Discussion is heartbreak why u want to ctb?

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Recently, definitely.

I've always struggled with wanting to but the pain is pretty unbearable after you've let your walls down to someone, opened up about all of your past trauma and they still decide go ahead and lie, manipulate and hurt you. It's beyond shitty. That was all I really needed at this point to push me to my limit.

Any ounce of love or hope in me is mostly gone. The tiny bit I do have is reserved for my cat.

People suck. I've learned that it's really best not to open up to anyone, so you don't get hurt. Animals are amazing, they never leave us. They deserve everything

Heartache is mine as well... a stinging, painful ache, but slightly different than the typical.
The void in my heart is from the physical loss of the love of my life. I woke up to him dead and everything has fallen apart.
He worked himself to death... didn't even make it to bed. I still remember how he felt so cold.
Honestly though, he probably had a much nicer exit than I will at this point, but existing now is cruel.
Just the fact that time keeps passing since I last saw him is a genuine living nightmare that keeps growing and eating away at my insides.

I'm so sorry for your suffering and lost.

These people could not love themselves because they'd never received the necessary affection in childhood and having no awareness of the problem, they always thought they were the only culprits

Unfortunately I identify with this.

 

[motel rooms]

Nobody should ever CTB over the heartbreak of a break up. I understand how painful it can be but this is a spontaneous act. The wounds will heal with time. There are no soul mates. There are simply some good ones and some bad ones. You can always find another one. Your happiness shouldn't depend on somebody else anyways.

Please don't generalize. Not everyone is replaceable. Not all wounds heal with time. Not everyone can always find someone else. And you don't get to tell people what their happiness should depend on.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Please don't generalize. Not everyone is replaceable. Not all wounds heal with time. Not everyone can always find someone else. And you don't get to tell people what their happiness should depend on.

Indeed

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Yes. When it dawned on me that I will never turn back time and talk to the girl I liked in high school, death became the only way out.

 

[DeprivedofLife666]

Yes even though I've never had an actual relationship except 1 or 2 in high school. I never went past kissing and they dumped me because I still wanted to be a virgin while in school. Fast forward to today, 31, still single. Guess I'm going to die a virgin. I might have to offer myself as a sacrifice if shit continues to hit the fan with the world being the way it is.

 

[...]

afraid so

 

[rabbitlinnt10]

I think it's a part of the puzzle, but tbh my relationship ending impacted a lot of my major social groups so ya. it's been 4 years and I still think about her while fantasising about old times. I'm living life in an alternate reality in which I am filled with doubt and always wondering what could've been. i can't settle for a life this mediocre and tormenting to deal with, to the point where all I can think about is where I went wrong, and have that idea pop up in any moment/scenario of my life, no matter the situation or how "happy" aka distracted and dumbed down I feel temporarily. Thinking about her and all those burned bridges will instantly bring my mood down and reduce my purpose of life to a brick. I feel worthless

 

[Misery99]

For me it's the heartache, not just from relationships, but from realizing I don't fit into this world.

That's the same in my situation.

 

[Al Cappella]

That's the same in my situation.

It generally stinks, right?

 

[Misery99]

It generally stinks, right?

Yes it is I'd rather die than live like this.

 

[PerpetualPain]

Please don't generalize. Not everyone is replaceable. Not all wounds heal with time. Not everyone can always find someone else. And you don't get to tell people what their happiness should depend on.

Yes they are replaceable. There are like 3 billion potential replacements. How is it rational to think that this one person was the perfect person for you out of billions. A emotional attachment was created and this cognitive distortion took hold that this connection cannot happen again with somebody else. Look how many people lose the supposed love of their life to death and are able to go on a remarry and be happy again. This is a scarcity mindset that you can't go out and find somebody else who can fulfill your same needs and desires. Develop a mindset of abundance. We all know break ups hurt like hell and can hurt for a long time but there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[tonytwist007]

It's my birthday today and I just joined Exit International

 

[Gsvko]

Yeah I felt really hurt over someone who said multiple times he loves me constantly flipping back and forth about it. He would get angry if I told him I didn't believe him, but now that I decided to believe him and fell for him he now says he feels nothing for me.

Really makes me want to punch someone

 

[RetroChaos]

Yes they are replaceable. There are like 3 billion potential replacements. How is it rational to think that this one person was the perfect person for you out of billions. A emotional attachment was created amd this cognitive distortion took hold that this connection cannot happen again with somebody else. Look how many people lose the supposed love of their life to death and are able to go on a remarry and be happy again. This is a scarcity mindset that you can't go out and find somebody else who can fulfill your same needs and desires. Develop a mindset of abundance. We all know break ups heart like hell and can hurt for a long time but there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Irony is people say that then in the same breath will try and cheer someone to by saying "you're unique" and "there's only one of you". In which case I'll have to respectfully disagree on your post.

