Is it possible for an online dating platform to have the majority of interactions to be healthy?

[tabletop]

Not seeking impossible perfection. But as opposed to how dating apps today are considered mostly toxic while there are some good experiences. I've tried online dating since it was on computers before smartphones. It really was better then. Now it fucks with peoples heads really bad and you can see it in how bitter and sexist they are. This ins't unique by any means to either sex. What if there were a dating site (could be an app to) without the swipe and like format. More like the old days where one could browse and search profiles. I understand some people with this format would get an overwhelming number of messages. But there could perhaps be "not listed" profile setting where their profile can't be searched. But they can still search and message (or wink at) others. But the core of the operating model would be a test about healthy social and romantic interactions. A test that one would be REQUIRED to pass. Cover things like setting boundaries, respecting boundaries, recognizing what abuse actually is, asserting yourself, conflict resolution, fleeing abuse, metting strangers from the internet safely, etc.

bleh
Do you think that this idea (or any variation of it) could lead to a mostly healthy online dating experience? This is just a thought of mine. I don't write computer code (not that i couldn't learn, I can). I'm super open to suggestions on how this idea could work out. As well as criticizms! In fact I'm asking for it lol. If i ever did feel like pursuing this and trying to make it happen I'd probably want to involve multiple therapists of different backgrounds as well as randomized questionaires to the public. Mostly for developing the test and how to grade it.

 

[fuzzy-clown]

Maybe you can write a separate website where people can take the test and if they pass, it will give some certificate to put onto their online dating profile. And before you go on a date with someone, you can request that they get certified too.
I think the main issue is that people know the right answer but don't actually abide by it.

 

[Life'sA6itch]

In short, nope, nope and nope. I've not found it to be possible that the majority of interactions be healthy on dating apps/sites and the irony of you asking this question on this site does not escape me

 

[tabletop]

Maybe you can write a separate website where people can take the test and if they pass, it will give some certificate to put onto their online dating profile. And before you go on a date with someone, you can request that they get certified too.
I think the main issue is that people know the right answer but don't actually abide by it.

That is a big issue for sure. Lots of assholes out there. But I've known many abused and abusers who don't understand what emotional abuse is, or that name calling is abuse. I have family and friends who are regularly abused and they deny that it even is abuse. I've heard an abuse victim claim that her most abusive partner was the one partner who didn't abuse her. If a victim knows how to and insists on not being abused then an abuser can't abuse them. I think if more people refused to allow being abused, That would affect the number of people who think it's okay to be abused.

In short, nope, nope and nope. I've not found it to be possible that the majority of interactions be healthy on dating apps/sites and the irony of you asking this question on this site does not escape me

It's actually quite well documented. This is just a handful of countless articles written by educated professionals about the topic. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...10/are-dating-apps-damaging-our-mental-health

We’ve come to expect being treated badly on dating apps | Joanne Orlando

The behaviour exhibited on dating apps can be profoundly demoralising, writes social researcher Joanne Orlando – and it creeps into our lives offline

www.theguardian.com

5 Dangers of Online Dating That Threaten Your Mental Health

As more and more singles turn to dating apps like Tinder to find true love, we need to talk about the psychological dangers of online dating and how to avoid them.

www.blunt-therapy.com

Why Are Dating Apps So Toxic?

It's the most popular way to find love but it's certainly not the best. Why are dating apps so toxic?

www.bolde.com

Can you show any evidence/data that actually suggests the majority of experiences are healthy as you claim?
The fact that you only claim it's healthy while making an accusatory statement. With no understanding of me. While not asking me about my experiences and simply jumping to judgement. This sort of toxic behavior is exactly the sort of garbage I'd like to filter out. It's not okay to judge someone based on a paragraph on the internet. If you desire to have healthy communications with others then it's not okay to jump to conclusions and tell them your judgements. Instead, what is healthy is to ask others about their experiences and them. Take time to develop an understanding before making judgements. This is really very basic stuff that yourself and most people on dating apps are not understanding. Dating apps have too many people thinking they can judge others off of a single paragraph and that's just not okay. How does one even get to the point of making an accusatory statement based only on asking for ideas on how to improve the mental health experience and treatment of others? Is it not logical to want more healthy interactions when it's well documented to be mostly not? If most of your online interactions are healthy as you claim. It could perhaps be your locality. Culture can vary wildly by region and even city and within a single city there can be a lot of variance. Though to be honest if you're judging others on the internet based on a paragraph as you did me. I question if you even know what healthy is. If your experiences are actually mostly healthy then I appreciate that and am happy for you. But your experience is not everyone's experience and it's been documented.
Speaking of locality I am looking into moving to a different mental health culture. I still live in the city I was born in. Every time I meet someone who moved here from elsewhere I always ask what it's like here compared to where they are from. Almost always the first answer I get is that people here are more assholes than where they are from. I don't even ask people what the people are like here. I just ask what is it like here compared to where they are from. Everyone not from here immediately jumps to talking about how the people are much less polite and honest. Shit ton of jobs though with above average pay and below average cost of living. Last person I asked who isn't from here said she noticed that here most people will say let's hang out or visit later but they almost never mean it. For me I'm just like yeah that's normal. Actions speak louder than words and few here mean what they say. If there is another place I could live where lying isn't the norm that'd be awesome. Also I'd like to point out why it makes sense to discuss this topic on this site or any mental health forum for that matter. It's well known that the way we treat others impacts our mental health. Those who are on mental health forums for the sake of improvement (this is the recovery section) are the ones most likely to care about this topic. As well as those on mental health forums would be most likely to understand how treatment of others does impact mental health. It's only logical to try to do better. And only toxic to discourage others from doing better and having a better understanding of mental health. Typically it's abusers that discourage learning about mental health and treating others with respect.

 

[Celerity]

Dating in general sucks. It sucked before, and it still sucks. With us being all chronically online yet still incapable of being considerate over the internet, I think we're doomed. I hope you can come up with something though. It's a sweet thought. We all need something else for sure.

 

[edu0z]

that doesn't even happen in real life