are like dial up. You could hurt me now, or make me happy. And I won't feel it until a year later. Not to say that is everyone. But I do know depression is a grey area. And no one really knows everything about it, except the people going through it. And still it's a mystery to them. Most people who have it, dont even realize it. Matter a fact, I believe allot of people self medicate and dont realize; ie drugs, alchohol, reckless sex, toxic relationships, stupid fun behavior, etc. Whatever it takes to feel what you need.

Yes. My suicide reason is based on philosopy. I know that i'm just gonna suffer if i keep going, so if life inherently has no purpose, why would i want to put myself through meaningless suffering? What is life for anyway? Nothing. So for me it is perfectly logical to not want unnecessary pain caused by life for no purpose at all.

You speak to the ever loving nihilist in me.i wake up every day asking what's the point. Even gaining things is stupid. You only lose it in this short ephemeral life we have anyways. Were all just drops in the cosmic stream. Dust in the hurricane. And nothing matters. Kinda just born to die.

 

[Hurt]

I've been thinking about dying for years and I'm not sad about it. Dying is the best that can happen to me right now and I'm OK with that. Nothing left to do in this world for me.

 

[Pluto]

I can't imagine any instance of not wanting to CTB at some point. I have seen old people rotting away in nursing homes awaiting death by some 'natural cause', and it isn't pretty. Even if by some miracle I turned my life situation around and lived happily to 80, I would not wish that fate upon myself or anyone else. There's a time when enough is enough.

For the non-elderly, the issue is that sometimes suicidal thoughts, with or without the classical symptoms of depression, can represent a reasonable, accurate and fair assessment of a life situation. Be it chronic physical pain, unworkable childhood trauma, an inability to connect with others, a hopeless economic outlook, despair over the injustice of the world... the question must follow whether suicidal people are negatively biased as the medical community claims, or whether 'normal' people are actually positively biased in order to perpetuate their cycles of tragedy.

Depressive realism - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[fox_wannabe]

I know It is not for personal reasons but I will use it us such.

I want to die because I cannot work (like employment) or talk with other people properly. Is anybody here also like that?

 

[Pluto]

I want to die because I cannot work (like employment) or talk with other people properly. Is anybody here also like that?

I struggle to communicate with others in ways that are in any way satisfying or meaningful. I started out feeling like I'm something weird and unrelatable, then end up BECOMING weird and unrelatable.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

I don't think so, but I'm biased because I'm suicidal and have ideations, and may go through with it soon. I made poor decisions that lead up to this point in my life.

Throughout the rest of my life before this, I've never had suicidal thoughts unless I was super depressed

 

[Ch92921]

So what allot of people dont know is that depression is not sadness all the time really. It more of the lack there of. An emotional apathy. The feeling of nothingness. I googled the other day, what it meant that I could no longer cry. And tops results said it was a sign of depression. I mean I have allergies so tears come naturally. Just when I feel like it, I can't.

I also know that sometimes you can be happy and totally suicidal.

List of things that cause suicidal behavior:
Discontent
Medication
Financial troubles
The feeling that things are just too much to handle
Pressure
Feelings of not belonging
Trauma
Regret
The feeling that things are as good as they're ever gonna get for you
Etc.

You believe just discontant is enough to overcome SI?

 

[PeacefulTonic]

@Antigonish

I've never met a single person in my entire lifetime who was happy and suicidal. If that's the case, they were probably depressed and hiding it well

 

[Ch92921]

@Antigonish

I've never met a single person in my entire lifetime who was happy and suicidal. If that's the case, they were probably depressed and hiding it well

I thought the same

 

[samras]

It's a brilliant and intelligent question and I can completely relate to your thoughts. I also find a great sense of hope and comfort in ending my time here as the best remedy from this terrible fate we are forced to endure called existence.

I believe you can be suicidal and not be suffering from depression. I do think there is an element of sadness that drives suicidal thinking, but equally there is also a great feeling of empowerment in taking your life into your own hands and sticking two fingers up at the world.

This culture of ours likes to conflate suicide with depression and mental illness in order to manage and contain it as something wrong and sinful. Suicide needs to remain taboo and be stigmatised because it upsets everything we are taught to believe in. It poses a huge threat to the order of things and all the institutions that brainwash us into believing our life has meaning and purpose.