 

[s66]

probably, I cannot get a boyfriend.

 

[Cathy Ames]

It's my birthday today and I just joined Exit International

Happy Birthday anyhow.

 

[Tristan]

I would never hurt myself for someone that didn't treat me right, I'm sorry for your current situation.

 

[Cathy Ames]

Yeah, most definitely. My daughter is my whole world but her mother has poisoned her mind and I have not been able to see her for over 2 years. All of my phone calls and letters go unanswered. They have since purchased and moved into a $2.9M home and I don't see any hope in her ever wanting to come back to my little townhome. If I had a gun right now...... Hoping to CBT at the local gun range soon.

How old is your daughter? Seems like reconnecting in the future might be possible if you can hang in there?

 

[tonytwist007]

How old is your daughter? Seems like reconnecting in the future might be possible if you can hang in there?

She is almost 16 and has rejected or thwarted every attempt I've made to reconnect with her over the last 2 plus years. This has been the hardest time in my life and I don't see it getting any better. Before the pandemic, we spent every other weekend together and I was able to counter her mother's lies and manipulation. Covid ruined all of that.

 

[Red Scare]

Heartache is mine as well... a stinging, painful ache, but slightly different than the typical.
The void in my heart is from the physical loss of the love of my life. I woke up to him dead and everything has fallen apart.
He worked himself to death... didn't even make it to bed. I still remember how he felt so cold.
Honestly though, he probably had a much nicer exit than I will at this point, but existing now is cruel.
Just the fact that time keeps passing since I last saw him is a genuine living nightmare that keeps growing and eating away at my insides.

It's the same for me. You really describe so well how it feels... it's like your worst nightmare come to life and there is no waking up from this.

It has been 8 long months. I miss him more every day, it only gets worse with time.

I've been to widow/widower support groups, grief counseling, and I have come to see the only people who "move past" this are lying to themselves. That is the only way they can cope. They lie to themselves, saying their love is in heaven, their love visits them in dreams, everything happens for a reason, etc.... I cannot lie to myself. I have never been very good at it.

No, this just sucks, and there is nothing I can do about it except take myself out of the picture so that I don't have to ever think about it again.

 

[sealbabies]

@Red Scare I'm so sorry you know this feeling so well... And you're right it feels like it gets worse with time because the last time I talked to him alive gets farther and farther away. I don't have the belief in anything after, so I don't have those comforts or delusions either. Everyone else seems to move on so fast, but I'm so scared of still being here a year from now. Just faded. Because that's all anyone can promise... "it becomes less with time" is not what I desire at all.
I don't have any thoughts that ctb will bring me to him, but at least I won't have to exist without him. It's purely selfish, but I don't care.

 

[Red Scare]

I don't have any thoughts that ctb will bring me to him, but at least I won't have to exist without him. It's purely selfish, but I don't care.

Exactly, there may not be an afterlife but at least we can still be together in that state, in death, or non existence. Seems like I would be closer to him than I am now. At the very least, I won't exist anymore so I won't have to think about it. I don't care if that is selfish, the fact is I don't want to live the rest of this life without him. If this past 8 months has been any preview of my life to come, then I want no part of it.

It's such a visceral feeling, I am absolutely gutted. It feels like I was hit by a bus... or rather like one of those phantom limb pains that amputees describe, I feel it in the very depths of my being. I am without the only person on this earth who really ever meant something to me, and who knew the real me. We were childhood friends, there is no one on this earth who will ever know me so intimately. After all we grew up together. I will never have that with anyone else. The life we shared is over, there is no getting it back, and moving forward my life has no purpose, no meaning. What is the point of life if not to be in love and share that love with another? ...whether you are a financial success, or someone struggling to make ends meet, we all just want someone to complete us.

 

[PigeonDreamzz]

For me it is. All my relationships went to shit. All my exes hate me. I did everything I could to maintain a good relationship yet somehow, something always had to go wrong. I couldn't find a reason to live for myself so I found it in others. I actually felt happy for once, I actually felt something. But now I feel used up and unable to love or feel something again.

Yes and the underlying causes.

