Is anyone trying to “rescue” you?

[Chasing Sleep]

I'm having an incredibly difficult time coping with guilt. I want to die- but there are people actively trying to convince me "it gets better", "we'll get through this", etc. I know it could get better, but I'm already content with leaving. I just wish I could convince my loved ones to understand.

Last night my best friend messaged me a lyric video for a song called "Rescue":

You are not hidden
There's never been a moment
You were forgotten
You are not hopeless
Though you have been broken
Your innocence stolen
I hear you whisper underneath your breath
I hear your SOS, your SOS
I will send out an army to find you
In the middle of the darkest night
It's true, I will rescue you

I wish I had the heart to tell them there's no rescuing me.

Do you guys have anyone in your life that's trying to "rescue" you or is actively trying to stop you from ctb?

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Nop, no one cares

 

[Chasing Sleep]

Nop, no one cares

)): I'm sending you a big hug

If it's okay for me to ask, does that make having suicidal thoughts easier? I don't know your full situation, or if you were considering ctb, but I've always assumed that having no one beg you to stay would give you more of a sense of peace before leaving. But that's just my assumption

 

[...]

one person that i want to rescue me but won't. giving them plenty opportunity but alas

 

[crxs]

Just myself at the moment, I guess that's the only person who can really save me.

There is no way to ctb without hurting people, I guess you can try to push them away, get out of their life's as much as you can, it will hurt less I guess.

 

[Zebedee]

A small handful of people keep telling me things will get better, but they're lives are all in order... Their circumstances are very different to mine, so it's only natural they're unable to relate. I tell them I want to die but thus far, I've lacked the courage it takes to ctb.

 

[its-about-time]

Had somebody who did indeed keep me alive for several years. I ended that relationship about a month ago and asked for no-contact. I could never keep myself from telling her when I was on the verge of attempting. She's had to call the police numerous times for them to take me to the psych ward. After my last attempt in November 2021, I decided once and for all I would never put her through that again. Now I'm not even talking to her, so I feel pretty free to pursue death without worrying about being stopped.

Nobody else thinks I need to be rescued because nobody else knows about my plans to ctb. My therapist is the only danger, but I assure her every week that I have no plan, no means, and no intent. Everyone else present in my life is under the impression that I'm doing pretty ok. I used to hate lying. I WANTED to be "found out" because I wanted to be rescued. That seems to have passed. I imagine everyone will be surprised to learn that I have passed when the time comes. It will probably seem a bit "out of nowhere." As long as I can keep my silence about this, I'm a free bird.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not tell people that I want to leave this world, I see it as best to keep everything to myself as we live in a world where our right to die is not respected. If I told people, they would never accept and understand my decision and they would expect me to suffer for decades.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

)): I'm sending you a big hug

If it's okay for me to ask, does that make having suicidal thoughts easier? I don't know your full situation, or if you were considering ctb, but I've always assumed that having no one beg you to stay would give you more of a sense of peace before leaving. But that's just my assumption

Not necessarily because I have a cat that I love very much and it makes me sad to leave her. And one of the reasons why I am depressed and think about suicide is because I feel lonely. I already choose my method and have the contact that I need.

 

[.............]

Some friends and people tell me it's going to get better and that I shouldn't do anything because I'm so young. These people attempted to CTB too. But I don't know, I'm too tired now.

 

[unkuto]

All my friends and people who care are outside of my country. I'm in incredible difficult situation here, in Russia, but they can't do anything because there are so much walls built both my Russia and sanctions making it impossible for me to leave and them do anything to help. Let alone "rescue" me.

When I'm going to use SN there would be nobody who could interrupt or "save" me, because I live by myself. I mean unless I throw everything out which is highly likely or somehow survive. But I'm 32 and I never had a good metabolism. I have both GERD and gastritis. So I hope even if I'll throw up the dose would be enough to end my life.
I don't want to survive. I don't want to be saved.

I'm really scared to cbt but when I realize that's the only way it makes it a little bit easier. What is like 30 minutes of fear and eternal peace vs decades and decades of decades of suffering living in poverty and hunger, trying to to survive? This isn't going to be living. It's going to be a hell on Earth. Even if instead of ceasing to exist I end up on other side where I'll be put in another world / plan or something I'm willing to risk and trade one hell for another to see if it going to be better.

 

[Eternity]

My parents accepted my problems and wish to die, over time. Earlier they tried to rescue me but I guess they accepted they can't rescue me. Only my psych is trying to save me but I told her to fuck off, so I don't have anyone left anymore. Yeah I got friends, at distance. They don't really care and don't know how much I'm suffering.

 

[S like Siren]

Do you guys have anyone in your life that's trying to "rescue" you or is actively trying to stop you from ctb?

I'm crying inside

 

[hopelessgirl]

Not anymore

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I hope not, because they'd just be wasting their time.

 

[fatefulstillness]

I've avoided putting myself in this situation because I know I can't tolerate anyone trying to make this kind of decision for me. Being "saved" or stopped goes against my will and if people can't respect that they need to back off. I've given up telling anyone.

I also struggle with guilt. It's one of the reasons I'll be here for a little longer. Ultimately, it won't change the result, but it's nice to actually be around people you care about and love them for as long as things last. We're inherently ephemeral, after all.

