Is anyone trying to “rescue” you?

[WearyHSP]

It would be really nice if anyone cared enough about me to try to "rescue" me. That's one of many reasons why my quality of life is so bad. Plus, I've been suicidal for decades now - situational depression, not constant depression, but also c-PTSD and decades of an untreatable illness. SO, nothing is getting better for me at this point.

It's harder to let young people go, for sure!

Of course it's easier to ctb when you're not leaving anyone behind who cares! That surely makes it harder for you.

 

[lonerclown666]

Only my parents

 

[Of The Universe]

Hell no.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I keep my suicidal feelings bottled up for the most part.

 

[medjooled11]

No, but I often fantasize about it.

 

[Arot]

I suppose having people that care that much is okay... as long as they don't act like those toxic people about how you SHOULDN'T ctb because is wrong and you're going to hell and little bit of this and a little bit of that.
That being said, no. I don't have anyone trying to rescue me. Probably because I try to keep it to myself.
But you know what, I don't want to be rescue either, I want people to listen to what I have to say but it seems like that it's kind of impossible atm.

 

[Avalanche81]

I mean are you truly not worth being rescued?

You mentioned it could get better. If you have that in the back of your mind why not give it a shot?

ctb isn't going anywhere. Give the could be better a shot, you won't know till you try.

 

[Weebster]

No. I wish someone would try. But I think people know it's hopeless

 

[LostAllHope88]

I think if I told some people they would, but I don't tell anyone. I actually stopped talking to everyone a few months ago, and I mean everyone outside of posting on forums online. I haven't seen an actual person outside of a few interactions with delivery people since November. I know this is beyond depression, but soon it will all be over and it won't matter.

 

[pleiades]

I wish I could talk about this with the people I care about. But even just mentioning suicidal feelings to my sister on the phone (with no specifics, no plan, no timeline, no immediate or even near-future crisis mentioned in that conversation), which I really just wanted a shoulder to cry on about, was enough for her to text my husband behind my back (because we live far apart), which brought up all kinds of trauma from him and a friend who got me committed some years ago.

My husband understands about psych wards now, and about intractable mental suffering. He didn't before. He's seen me suffer for many more years now and understands why I want to ctb one day. But he doesn't want me to talk about it too much because it hurts him, understandably. But at least he accepts it and can be at peace with it someday, or at least I truly hope he can. No one else accepts. One other person understands but doesn't accept the decision.

I really just want for people to accept that choosing not to exist is a valid life choice, to be able to talk about my feelings with people who get it and are pro-choice on this particular matter and will support and accept me whether I choose to continue to exist or not. It feels like I can't be authentic with anyone because I have to hide this facet of myself, which is a huge part of me. And this perpetual loneliness and lack of connection doesn't exactly tip the scales toward choosing life.

 

[Buddha.e.c]

Nobody at the moment but when im gone from this earth, they will try to late .

 

[watermelonsugaré]

I've got a lot of great people in my life, I have a great job that pays very well, my boss is my childhood friend and looks out for me all the time.
The best person in my life is my mother who has helped me so much over the years and is probably the only reason I'm still alive.
I feel very fulfilled when I'm working but I have too many health problems at such a young age that are making my quality of life completely dogshit, if I were physically healthy I'd never think about cbt to be honest, but it is what it is

 

[Tristan]

I have to keep my doors open all the time. At least my laptop is facing the door so no one can see what I am looking at. They think this helps. Idiots.

 

[Chiisai]

I believe so though I try to distance myself and keep things civil as I do not want them to be burdened with that responsibility nor to bear the pain of loss for I have already made my decision. I understand their compassion and persistence as they do not know that I and the situation that brought me to this is beyond repair.

 

[VoidDesirer22]

Haven't let it out at all.
If I can go by N then actively stopping that, in my mind, is harming me instead of helping. How others don't contemplate the agony of their final moments when left to fate... I will never comprehend.

 

[Chasing Sleep]

Everyone in this thread literally deserves the world I'm so sorry for what everyone's going through

 

[Of The Universe]

I think if I told some people they would, but I don't tell anyone. I actually stopped talking to everyone a few months ago, and I mean everyone outside of posting on forums online. I haven't seen an actual person outside of a few interactions with delivery people since November. I know this is beyond depression, but soon it will all be over and it won't matter.

I thought you were Leaving Forever!

 

[lili]

My ex boyfriend is the only person trying to save me. But he is my ex boyfriend after all.

 

[downndone2]

No one

 

[enau]

some people tried to rescue me, but they wished to rescue themselves.. at the end, they were not empathic or nice at all, and insulted me for not give them a feedback .Relashionship based on rescue someone are really toxics sometimes.. asshole are attracted to you, or sometimes it is just people damaged, like you, but with the whis to using you with no good intentions..ironically, people that tried to help or rescued me, were these who dug my grave ..im not sure it would have help, but if id had seen guenuine desire to help, i think i would have fuel/ inspire my need of justice, for seeing good in the world.. but actually no one cared, except for toxic or people that wanted something from me.