Discussion Is it normal to be happy all the time?

[Deleted member 24152]

I wonder if this is not some kind of disorder (?). It's not "health" to be sad all the time, what about the other side? I'm curious about it.
Recently I spoke with friend who is never sad. He can't understand my condition and I can't understand him. He doesn't remember when he was sad, cry or be angry maybe for 5 minutes very rarely. If he fails something, he doesn't care. if someone leaves him, he doesn't care. His childhood wasn't easy and computer games were his escape from problems. On the one hand, it makes me happy, because I know that when I leave, he won't depressed.
What do you think? Do "normal" people look like that?

 

[VivaldiBR]

No, it's not. Nor be unhappy all the time.

 

[All washed up]

That's definitely not normal

 

[BrokenBelt]

I know that I prefer to be happy but it's true to say that I'm not always. Being happy is more fun than being sad.

People differ, for whatever reasons, and I think we all have different happy/sad balances.

 

[botanormal]

I don't think it's normal to be happy all the time, not that it's something terrible. But people who seem 'happy all the time' probably do a lot to block out their emotions, and it's not really healthy to do that. You should be able to experience all sorts of emotions, if you bottle things up it will only end up worse for you. 'Normal' people will feel many different emotions, and so if you're only feeling one emotion, there might be something wrong. Not that I'm implying your friend has some sort of disorder, I think only his therapist/doctor could understand that. Some people are also just naturally able to find more happiness than others, I think it's a good thing so long as they're not forcing themselves.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I don't think most people are happy all the time--more like content/neutral if anything.

Look up the hedonistic treadmill theory, which states that people tend to hover around a baseline level of happiness regardless of excess pain or pleasure. Most people just seem to "bounce back" to their neutral state and not get phased by anything. They usually stay too busy to think too deeply about their emotions.

It makes sense, because people have always gotten frustrated at me for not "getting better" and being unable to move past my trauma.

 

[Symbiote]

It's not normal to be happy all the time because that leads you down the road of ignorance and arrogance. People that think that the world is perfect live in a bubble and wear rose-colored glasses (is that how the analogy went?) They can't see or gain perspective beyond what's around their inner circle. I don't think they're genuinely happy, but more likely giving off a sense of denial and a bit of fakeness. Knew a lady that was happy all the time, full of life and love, didn't believe in depression and was ignorant of most of the suffering around. Really annoying and felt like she had a book of platitudes ready to hurl at anyone who was sad.

Generally, I believe what @KuriGohan&Kamehameha and @botanormal have already said, people hover in the middle, I try to be in the middle as much as I can. Too sad or too happy and I impulsively start destroying things or hurting others. Takes a lot of self-control to stay in the middle because humans in general are always about instant gratification or instant fixes to be happy. A lot of self-control and willpower to be humble.

 

[Gnip]

No, and this is a conversation I have actually had with chronically happy people. Some studies have shown that mildly depressed people (not the sort of membership here) have a superior grasp of reality to joyful people.

The happy people I have discussed this subject with agree that it is a maladaptation which can compromise survivability, and this is why so many people like that wind up the victims of crimes and misdeeds at the hands of the unscrupulous. Some of them do succeed in life, while others wind up getting killed. The news is full of nice, friendly, kind, gentle and happy people who wind up entangled with seriously bad situations due to blind trust.

Cheerful Personality Disorder will never be formally codified as a mental illness in all likelihood, but the case is there that maybe it should be, since it can compromise survivability in situations where the extreme optimist does not recognize hazards in favor of automatically positive expectations.

Being a trusting person means that the trusting person is trustworthy, it doesn't mean that the trusting person can actually trust others.


When my response to Prozac was peaking, some of my chronically miserable family members who were desperate to keep me down became concerned that I was "flying high," but I concede there was indeed a point where my medication induced sense of optimism may well have been getting delusional. No, I may not have been at risk for committing suicide, but I may well have been at risk for getting killed due to obliviousness.