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. I wish you the best.

 

[Tristan]

Family despite knowing i dont want to carry on anymore.

 

[Huntfish34]

I have several friends that are but I've been ghosting them a lot. Used to worry about that but I really don't give a Flying Fuck anymore. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I respectfully bow Out..... When that final step presents itself. Fml.

 

[Chasing Sleep]

I'm sorry to see so many of you feel like no one would care, or that you aren't worthy of having someone at least try to save you. Ultimately, I do believe that only we can save ourselves, and that's the heartbreaking truth for our loved ones. So many of us just don't want to be saved anymore, me included. At this point, I wish I could just beg them to let me go.

Oftentimes I find myself feeling somewhat jealous of the patients I see in assisted suicide documentaries. In their final moments, they're surrounded by loved ones who have already accepted their fate. It feels wrong envying anyone in such a position, but it hits me that way because I know when I go out I'll probably be slumped up against a tree somewhere while my family and friends are still asleep.

 

[CommitSudoku]

I'm at a point where only two people can or bother with that. One is trying to understand but I've realized you can never get through the complete lack of desire and emptiness to anyone who hasn't felt it. The other is my fault since I sent them a drunken text asking why they want me in their life, and if they thought they could save me. I regret it since my desire hasn't changed and they do think I can be saved. Aside from that my family doesn't know and everyone else is gone. Eventually my depression gets to such a point that others stop even responding to deny it and my suicidality is getting to that same point. So at least in a way they'll tone things down and leave me alone and then one weekend I'll just tap out of life. I honestly don't know how to respond to a lot of what those two send so I'm glad the subject is quickly dropped. In the past I wanted to be saved and maybe I do now but in reality I don't think I can be saved, the same issues will persist so better to escape this torture.

Even if you tell some people you can't be saved, they might not believe it. In general I think it's safer to stay quiet. Probably less on their conscious if you don't say, but I'm too suicidal anymore to avoid it for any who remain.

In the same manner, given the point I'm at I know I couldn't save or rescue anyone even if I wanted to. So I couldn't do that for anyone else even if I tried.

 

[western_heart]

My girlfriend is actively trying to make my life more tolerable, and is willing to do quite a bit to help me live, but also says she will respect my choice.
She basically stopped me last summer, and supported me in working through trauma.

My parents have supported me over the past six years by housing me, I think they knew I was/am suicidal, even though I don't remember ever telling them. If they didn't take me back in (years ago, when I was 28) I probably would have jumped or overdosed.

 

[Bedrock48]

Realistically just my mental worker, we share a bit of banter and jokes at times and she always comes out with a line like "well it's my job to keep you alive and I'm gonna do what I can". Its quite nice tbh.

I have a friend who, although never outwardly expresses it, seems to have a bit of a sixth sense about when I'm doing bad. They always seem to know when to send a text my way or ask me out for drinks or something. Sometimes nice, sometimes is just extra pressure I don't particularly want.

 

[Acopia]

I have people in my life who would rather I stayed alive..
I wouldn't say they go as far as actively trying to rescue me though.
-A

NB. Also I love Lauren Daigle (the singer of the song you quote) she has some brilliant songs!

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Yes. It's nice of them to try. But it's not possible.

 

[painofzed]

I'm having an incredibly difficult time coping with guilt. I want to die- but there are people actively trying to convince me "it gets better", "we'll get through this", etc. I know it could get better, but I'm already content with leaving. I just wish I could convince my loved ones to understand.

Last night my best friend messaged me a lyric video for a song called "Rescue":



I wish I had the heart to tell them there's no rescuing me.

Do you guys have anyone in your life that's trying to "rescue" you or is actively trying to stop you from ctb?

People are trying to save me all the time and it's terribly frustrating. I wish they could just accept that I don't want to go on living and comfort me and I CTB. That's all I really want is someone to hold my hand while I slowly slip away from this reality.

 

[Salvation_]

I haven't told anyone. I can't confront them on this topic in the slightest.

 

[its-about-time]

I'm sorry to see so many of you feel like no one would care, or that you aren't worthy of having someone at least try to save you. Ultimately, I do believe that only we can save ourselves, and that's the heartbreaking truth for our loved ones. So many of us just don't want to be saved anymore, me included. At this point, I wish I could just beg them to let me go.

Oftentimes I find myself feeling somewhat jealous of the patients I see in assisted suicide documentaries. In their final moments, they're surrounded by loved ones who have already accepted their fate. It feels wrong envying anyone in such a position, but it hits me that way because I know when I go out I'll probably be slumped up against a tree somewhere while my family and friends are still asleep.

Yeah :/ my strongest desire is to have the person I care most about just hold me when I die. I've been so desperate so many times for her to understand and allow me to go the way I want to, but no surprise I get police at my door instead. Guess I'll be dying alone, as most of us who ctb do.

 

[ameliacecelia]

Yes and I'm not very receptive. My mother, who is currently taking care of me now, is sympathetic with my condition but still doesn't want to lose a child.

 

[EndofEternity]

Not anymore. A few people tried to "rescue" me, and it ended very poorly. In the end, they all gave up on me

 

[Nolan96]

No. Everyone has their own problems. When I try to cry for help, there isn't room for dealing with me, but for the most part i try to just avoid putting my stuff on people in my life in general.