 

[unlucky melancholia]

My heart was broken several times. I had multiple crushes (close friends) but only one so-called relationship. All my crushes friendzoned me. I'm just so troublesome and annoying so no one can tolerate me. And it's really hard for me to improve and change my behaviors. I'm probably incapable of maintaining a relationship. I was always too much of a burden to people. I know I'm very unattractive. I asked a guy out recently, he first said maybe but I screwed up the chance by pushing too hard and asking stupid questions. The heartbreak and self-loathing made me dysfunctional.

 

[Cathy Ames]

She is almost 16 and has rejected or thwarted every attempt I've made to reconnect with her over the last 2 plus years. This has been the hardest time in my life and I don't see it getting any better. Before the pandemic, we spent every other weekend together and I was able to counter her mother's lies and manipulation. Covid ruined all of that.

I'm so sorry. That really sucks. Covid has ruined so very many things.

 

[motel rooms]

Yes they are replaceable. There are like 3 billion potential replacements. How is it rational to think that this one person was the perfect person for you out of billions. A emotional attachment was created and this cognitive distortion took hold that this connection cannot happen again with somebody else. Look how many people lose the supposed love of their life to death and are able to go on a remarry and be happy again. This is a scarcity mindset that you can't go out and find somebody else who can fulfill your same needs and desires. Develop a mindset of abundance. We all know break ups hurt like hell and can hurt for a long time but there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

I don't believe in fairytales & perfect matches/soulmates, but not everyone is replaceable. We aren't all 13-year-olds who got dumped by someone they were in a "relationship" with for 2 weeks. My husband is irreplaceable to me. Very few gay men I'm attracted to would be able to understand, accept & love someone as traumatized & complicated as me. Not all wounds heal with time. Not everyone can always find someone else. Regular people don't have access to "like 3 billion potential replacements".

There isn't always light at the end of the tunnel. You'd think someone whose username is @PerpetualPain would be able to understand that. Develop some compassion & a better understanding of human psychology instead of dismissing other members' feelings/grief in such a cold, patronizing way. Most of us aren't fucking robots. Shove your abundance mindset up your wazoo, there are people on SS who are forced to ctb because of objective scarcity.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

"I love you, but I'm not in love with you"

 

[TheWood]

She is almost 16 and has rejected or thwarted every attempt I've made to reconnect with her over the last 2 plus years. This has been the hardest time in my life and I don't see it getting any better. Before the pandemic, we spent every other weekend together and I was able to counter her mother's lies and manipulation. Covid ruined all of that.

In such a situation you have to wait her time. If you stay with your breath on her neck, she'll move further away. Moreover, if she's an easily influenced and manipulated person, it's even worse. Show her that you're not like the mother says

 

[StarryStarry]

My daughter's suicide, stupid decisions, lack of money, no family, no friends, mean fucking people. I think that just about covers it.

 

[PerpetualPain]

I don't believe in fairytales & perfect matches/soulmates, but not everyone is replaceable. We aren't all 13-year-olds who got dumped by someone they were in a "relationship" with for 2 weeks. My husband is irreplaceable to me. Very few gay men I'm attracted to would be able to understand, accept & love someone as traumatized & complicated as me. Not all wounds heal with time. Not everyone can always find someone else. Regular people don't have access to "like 3 billion potential replacements".

There isn't always light at the end of the tunnel. You'd think someone whose username is @PerpetualPain would be able to understand that. Develop some compassion & a better understanding of human psychology instead of dismissing other members' feelings/grief in such a cold, patronizing way. Most of us aren't fucking robots. Shove your abundance mindset up your wazoo, there are people on SS who are forced to ctb because of objective scarcity.

My apologies if I offended anyone. It wasn't my intention. I'm sorry for passing judgement based on my own life experience as I too have been through some pretty bad break ups that had me depressed for months. For me things always got better with time and I was able to find new relationships that gave me the same spark as past relationships. Through experience I realized that my perception of this soul mate myth hurt me for a long time. I should have just shared my experience and not minimized others feelings. I know everybody has a different set of circumstances. I just wanted to help because I do think that ctb over the loss of a relationship or loved one is short sighted and a huge mistake but that's just my opinion.

I have an incurable illness that causes me unbearable suffering. I would gladly be rid of this disease if it meant never having another romantic relationship again. This level of suffering also taught me that I should have had gratitude for the little things in life. We as humans tend to take a lot of things for granted. Sometimes you don't know how good you have it until your health is completely destroyed. I wish everybody here the best, ideally a way to relieve the pain of life without having to resort to something drastic like CTB.