Is anyone else totally alone?

[BlazingBob]

I come from an extremely toxic, broken family and don't have any relationships with blood relatives and since becoming sick most of my friendships have faded away. I could ctb right now and it'd be months or years or never that anyone would notice. I'm wondering if anyone is in a similar position, or if it's just me. It sure feels that way.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

not as bad. my family was always dysfunctional but i wouldn't say toxic. when i started my thoughts, i pushed all my friends away. i know i can still get in touch, have a beer and shoot the shit but that's pointless anyway, for what it's worth though, essentially, i am as alone as you. there were times had i ctb'd it would not have been noticed for months.

oh wait, the liquor store attendant may wonder what happened to me lol

 

[FitsTime]

I come from an extremely toxic, broken family and don't have any relationships with blood relatives and since becoming sick most of my friendships have faded away. I could ctb right now and it'd be months or years or never that anyone would notice. I'm wondering if anyone is in a similar position, or if it's just me. It sure feels that way.

I have my parents.
I had a good family when i was young, but then things turned evil and there was a lot of bad luck. but not from my parents side of the family.
Also i got some friends, but i prefered to live and fight alone. All the pain and bad-luck that i suffered made me like this.
How can you believe in frendship and love in this world?

 

[Silent_cries]

Am I egoistic for feeling alone even though I've never been abused and have thons of people around me? No one rly takes me seriously anymore :/

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

Not alone in that sense but I wish I was. My loneliness is that I have no friends, my family doesn't understand my suicide problems, etc.

 

[rosenwasser]

No, you're not alone in this, I'm *completely* alone also I always feel like it's only me also but rationally I don't think it can be the case. We could live in the same city, even on the same block and you wouldn't know, it's not like we have common friends to tell us about our respective loneliness
My case is not as extreme as yours because people at work would notice I'm not there but there is no relationship there. I don't have contact with my family, no partner and no friends. A few acquaintances but in the sense that we say hi to each other when we see each other and they don't remember me on Christmas and birthdays.
One of the biggest issues that I have with my CTB plan is the fact that I want to be a tree after I die but there is literally noone I can ask to do that for me and don't have enough money to give all my money to charity and ask them to do it for me. I'll just put the money for the whole cremation process and the tree onto some credit card and ask the people who will find me to please do it for me and hope it will work.

 

[Finalnight]

I come from an extremely toxic, broken family and don't have any relationships with blood relatives and since becoming sick most of my friendships have faded away. I could ctb right now and it'd be months or years or never that anyone would notice. I'm wondering if anyone is in a similar position, or if it's just me. It sure feels that way.

I can relate to this, my family is quite toxic, maybe not as much as yours and I also can't create bonds with my relatives since I live far from them, even if I wasn't I think it'd be the same because of my Asperger along with all my cognitive disorders, which is why I've never been able to make friends and never will, spite that I used to have "friends" on social media but have erased everyone recently, only keeping family and relatives, I feel that no one will ever know I died and if they do they wouldn't even care about it, that's how useless I am to everyone

 

[Ash]

I certainly feel alone. I think there are people out there who do care but either they don't show it in a way that gets through to me or I'm just broken.

 

[Silent_cries]

I certainly feel alone. I think there are people out there who do care but either they don't show it in a way that gets through to me or I'm just broken.

Same for me, and some of them don't take me seriously anymore even if they do care bc there's been so much shit with me that I guess it's just normal to them now.

 

[hadenough58]

Yes but it is my own fault as I did not make the effort to stay in touch with family and friends or even my own children as they grew up.
I convinced myself this was for their own good but in truth I was just a selfish bastard and so I am the cause of my own problem.

 

[Ash]

Same for me, and some of them don't take me seriously anymore even if they do care bc there's been so much shit with me that I guess it's just normal to them now.

I hear you

 

[Kalista]

Alone in a sense that I have no one that understands me or will not report me to the cops when I start talking about suicide. It's difficult for me to get close to anyone. A lot of things bother me these days even more about people's behaviors. Which probably means I'm mostly lonely.

Besides that, I do have some people who would talk to me at times because I stream while I play games. That's about it.

 

[BlendedHeart]

Completely alone too. No one to reach, no one to talk to, no one contacts me to see how I'm doing.

I know it's my own fault, but every time I reach out to repair the few relationships I had, no one cares and left me in silence and isolation.

I can't, for the life of me, make new friends. Probably the feelings of desperation and loneliness are very palpable and everyone runs away.

 

[Ephemeron]

I can't, for the life of me, make new friends. Probably the feelings of desperation and loneliness are very palpable and everyone runs away.

I have the same problem. I've tried for years.

 

[cjs0712]

yea
alone with lots of loan like c'mon

 

[ttg30000]

I completely relate - the toxic dysfunctional family .. .. my friendships have faded and disappeared .. I could also pass and doubt anyone would know for months . maybe year(s) ... I wish I could pass now .... life is like a prison sentence i was given at birth

 

[yan0]

Same hear, generally I do pretty good alone but there're some lonely moments. I miss especially someone for going through my thoughts on CTB, and of course I don't want the few people I care about getting hurt by my thoughts on CTB.

 

[rottenflesh]

i have a girlfriend and friends, im still alone no matter what

 

[F@#$]

I barely talk to any of my family. I got a couple "friends" that I know. The only people who would notice me gone would be work. Otherwise I could die and be a skeleton before anyone noticed.

 

[rosenwasser]

I can relate to this, my family is quite toxic, maybe not as much as yours and I also can't create bonds with my relatives since I live far from them, even if I wasn't I think it'd be the same because of my Asperger along with all my cognitive disorders, which is why I've never been able to make friends and never will, spite that I used to have "friends" on social media but have erased everyone recently, only keeping family and relatives, I feel that no one will ever know I died and if they do they wouldn't even care about it, that's how useless I am to everyone

I relate to this so much, I have Asperger's as well. I can talk to however many people I want, I can't bond with them the way people seem to. I remember feeling differently at one time, when I came into contact with another autistic woman. But she was much less deep into the spectrum than me and even though she could understand me, she didn't want any deeper relationship with me; she had her neurotypical friends and family.
I think I've recently met another woman with similar symptoms and tbh I'm sure it will be the same emotional torture again when I finally feel seen but know that I'm not wanted by the other person (because of course she is much more sociable than me, has a partner and friends and doesn't need anyone who can't even cook pasta without becoming completely overwhelmed).

 

[dragonofenvy]

No friends outside of some people I talk to here and there on discord. I once disappeared for a month and they said "oh honestly as bad is it sounds I didn't even notice." Fair enough I guess. I've tried to make friends but no matter what I do or how I act it never goes anywhere. I also maybe contact my dad once per month to every two months. If I were to die in my apartment it'd only be noticed once my auto-pay money dried up and the police came to serve an eviction only to find me dead for months.

 

[rosenwasser]

"oh honestly as bad is it sounds I didn't even notice."

I'm so sorry, I don't understand why anyone would say this. It's just so unnecessarily cruel.
My ex was sort of similar though, she used to tell me she forgets I exist when I'm not around.