Is being objectively unattractive + lonely a valid reason to ctb?

[lotus_pink]

I can't handle being unattractive and knowing that I can never change my face, it breaks my heart and makes me feel awful. If the answer is no that it's not a valid reason then why does it hurt so much? : (

 

[Sleeper System]

You're probably not as unattractive as you believe and even if you are i'm sure you have
some good qualities that maybe even someone good looking lacks.

 

[Dingusguy]

I think it's valid, but what other people think doesn't matter, everyone experiences and deals with issues differently.
But as a guy who also thinks he's unattractive, yeah I think it's valid, even though it isn't the sole reason I wanna CTB.
But being lonely I certain get, that shit fucking sucks

 

[lotus_pink]

You're probably not as unattractive as you believe and even if you are i'm sure you have
some good qualities that maybe even someone good looking lacks.

I only care about being attractive in the eyes of others, my own opinion doesn't matter to me. And others have made it clear that they think I'm unattractive and below average despite pretty much being at my max for looks. I do have other good qualities but I truly don't believe it's possible for others to look past my face to see them.. I get treated so awfully by my friends and I know they would love me and treat me so well if they thought I looked good

I think it's valid, but what other people think doesn't matter, everyone experiences and deals with issues differently.
But as a guy who also thinks he's unattractive, yeah I think it's valid, even though it isn't the sole reason I wanna CTB.
But being lonely I certain get, that shit fucking sucks

yea personally I can't deal with being ugly at all, it's much worse for me than loneliness and being treated poorly .. but that's just me. I'm incredibly upset over this. :(

 

[Wake]

Even though you might be underestimating yourself but aside from that the answer is no CTBing just because you think that you are unattractive is unwise their a lot to life than just beauty and It could be simple as feeling the air breeze through your skin. I think It hurts bad because you align happiness with feeling that you look and that is just not how it goes

 

[Dingusguy]

I only care about being attractive in the eyes of others, my own opinion doesn't matter to me. And others have made it clear that they think I'm unattractive and below average despite pretty much being at my max for looks. I do have other good qualities but I truly don't believe it's possible for others to look past my face to see them.. I get treated so awfully by my friends and I know they would love me and treat me so well if they thought I looked good

yea personally I can't deal with being ugly at all, it's much worse for me than loneliness and being treated poorly .. but that's just me. I'm incredibly upset over this. :(

I wouldn't CTB due to feeling ugly but everyone feels differently. I couldn't possibly know how you feel. I do want to make it clear that I don't recommend CTB I would never say that to anyone. Let me rephrase my answer from earlier. whether or not it's valid is not up to someone else, there isn't a scale anywhere that says what is and isn't valid. It's up to you to decide that.
I do hope you end up liking the way you look more though, that would probably be a much better outcome than to CTB. I much prefer when I see people on here make a change and have it work out for them. I hope you end up being one of them :)

 

[lotus_pink]

I wouldn't CTB due to feeling ugly but everyone feels differently. I couldn't possibly know how you feel. I do want to make it clear that I don't recommend CTB I would never say that to anyone. Let me rephrase my answer from earlier. whether or not it's valid is not up to someone else, there isn't a scale anywhere that says what is and isn't valid. It's up to you to decide that.
I do hope you end up liking the way you look more though, that would probably be a much better outcome than to CTB. I much prefer when I see people on here make a change and have it work out for them. I hope you end up being one of them :)

It's not that I feel ugly, others rate me very low and say I'm ugly which is what makes me very sad. I don't want to be lonely and ugly my life is very miserable. I get what you mean though and I appreciate it. I just truly can't handle this

 

[forced2live]

Yo, it doesn't matter. It's your life. You don't need a valid reason to exist, you dont owe anyone explaination. It's completely upto you. You don't have to inform anyone. Heck, you can even die if you were attractive and social. It doesn't matter. Your choice is the most important factor out of all, when it comes down your death. Nobody needs to give you approval

 

[Argo]

If you follow the breadcrumbs around the problems of loneliness and ugliness, I think that's where someone can find valid reasons. You can solve the problems of loneliness and ugliness if they were stand alone problems. There are many ways to solve them more or less meaningfully. It's not like the world is purely full of superficial people, for one. So once you find someone who would accept you, the ugliness and loneliness could reduce or go away, right? And your desire to ctb would disappear... right?

