Is death only way out?

[fox_wannabe]

Kinda stupid question, but even Buddha or Jesus did not magically "ascend" to realms without suffering.

I cannot just simply become free of suffering without a sacrifice of my family relationships. I do not believe in reincarnation as something normal. I know It happens only to those who believe lies of religions and new age spirituality, and believe they are the doers of karma and they are guilty. I will leave my family behind but I will not take it as a burden, I know my actions will hurt others but lack of action hurts me and this is not an fair exchange. My family will stop feeling pain in 6 months, and loss will only bring them closer together. I will bare pain to the rest of my life.

I hope I will build up the courage to ctb one day. I bought Sn, maybe it is a method for me.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

It feels like it is the only way out for me. I will never be happy again for the rest of my life. My family will be devastated, but life goes on, they will get over it. I'll be dead anyway. At least this is what I tell myself so I can be prepared to ctb

 

[Bone]

My family will stop feeling pain in 6 months, and loss will only bring them closer together. I will bare pain to the rest of my life

ya i feel this big time. nothing gonna stop this pain train for me. i'm just barely clinging to life as it is.

 

[ClownMe]

I dont see any other way out, while im still alive I will always be suffering in some capacity.

 

[8evergo]

es ist meine zeit gekommen das merkt man durch meine eigene Intuition wer mit mir mit gehen will kann sich bei mir melden

 

[Midgardsorm]

The answer from followers of those religions would be that "God has a plan.", "Suicide is running away from the suffering".

Opinions vary. The suffering that many here carry is unbearable in many ways. Our minds and bodies are already on edge. Leaving the family behind is really a shame, but enduring the suffering for others would be even worse.
Those who really love will find comfort in the fact that we no longer suffer. Expecting us to live with our suffering is nothing short of selfishness.

 

[existtosuffer]

It doesn't matter what you accomplish in life. Death is inevitable.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, suicide is inevitable. I can't imagine myself dying from anything else.I cannot put up with this life for decades. I want nothing to do with life and life is not for me. I just want to sleep forever. Of course we will all die anyway, death is our true purpose. Life is essentially just waiting around to die. As humans we have the right to exit this world at a time of our own choosing. There are no obligations to stay alive as we did not ask to exist. It does require a lot of courage to exit this world. It is difficult as we are programmed to survive.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Opinions vary. The suffering that many here carry is unbearable in many ways. Our minds and bodies are already on edge.

I am pretty much on far end. I do not think that life can be ended only when suffering is too much. I am sure you didn't mean to say the opposite, I just want to show my stance.

There are no obligations to stay alive as we did not ask to exist. It does require a lot of courage to exit this world. It is difficult as we are programmed to survive.

Yeah and that makes me somewhat sad, But there is nothing you cannot overcome with right mindset. About 1 million people die of suicide per yer, I am sure I can join them.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Death seems like a pretty good option compared to dealing with a life time of pain and misery. The harsh reality is that most of us will probably never go through with it.

I thought everyone had a breaking point but you see homeless people out on the streets and they are still clinging onto a horrible life. My biggest fear is that I will end up rotting to old age alone and bitter because I could not muster the courage to kill myself.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I thought everyone had a breaking point but you see homeless people out on the streets and they are still clinging onto a horrible life. My biggest fear is that I will end up rotting to old age alone and bitter because I could not muster the courage to kill myself.

I thought the same but as time goes by I discover that maybe its not the case. Maybe some people will cling to life no matter how bad it gets. It is a terrifying realization that I may just rot a lifetime

 

[eternalmelancholy]

I thought the same but as time goes by I discover that maybe its not the case. Maybe some people will cling to life no matter how bad it gets. It is a terrifying realization that I may just rot a lifetime

After a while you kind of see the general trajectory of your life unfold. Sure it is impossible to know for sure how life will turn out but if you follow the patterns and evidence you get an overall picture.

For the time being I am still functional enough to work. That is probably the only reason why I am still alive. But you can't out run time. There will be a point in my life where I will no longer be able to function properly. Ending up homeless, old and frail is the definition of hell.

The worst part is that I already see it coming but am completely helpless to do anything about it.

 

[Snake of Eden]

The worst part is that I already see it coming but am completely helpless to do anything about it.

Me too. It is inevitable

 

[fox_wannabe]

@eternalmelancholy I wish I could go through with it. But to ctb you need to have fearless mindset.

I will have to do this automatically without thinking or I will never do this. It needs to be done without thinking because that is where SI kicks in.

 

[8evergo]

w wir uns zusammen tun und es gemeinsamem machen

 

[eternalmelancholy]

@eternalmelancholy I wish I could go through with it. But to ctb you need to have fearless mindset.

I will have to do this automatically without thinking or I will never do this. It needs to be done without thinking because that is where SI kicks in.

I think I made a grave error. I made a few attempts but wasn't fully committed. My thinking was that I would work up to the "real thing" eventually. But all it did was put my SI on high alert.

