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H

Hope:-)

Enlightened
Jul 3, 2022
1,120
I feel scared but I'm gaining more acceptance of a more painful method. Hell some people can't even get sn so I should be grateful. Some people even say it isn't painful and is merely uncomfortable. I want to do it soon so I'm running out of options. If you're in the same position, how do you feel about it? I'm coming to terms with the fact that I may never have n.
 
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ge0rge

ge0rge

the satanic mechanic
Jul 29, 2018
659
like, everyone? but who s got thousands of dollars and the mental energy to cope with the police?
 
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TheLastK

TheLastK

You can just call me K
Aug 6, 2022
109
N seems impossible to get hands on, I'm thinking the exit bag myself but SN is probably the most realistic bet.
 
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Lily (Osako)

Lily (Osako)

Everything all at once
Jul 30, 2022
381
Yes. And I'm not sure why, but it makes me a bit nervous.
I have no concerns with N at all and definitely prefer it.
But with SN, every time I think about it, I get a little anxious.
 
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H

Hope:-)

Enlightened
Jul 3, 2022
1,120
Yes. And I'm not sure why, but it makes me a bit nervous.
I have no concerns with N at all and definitely prefer it.
But with SN, every time I think about it, I get a little anxious.
So do I. What's your anxiety about?
 
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Lily (Osako)

Lily (Osako)

Everything all at once
Jul 30, 2022
381
So do I. What's your anxiety about?
Just that something might go wrong: it will hurt,
that I'll be conscious the whole time,
that it will fail.
I know it's just my anxiety getting the best of me.
I don't think so many people would be doing it if any of that could actually happen.
My mind just goes to the worst possible scenario when dealing with something I know nothing about.
 
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1000winds

1000winds

Student
Jul 24, 2022
152
even if i could find a legit source of N, i dont think i'd afford it. i have sn and meto, hoping to get benzos and maybe propranolol nextweek if i'm lucky. i dont want to risk failing because of si
 
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H

Hope:-)

Enlightened
Jul 3, 2022
1,120
I've broken my ankle badly before...I wonder if it hurts more than that. All I know is I can't go on like this so I will just have to stomach whatever happens. I know the skin goes blue during it. I wonder whether the skin hurts too or feels numb. Things I wonder about.
 
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P

painlessvision

New Member
May 20, 2022
3
I feel scared but I'm gaining more acceptance of a more painful method. Hell some people can't even get sn so I should be grateful. Some people even say it isn't painful and is merely uncomfortable. I want to do it soon so I'm running out of options. If you're in the same position, how do you feel about it? I'm coming to terms with the fact that I may never have n.
I've come to terms with it. I just ordered my SN and am silently making my exit plan hoping no one finds out.
 
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Yavannah

Yavannah

Autistic & miserable
Jul 18, 2022
189
yes me
SN would never get through my countries custom
ti found a news article of a man that ordered SN from China and got in big trouble
its so hard to believe that D is the only person on this whole earth that sells N
like why there are no other people making business out of this?
 
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B

betternever2havbeen

Enlightened
Jun 19, 2022
1,064
It's my second option but probably won't do it unless I can get all the meds you need to take as I don't want any nasty effects. No pain sounds good but the other symptoms could make me freak out and call someone. It's been putting me off seeing other people doing that, although I think it's usually because they didn't follow the guide properly.

I'm waiting a few weeks to see what happens with N. I need to learn bitcoin and all that as well.
 
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Hiraeth Grimoire

Hiraeth Grimoire

Longing to answer the call of the Void
May 21, 2022
154
This is my lot as well fellow sufferer. Briefly, I looked into N and got too fearful due to either real or false claims of seizure, so I backed out and just settled for SN. I don't fear dying by SN as much as I fear what awaits in death. I feel very grateful to have access to this method, as I am also aware of how much more dire the end can be. I wish I could share my remaining SN with those who can't access it but are also planning on refunding this "gift".I am not sure how bad SI is going to be when the day comes, but hopefully not too terrible. It is an unfortunate state of affairs for us no doubt, and most certainly it is better to have never been, but I suppose opting out is the second best option. Hopefully, you will find more peace with this method if you decide to opt-out of the waste engine war cosmos zero-sum game deal.
 
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SofterSoftest

SofterSoftest

Student
Dec 30, 2021
186
Yeah, unfortunately, after having my N seized, I'm just not willing to risk attempting to order it one more time. It absolutely sucks to have such a huge sum of money go down the drain like that, but more importantly, I think I severely underestimated the psychological toll of getting attention from LE.

