ggetout33
Just stuck here.
- Mar 3, 2023
- 185
So per my last post, I said that once my dog dies (hopefully of old age) that'll be when I try to leave this shitty ass earth. So at most, a decade and some change. The question is, would this be logistically possible for me to "wait" this long?
I am 24 years old as of writing. My physical health is not the greatest, but could be worse: I'm obese and have a huge addiction to caffeine and sugar. I'm out of shape and occasionally get joint pains. I'm also a chronic desk jockey. But so far, no conditions that would imminently lead to my untimely demise if left untreated. Unless I suddenly have a heart attack or some shit, but cardiovascular issues don't run in my family IIRC. My "best" bet would be diabetes, since that runs in my family, but that's a slow and painful way to go.
This is also assuming nothing happens to me as well. Stuff like getting shot or hit by a car.
On the mental front?: Gender dysphoria (closet trans girl), severe depression, ADD, Autism, it sucks. It absolutely sucks.
And then there's the finances: I'm broke as fuck and the only reason I'm not homeless is because I live with my parents and they kinda pay for everything. The last time I worked was in late 2022 from a job that stressed me the fuck out, and I've been unemployed ever since. There once was a time when I actually cared about looking for a job, but employment is a dream I've already given up on. And given the way things are going in the USA (it's where I live, fuck this country lmao), I've personally embraced the "Lying Flat" mindset and just stopped caring.
If having a job was in the cards for me, it would've happened by now. But not even retails or gas stations are hiring, so I'm not sure what else to do job-wise. Hence this post. It would be reasonable to expect me to live on 10-15 years given my young age. But financially I don't know how I'd survive that long. If it would even be possible to. Especially because my reasons for not wanting to live are primarily financial with a dash of existential. I just don't see a good future for myself the way things are heading.
My parents are both employed working full time jobs for the government, and they are both in their late 40's. They are both in somewhat good health, but like I said for me, anything can happen. They're the other reason I haven't CTB'd yet. They would be wrecked if I were to die before them.
My dog is a 1 year old Shih Tzu and is currently healthy. IIRC, Shih Tzu's live about 10-15 years assuming she makes it to old age. So that would put me at my mid-late 30's once she does die (again, assuming it's old age). And my parents would be somewhere in their 60's assuming they live. Besides that, the most likely causes of death for her would be either an accident, a disease, or attacked by an animal while in our backyard.
I'm just not sure what I'd do if my dog dies but my parents are still living. Or inversely, if my parents die but my dog is still alive and I'd have to take care of her myself. For the former, maybe still CTB from the grief of losing my dog? Since as I previously stated, my dog is the reason I haven't done it yet. But I'm not sure what I'd do for the latter.
I am 24 years old as of writing. My physical health is not the greatest, but could be worse: I'm obese and have a huge addiction to caffeine and sugar. I'm out of shape and occasionally get joint pains. I'm also a chronic desk jockey. But so far, no conditions that would imminently lead to my untimely demise if left untreated. Unless I suddenly have a heart attack or some shit, but cardiovascular issues don't run in my family IIRC. My "best" bet would be diabetes, since that runs in my family, but that's a slow and painful way to go.
This is also assuming nothing happens to me as well. Stuff like getting shot or hit by a car.
On the mental front?: Gender dysphoria (closet trans girl), severe depression, ADD, Autism, it sucks. It absolutely sucks.
And then there's the finances: I'm broke as fuck and the only reason I'm not homeless is because I live with my parents and they kinda pay for everything. The last time I worked was in late 2022 from a job that stressed me the fuck out, and I've been unemployed ever since. There once was a time when I actually cared about looking for a job, but employment is a dream I've already given up on. And given the way things are going in the USA (it's where I live, fuck this country lmao), I've personally embraced the "Lying Flat" mindset and just stopped caring.
If having a job was in the cards for me, it would've happened by now. But not even retails or gas stations are hiring, so I'm not sure what else to do job-wise. Hence this post. It would be reasonable to expect me to live on 10-15 years given my young age. But financially I don't know how I'd survive that long. If it would even be possible to. Especially because my reasons for not wanting to live are primarily financial with a dash of existential. I just don't see a good future for myself the way things are heading.
My parents are both employed working full time jobs for the government, and they are both in their late 40's. They are both in somewhat good health, but like I said for me, anything can happen. They're the other reason I haven't CTB'd yet. They would be wrecked if I were to die before them.
My dog is a 1 year old Shih Tzu and is currently healthy. IIRC, Shih Tzu's live about 10-15 years assuming she makes it to old age. So that would put me at my mid-late 30's once she does die (again, assuming it's old age). And my parents would be somewhere in their 60's assuming they live. Besides that, the most likely causes of death for her would be either an accident, a disease, or attacked by an animal while in our backyard.
I'm just not sure what I'd do if my dog dies but my parents are still living. Or inversely, if my parents die but my dog is still alive and I'd have to take care of her myself. For the former, maybe still CTB from the grief of losing my dog? Since as I previously stated, my dog is the reason I haven't done it yet. But I'm not sure what I'd do for the latter.