I think all this researching, practicing, talking about ctb has the opposite effect. The best is probably just do enough planning to ensure a good chance of death and then do it. After awhile the urge to ctb just becomes a monkey on your back that you learned to live with. If you miss a good opportunity to ctb there might not be another chance.

 

[fox_wannabe]

I think I made a grave error. I made a few attempts but wasn't fully committed. My thinking was that I would work up to the "real thing" eventually. But all it did was put my SI on high alert.

I think all this researching, practicing, talking about ctb has the opposite effect. The best is probably just do enough planning to ensure a good chance of death and then do it. After awhile the urge to ctb just becomes a monkey on your back that you learned to live with. If you miss a good opportunity to ctb there might not be another chance.

I think SI is to be overcome. Also new methods might take it buy surprise. maybe If I wear noose around my house or wear gas mask I will use for inert gas will make it normal for brain. Next time i will just have to kick the bucket or turn on the gas. It is of course all theory.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

I think SI is to be overcome. Also new methods might take it buy surprise. maybe If I wear noose around my house or wear gas mask I will use for inert gas will make it normal for brain. Next time i will just have to kick the bucket or turn on the gas. It is of course all theory.

I thought about getting drunk to lower my inhibitions before hand but apart of me thinks I will end up botching another attempt if I don't do it sober.

For every possible solution I come up with my mind comes up with counters to defeat it. It must be my SI kicking in. Maybe thinking I can actually ctb is another coping mechanism I subconsciously use to escape reality.

 

[fox_wannabe]

I thought about getting drunk to lower my inhibitions before hand but apart of me thinks I will end up botching another attempt if I don't do it sober.

For every possible solution I come up with my mind comes up with counters to defeat it. It must be my SI kicking in. Maybe thinking I can actually ctb is another coping mechanism I subconsciously use to escape reality.

I am afraid it is same for me, only successful attempt will prove me wrong

 

[AnonymousS]

@eternalmelancholy I wish I could go through with it. But to ctb you need to have fearless mindset.

I will have to do this automatically without thinking or I will never do this. It needs to be done without thinking because that is where SI kicks in.

Yes very true, the mind is very powerful.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Yes very true, the mind is very powerful.

If it can think of killing itself, it can do it. You just need to trick yourself into doing something beyond the point of no return. Like kicking bucket or drinking sn. How you get there is not important you just need to move through threshold. I am thinking about doing things and not thinking, when I think I doubt myself.

 

[littlelungs]

For me, yes. I racked my brain and tried my hardest for years (and in hindsight, at a great cost to my overall condition) to find any other possible way to get out of all of this, but all roads keep leading me back to suicide. When it all comes down to it, I'm up against a force that is a lot more powerful than I am, and it ultimately got to the point where I had no choice but to accept defeat so that I can go out with the last morsel of dignity I have left.

 

[fox_wannabe]

For me, yes. I racked my brain and tried my hardest for years (and in hindsight, at a great cost to my overall condition) to find any other possible way to get out of all of this, but all roads keep leading me back to suicide. When it all comes down to it, I'm up against a force that is a lot more powerful than I am, and it ultimately got to the point where I had no choice but to accept defeat so that I can go out with the last morsel of dignity I have left.

same, I am blaming myself for not trying hard enough sometimes. Yet I am here and suicidal.

 

[AnonymousS]

If it can think of killing itself, it can do it. You just need to trick yourself into doing something beyond the point of no return. Like kicking bucket or drinking sn. How you get there is not important you just need to move through threshold. I am thinking about doing things and not thinking, when I think I doubt myself.

Yes you're exactly right, do not hesitate etc The brain is wired to survive, however i know rationally that i need to just step off that ledge, maybe 10 seconds of terror. With alcohol though, even maybe eyes closed it's all over. I probably sound a little cowardly, but it's bloody hard when you're about 500ft above ground.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Yes you're exactly right, do not hesitate etc The brain is wired to survive, however i know rationally that i need to just step off that ledge, maybe 10 seconds of terror. With alcohol though, even maybe eyes closed it's all over. I probably sound a little cowardly, but it's bloody hard when you're about 500ft above ground.

I wish you did not have to step over that ledge. Well 500 ft is hella high.

 

[AnonymousS]

I wish you did not have to step over that ledge. Well 500 ft is hella high.

It really is, but at least it will get the job done. Thanks for your kind words.

 

[fox_wannabe]

It really is, but at least it will get the job done. Thanks for your kind words.

Do not thank me, words are really cheap :(
Yes It will.

 

[AnonymousS]

Do not thank me, words are really cheap :(
Yes It will.

Well i appreciate your empathy, as you probably know a lot of people just don't want to understand.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Well i appreciate your empathy, as you probably know a lot of people just don't want to understand.

Yeah, they do not. It is even scary to put yourself in their mindset of never seeing your suffering or never experiencing what you did, It makes it that much more alienating

 

[wanttodie]

yes death only way out for me.