I don't think it's that simple.

I think what often happens in those situations is, the person who feels ugly, doesn't suddenly accept the acceptance of the other person. And this breaks things down. And creates loneliness in the context of a relationship you assumed would be the fix to loneliness. There are people who have been together for decades, who are brutally lonely together because of problems similar to this one. But they're together because of things like sunk costs and a fear that being lonely apart would be even more painful.

 

[Dingusguy]

It's not that I feel ugly, others rate me very low and say I'm ugly which is what makes me very sad. I don't want to be lonely and ugly my life is very miserable. I get what you mean though and I appreciate it. I just truly can't handle this

I obviously don't know you so I hope I am not hitting any nerves when I say this, because it's not what I want to do at all. But maybe you could try and work on yourself? Not to say you haven't because obviously I don't know whether you have done that or not.
I don't know why others rate you low so I will just take a few shots in the dark here.
If it's because you're fat (I know how that is) Then try and workout, it's intimidating to start with but it genuinely feels good. And it helped me and people at gyms are surprisingly nice
You could also try to dress differently, fashion does a lot to help with looks.
Maybe you have a skin condition, I have that. But usually there a balms or meds that can at least help suppress those conditions

I obviously have no clue if any of what I said is helpful, useful or even applies to you, but I wanted to at least try to be helpful :)

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

If it makes you feel bad enough to, then yes.

 

[jbear824]

You are probably not as unattractive as you believe. It sounds like you may suffer from some amount of body dysmorphia, which is far more common than you think.

Also attractiveness is entirely subjective, despite the "standards" society has put in place. You have no idea how many people out in public may see you and think "wow that is a gorgeous person". It also sounds like you are surrounded by a bunch of cunts who are clearly not your friends.

All that being said, no one needs to justify their reasons for wanting to CTB. I personally believe that your looks, even if you are "unattractive", do not lower your worth or value as a person, as a friend or as a potential partner. It's just that most of society has been brainwashed by porn, fitness, cosmetics, and the fashion industries to make people believe that you must look a certain way in order to be viable. And unfortunately the majority of people like to follow and stay in line with society's standards of beauty.

It's stupid. But what else can we expect from our dumbass, expendable species?

You are allowed to CTB for any reason your deem worthy and no one else can tell you otherwise.

I do hope though that you're able to find a little love for the vessel you inhabit. It can be really difficult.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Sweetie ..friends that treat you awful because of how you look aren't your friends...

Friends don't give a shit.

I had a long period in my life where I felt lesser than my " friends" I wasn't as skinny as them, not girlie enough etc.

Until I finally realised looks aren't everything. Sure it's the first thing you see, absolutely true. But if a person can't look further than a not " perfect ' face they aren't worth your friendship.

Btw. Guessing you are a woman, there are lots of ways to alter your face a bit with makeup . No, not for them, but maybe to look at yourself a bit differently. Sometimes I wish I was as ugly as I thought I was many years ago...


Love to you

 

[Leavesfromthevine]

I can't handle being unattractive and knowing that I can never change my face, it breaks my heart and makes me feel awful. If the answer is no that it's not a valid reason then why does it hurt so much? : (

I also believe it's valid. Few people truly understand how it feels to be ugly. Every time someone mentions something about my looks I die a little more internally. If I can experience that feeling and more I'm sure you feel somewhat similarly so it's justified.

 

[Gonnerr]

Sex and relationship is not everything, well maybe in your 20's or 30's but after 40's , its not that important.

You can find joy elsewhere ,nice jobs, pets, travels , hobbies, friends, etc.