SN has also become my back-up once again, although I can't get my hands on N. My doctor ended up prescribing me amitriptyline for sleep, so I am going to be saving my pills over the next year to get the very large amount of the drug I'll need. I'm also going to book a hotel room for 48 hours and ensure I check myself in when my SO is out of town again. I have AE, but still need benzos (you need them as part of a cocktail described in PPH). I hear the cocktail is just as effective as SN and much more peaceful. You're supposed to go unconscious pretty quickly, but then it seems it takes up to 24 hours (sometimes longer) to die, so lots and lots of planning is in order.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,436
I'm leaning towards SN as the only thing I can vaguely imagine myself being brave enough to do. It still frightens me though.

Had gallstones a few years back and my digestive system is not good at the best of times- especially when I don't eat. That alone kind of scares me. Think I've read some people feeling bad just after the meto.

Honestly, just trying to order it frightens me. Haven't even gotten that far! Only briefly researched but some places seem pretty strict about only supplying to labs/schools/businesses.

Do you all just get massive anxiety/anger about how you're going to get hold of stuff? It got really bad last night. I don't know. Feels like I'm moving slowly closer to making a plan and doing it but at the same time, I can see this awful cycle going on until I go of natural causes.
 
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StarlightDreamer

StarlightDreamer

Infinity Weaver
Aug 2, 2022
110
I'm leaning towards SN as the only thing I can vaguely imagine myself being brave enough to do. It still frightens me though.

Had gallstones a few years back and my digestive system is not good at the best of times- especially when I don't eat. That alone kind of scares me. Think I've read some people feeling bad just after the meto.

Honestly, just trying to order it frightens me. Haven't even gotten that far! Only briefly researched but some places seem pretty strict about only supplying to labs/schools/businesses.

Do you all just get massive anxiety/anger about how you're going to get hold of stuff? It got really bad last night. I don't know. Feels like I'm moving slowly closer to making a plan and doing it but at the same time, I can see this awful cycle going on until I go of natural causes.

Quite the contrary in my case, though I can understand where you're coming from.
 
H

Hope:-)

Enlightened
Jul 3, 2022
1,120
One of the reasons I am scared to do sn is that I am sensitive to medication...I get serotonin syndrome quite easily and the method involves a number of different medications. I think I'm going to try the the medication out beforehand.

And yes I am terrified I will never go through with it all and will just be stuck in this life for the course of a natural life. My degenerative eye condition has destabilised...and a large part of that is my fault which makes it worse. It is now visible to the naked eye whereas it didn't used to be not that long ago. If the cornea continuea to grow then I am in even more trouble. I know I have to do this..either somehow sourcing n or going ahead with sn x
 
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The Abyss

The Abyss

Why're we still here, just to suffer?
Dec 19, 2019
260
Your skin won't hurt, you'll get fast heart rate like you've been running a long distance, headache, dizziness/drowsiness & got to deal with salty taste & likely feel nausea.

The cocktail of drugs is to minimise these aspects.
 
Insomniac

Insomniac

𝔄 𝔲 𝔱 𝔦 𝔰 𝔪
May 21, 2021
1,357
safe to assume that it's pretty much 100% of members who opt for anything other than N
 
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LifeHasNoOptIn

LifeHasNoOptIn

Worst Life Ever
Mar 31, 2022
208
safe to assume that it's pretty much 100% of members who opt for anything other than N
I would say this is pretty much accurate.

The only thing that would possibly compare would be the Exit Bag as it should be similarly quick and painless with the plus of not involving anything illegal but the setup is way more involving and while overall cheaper than N, it's nowhere near as cheap as SN.
 
M

Messgram

Meaningless struggle
Dec 30, 2021
202
I could save money and buy N, but SN is a much safer investment for me as it is much cheaper and easily accessible. I also don't care much for the discomfort that SN can cause.
 
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Lily (Osako)

Lily (Osako)

Everything all at once
Jul 30, 2022
381
Absolutely. I was one click away from buying N but started reading all of the issues happening with acquiring N and decided not to go through with it.
I have the money but I can't afford to lose it, if that makes sense.
I can't afford to purchase something and end up not getting it.
I'm shocked at how expensive and difficult dying a peaceful death can be.
 
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P

picklemick

Specialist
Jun 28, 2022
320
I think N would be most peoples first choice. Difficult and risky to get. SN readily available, slightly less effective, more chance of failure, and more uncomfortable.
 
_Alfarooq_

_Alfarooq_

Useless bastard almost making the decision to CTB.
Jul 24, 2023
291
I'm here going to do cyclizine because i dont have SN
 

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