It's not normal to be happy all the time because that leads you down the road of ignorance and arrogance. People that think that the world is perfect live in a bubble and wear rose-colored glasses (is that how the analogy went?) They can't see or gain perspective beyond what's around their inner circle. I don't think they're genuinely happy, but more likely giving off a sense of denial and a bit of fakeness. Knew a lady that was happy all the time, full of life and love, didn't believe in depression and was ignorant of most of the suffering around. Really annoying and felt like she had a book of platitudes ready to hurl at anyone who was sad.

Generally, I believe what @KuriGohan&Kamehameha and @botanormal have already said, people hover in the middle, I try to be in the middle as much as I can. Too sad or too happy and I impulsively start destroying things or hurting others. Takes a lot of self-control to stay in the middle because humans in general are always about instant gratification or instant fixes to be happy. A lot of self-control and willpower to be humble.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_mean_(philosophy)

 

[RepressedMind]

Perhaps he's just putting up a front, it's not normal to be happy all the time.

 

[All washed up]

It's not normal to be happy all the time because that leads you down the road of ignorance and arrogance. People that think that the world is perfect live in a bubble and wear rose-colored glasses (is that how the analogy went?) They can't see or gain perspective beyond what's around their inner circle. I don't think they're genuinely happy, but more likely giving off a sense of denial and a bit of fakeness. Knew a lady that was happy all the time, full of life and love, didn't believe in depression and was ignorant of most of the suffering around. Really annoying and felt like she had a book of platitudes ready to hurl at anyone who was sad.

Generally, I believe what @KuriGohan&Kamehameha and @botanormal have already said, people hover in the middle, I try to be in the middle as much as I can. Too sad or too happy and I impulsively start destroying things or hurting others. Takes a lot of self-control to stay in the middle because humans in general are always about instant gratification or instant fixes to be happy. A lot of self-control and willpower to be humble.

I can relate to this. I was generally a middle of the road type all my life good periods down periods but nothing to extreme either way.
Then 2 years ago a lot of good things started happening and I got overly happy leading to a certain level of ignorance and arrogance that I'd never shown before despite being in my 50s,.
Started believing praise I was getting when I expressed self doubt.
Made some stupid decisions and now my view of the world is so different.
Irony being if I'd have come onto SS in the good times and read the advice on here I'd have not been on here now suffering these bad times.

 

[Symbiote]

Like I always told my wife whenever she says, "You should be more happy" and I tell her I am, in my own way, you may not see it, but I tread the line in the middle and that's my happy/content spot. The link above about the Golden Mean is spot on, combined with Stoicism as the control point to bring me in line with the middle. I feel dangerous and careless when I'm too happy, then it comes crashing down in a ball of fire, and then I'm at rock bottom again. I just don't want the extremes anymore, I rather be leveled and grounded, things in life are a bit easier to manage that way.

 

[WornOutLife]

As Keane sang once:

"Nobody's happy or sad for very long"

However, if you or anybody manages to be happy all the time, wow, I really envy you.

 

[BrokenBelt]

...and I guess there's a difference between someone being happy every time you see them and them being happy all the time. Some people mask their sadness very well.

 

[Apathy79]

I think I understand your friend. If I'm right, he's like me. He's not happy all the time. He just has an easy going approach to life that results in rarely feeling sad or angry or any extreme emotion, including happiness. I suspect trying to force yourself to feel happy all the time would have the opposite effect. Just wear life like a loose garment instead. I can't even remember where I heard that now but gee it has stuck!

 

[yetme]

I'd say it's normal. fuck the sadness!

 

[suicidaltoad]

i'm a bit jealous of him, even if it's not normal. very occasionally (like maybe a handful of times in a year) something will trigger my brain to be extremely hopeful and happy for about 30 seconds. I feel like I could conquer the world when I'm that happy... I'd honestly love to feel that way 24/7