 

[lotus_pink]

I obviously don't know you so I hope I am not hitting any nerves when I say this, because it's not what I want to do at all. But maybe you could try and work on yourself? Not to say you haven't because obviously I don't know whether you have done that or not.
I don't know why others rate you low so I will just take a few shots in the dark here.
If it's because you're fat (I know how that is) Then try and workout, it's intimidating to start with but it genuinely feels good. And it helped me and people at gyms are surprisingly nice
You could also try to dress differently, fashion does a lot to help with looks.
Maybe you have a skin condition, I have that. But usually there a balms or meds that can at least help suppress those conditions

I obviously have no clue if any of what I said is helpful, useful or even applies to you, but I wanted to at least try to be helpful :)

No those are entirely fair questions to ask considering you don't know what I look like. Sadly it's not fixable with the possible exception of having many plastic surgeries done, but I have many flaws and could only hope for maybe being average at best. I dress decently, I usually wear jeans and cute tops from trendy stores. I'm a teeny tiny bit underweight according to bmi but I have a very small frame so it's a healthy weight for me. I could gym but my body isn't the main issue, im flat but im much more concerned with my face. I also have clear skin so this is pretty much my max and I'm below average it's so fucking sad, I got screwed. my sister is much more attractive than me i just got unlucky. Rip

But yea the gym is a good suggestion but it wouldn't change my face which im sad about. But thank you so much for trying to help me I promise to look into doing anything I can to make my appearance better. I still need to try makeup and see if that salvages anything but I don't have high hopes. I'm sorry that you're struggling as well I hope that you find some peace and happy moments.

 

[Dingusguy]

No those are entirely fair questions to ask considering you don't know what I look like. Sadly it's not fixable with the possible exception of having many plastic surgeries done, but I have many flaws and could only hope for maybe being average at best. I dress decently, I usually wear jeans and cute tops from trendy stores. I'm a teeny tiny bit underweight according to bmi but I have a very small frame so it's a healthy weight for me. I could gym but my body isn't the main issue, im flat but im much more concerned with my face. I also have clear skin so this is pretty much my max and I'm below average it's so fucking sad, I got screwed. my sister is much more attractive than me i just got unlucky. Rip

But yea the gym is a good suggestion but it wouldn't change my face which im sad about. But thank you so much for trying to help me I promise to look into doing anything I can to make my appearance better. I still need to try makeup and see if that salvages anything but I don't have high hopes. I'm sorry that you're struggling as well I hope that you find some peace and happy moments.

Oh well I am happy I could at least try to help. And thanks for the good wishes. I hope you find something that helps you, or that you end up learning to like your face.
I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you end up feeling more attractive, better about yourself and happier! :D

 

[uselessman]

the world uses peoples looks to sell things, it about money not love. true love doesn't care about looks. think about the thing you like most about yourself and try to focus on that.

Here is another perspective. You have had quite a few responses. You have attracted people, just not with your looks. We see you as a person that is all that matters.

Honestly you don't sound like you are that unattractive. Look at some photos from people as far back as you can if you want to see what humans look like, you know models are picked what 1 out of a million? maybe more? and then they are still made up and computer edited before you see the pics of what everone is supposed to look like.

 

[DesperateOne]

I can't handle being unattractive and knowing that I can never change my face, it breaks my heart and makes me feel awful. If the answer is no that it's not a valid reason then why does it hurt so much? : (

I know people have probably said this to you a million times, but literally just hit the gym. I've seen so many guys that are objectively ugly, but when they went to the gym for a year or two it completely changed how they looked. They went from 3-4 to a solid 6-7. The confidence boost also landed them a partner quite quickly. The problem is that a lot of ugly guys roll in self pity for years which then snowballs into them eating like shit/not exercising which makes them even uglier. Go grind some weights, seriously...

 

[lotus_pink]

the world uses peoples looks to sell things, it about money not love. true love doesn't care about looks. think about the thing you like most about yourself and try to focus on that.

Here is another perspective. You have had quite a few responses. You have attracted people, just not with your looks. We see you as a person that is all that matters.

Intriguing perspective. Of course, humans are naturally attracted to symmetry and health and repelled by unattractive/unhealthy looking appearances but a part of its appeal is undeniably social currency, having a partner that is desired by others. I'm still very sad about my looks but that was very interesting to me.

I know people have probably said this to you a million times, but literally just hit the gym. I've seen so many guys that are objectively ugly, but when they went to the gym for a year or two it completely changed how they looked. They went from 3-4 to a solid 6-7. The confidence boost also landed them a partner quite quickly. The problem is that a lot of ugly guys roll in self pity for years which then snowballs into them eating like shit/not exercising which makes them even uglier. Go grind some weights, seriously...

