Venting Is anyone else taking it literally minute by minute today?

[imissmycatsomuch]

My partner dropped an absolute bombshell on me yesterday. We fought for 17 hours over it, I cried and cried and cried and then cried myself to sleep only after finally managing to knock myself out with drugs. Today I'm literally just surviving one minute at a time, when I think about everything I learned yesterday I feel like I'm fucking breaking all over again. I've just been hanging around this forum and playing video games, literally anything to keep the racing thoughts and unbearable pain away. I just wanted to know that I'm not alone right now. Every single minute feels like I'm just fighting to endure it.

 

[PeaceSeeker83]

Yep. Minute by minute. I have given the preparation for ctb a rest and been enjoying a book. Minute by minute and then the day will end and will see how I feel tomorrow.

 

[ThisPartySucks]

i am perpetually fighting with the voice that sits in the back of my head. that one thats like.... way back there, but also behind your eyes? i dont know how to explain it, but its always there. its me, but it isn't "me." and it just keeps getting louder.

i try to spend all my time sleeping, or playing games with friends to distract myself. its... effective? but as soon as they all go to bed and im left alone with myself again, my mind immediately switches back to planning and preparing; mentally tying knots in the shoelace i'll use to end my meaningless existence. ive run the scenario through many, many times. soon, ill start practicing with the lace to get proficient with it before i select a date. all because i can't be asleep or babysat 24/7.

 

[imissmycatsomuch]

We're fighting again because he still has so many nice things to say about the person he basically emotionally cheated on me with. I'm in hell I'm actually in hell

 

[ThisPartySucks]

We're fighting again because he still has so many nice things to say about the person he basically emotionally cheated on me with. I'm in hell I'm actually in hell

for what its worth, you can do better than settling for a cheater

 

[PeaceSeeker83]

Minute by minute again. I'm going to go out and do some exercise and keep looking after myself. When I come back I might do some more preparation for ctb. I need to keep somewhat healthy during this process.