I'm a girl and I'm skinny (technically a tiny bit underweight but I don't look like a stick) idk my body is good, it's my face ofc gym will make anyone look more attractive but my face fucking sucks it won't fix the root of the issue IMO if you disagree lmk

 

[quiet.rabbit]

Well I'm also thinking about CTB because of how ugliness has impacted my life, so I think your reason is very valid. It isn't even really about self-image, it's about the lack of opportunities and support that everyone else seems to find with ease. We're largely ignored unless someone pities us or wants someone they can bully.

Even now that I'm out of the race, it's clear I'm unattractive. I thought for the longest time that random strangers striking up a conversation in public only happened in movies because no one ever has approached me… even when I'm walking my cute weiner dog! My brothers on the other hand get approached as soon as they walk out of the house. My brother walked him for one day and the day after every neighbor knew my dog's name. They didn't before because nobody would even look at me.

When I go out with my family it's like I'm looking at a different world through a glass. Everyone smiles and greets them, not me. It's maddening.

You're human and you need to be seen. Not meeting that need would have a profound effect on anyone. You're not overreacting.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'd start off by saying attractiveness is subjective rather than objective. People go for all sorts of different looks. But- feeling unattractive myself, I kind of know that's a waste of time to reassure you with. It isn't only physical beauty that attracts, I think confidence has a lot to do with it. But- people who feel worthless don't tend to have that either- sadly.

As for is it a valid reason? I'd say anything that is debilitating for someone to have a reasonable quality of life, that they either can't change or, are adamant they don't want to put in the effort to change- is a valid reason in my eyes.

That goes for all sorts of things. Even the very worst illnesses we can have- you'll still get some sadistic pro-lifer out there saying it's worth them holding on for a treatment to be discovered. But really- plenty of reasons we want to CTB do have alternative solutions. It's just, we may not feel willing to pursue them.

I could argue that you could work on the things you can change- go to the gym and get fit. Buy nice clothes. I did the female equivalent once to try and improve my odds. You could try and put your attention in study, friends or a hobby and devote yourself to that instead- that's what I did and I don't actually feel lonely that much now.

Still- there's no guarantees in life. You may not think it's worth the effort and- that's your choice at the end of the day. It's you who has to put in all that effort after all. Really though- it doesn't matter what we think. Do you think it's a valid reason? It's your life, not ours.

 

[Groundhog_Day]

I have marfan syndrome, and am very deformed and unattractive. But for me, it's my brain that is much more the cause of my unhappiness.

I have avpd, which means I constantly obsess over being ugly, stupid and unlikeable. I think if I had my body, but with a better brain, happiness could have been achievable.

You could try Sam Harris' waking up app. He explains how the self is an illusion, and this can help with obsessive negative thoughts of this nature.

 

[lotus_pink]

Well I'm also thinking about CTB because of how ugliness has impacted my life, so I think your reason is very valid. It isn't even really about self-image, it's about the lack of opportunities and support that everyone else seems to find with ease. We're largely ignored unless someone pities us or wants someone they can bully.

Even now that I'm out of the race, it's clear I'm unattractive. I thought for the longest time that random strangers striking up a conversation in public only happened in movies because no one ever has approached me… even when I'm walking my cute weiner dog! My brothers on the other hand get approached as soon as they walk out of the house. My brother walked him for one day and the day after every neighbor knew my dog's name. They didn't before because nobody would even look at me.

When I go out with my family it's like I'm looking at a different world through a glass. Everyone smiles and greets them, not me. It's maddening.

You're human and you need to be seen. Not meeting that need would have a profound effect on anyone. You're not overreacting.

Yes it's so awful. I would feel so much better if I had someone to tell me that everything is ok and I look fine. Instead I get treated horribly and nobody cares. I wish people would at least pretend to care. For me I KNOW that I would be okay if I looked good, I know myself. But I can't deal with how terribly I am treated and feel

 

[notherenotnow]

Either everything is a valid reason, or nothing is. If you think that being unattractive ruined your life, then it's a valid reason.
I mean maybe my view isnt really objective as one of my main reason for ctb is being ugly, but I feel like every reason is valid and so is yours.