Is anyone else here NEET/hikikomori?

[Feeding Pigeons]

There is a difference in becoming a neet because you have disability, than being a neet because you can (like, when your parents are rich or willing to support you without judgment).
The last option is desired by most people, whereas the first one you are a Neet as a result of disaster.

There shouldn't be a difference, cause NEET just stands for "Not Employed, in Education, or Training". But yeah people look at you way differently depending on why you're a neet.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

After my first love at 18 years old crushed my brittle heart I become just that and been ever since because from that point on my life has been nothing but cruel to me. I graduated H.S. with no idea what to do with my life. After dealing with my mothers mental abuse and families willingness to cast me aside as nothing due to not being able to find work or being too dumb to keep a job,I quit life. I was approved for disability due to my bipolar and Anxiety/Panic disorder from the mental I am constantly under. I constantly feel like I will drop dead any moment and I'll be honest. would be nice if I could.

 

[Messgram]

There shouldn't be a difference, cause NEET just stands for "Not Employed, in Education, or Training". But yeah people look at you way differently depending on why you're a neet.

I'm not attributing any difference in what it means to be a neet, just why you're one - whether it's because there's no need to work or simply because of some disability. I agree with your last sentence.

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

Yes, been a NEET for 2 years now. I will forever be a NEET. I have too much social anxiety and depression to function in the work environment. I take pride in being a NEET, it feels like rebelling against the system. I'm waiting to move out or for my mom to die so I can take my life. I'm a genetic mistake, I have a syndrome. My life is so unnecessary. I have to suffer my whole life because my dad refused to use a condom. I will try to make myself as comfy as possible to pass the time. I lie in my bed the whole day with my phone, occassionaly going for a walk. I also like to go to the supermarket to grab some food. Sometimes I do hang out with people and I use social media so i have atleast some impact on people.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

I'm a genetic mistake

Over for geneticmistakecels.

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

Over for geneticmistakecels.

Never began

 

[Bleak]

Well, I used to consider myself a hikikomori until they started to gatekeep the term. If you have severe mental illness you don't qualify as one anymore it seems. I live with my parents and I receive disability benefits every month for several mental health issues. I am tired of living, and all I do these days is waste my time in various activities such as sleeping or killing time in my computer. I already have more than enough money for N so I don't even know why I don't do it at this point, I guess it's due to my parents, but I can't keep doing this forever. I am 32 and I don't intend to turn my life around, as shitty as it looks I will probably keep leeching disability benefits until the day I die (they made mine permanent).

Almost same situation here. I never talk about it anywhere because I fear people will judge and attack me.

 

[boogiepop]

for about 4 years now. i dropped out of community college back in 2018 because i couldn't handle it. got my student aid suspended and haven't bothered with the appeal process because they require medical proof of some emergency or otherwise exigent circumstance of which i have none. i grew up homeschooled and never had to exist in the real world, although i kept my interests close and studied them thinking i'd use them to leave my abusive family, when the time came to actually do it i failed. i realized just how unintelligent and incompetent i am compared to real, normal people with a whole history of school already behind them. granted, i'm lucky i didn't have to deal with bullying, but i had an abusive family anyway so every day there were arguments, fights, conflicts etc. on the one hand it's like i've been waiting for my life to start this whole time, but on the other i realize that i'm already 24 and all the good times, or what would've been, are behind me now. and i'm too daunted by what lies infront of me to do anything.

 

[gecko]

I've hardly left my house in the last 3 years. I had a job before that, but after my contract ended I didn't have any desire to look for something else. I have so many reasons on why I should ctb, I've been going over some possibilities in my head. I think I might be able to go through with something, I won't know for sure until I'm about to do it. I hope I have the balls to go through with it. Although I do like parts of this lifestyle, it feels comfortable having no responsibility and not having to deal with people, this positive gets cancelled out by my family reminding my how much time I've done nothing with my life and its a complete waste according to them. Do they think hearing that is motivating me to go out? It makes me isolate myself even more because I feel so useless.

 

[Chaestergram]

I was a hikikomori for almost a year but decided to work on myself and it was the loooongest process to go back outside, felt like it took me forever

 

[finalexit]

I wish

 

[ormaybeyoucouldchill]

I'm 31 and I've been an on and off NEET for almost a decade now. I live with my parents and get monthly aid for mental illnesses. I go out for groceries, medications, and walks so I'm not sure if I count as a hikikomori or not. I sometimes go to meet-ups to try to make friends or challenge my social anxiety, but that's not going well.

I don't see my situation changing in the near future, but I think at some point it will have to. That's what brings me to this site. I can't see a future where I'm ever able to support myself, so I'm hoping, when the time comes, I'll be able to end my life. Until then, I'll be trying different medications, treatments, and methods. (But to be honest, it all just feels like I'm stalling my inevitable suicide.)

 

[Ethereal Knight]

I will forever be a NEET. I take pride in being a NEET, it feels like rebelling against the systsem (...)

I love that. me too, I take pride in it.
this way of life also resembles some social movements like the "slow living" movement, the "tang ping" (lie down) chinese movement, or the "herbs" in Japan.

I've been a NEET for 10 years, and hikikomori for 2-3 years. it's okay.
it's great having time to play videogames all day, exercise, walk, do cycling, or simply look at the moon.
it's bad to have to ask for my mom every time I want to buy food or anything, though.

in theory I can become homeless at any second, if my parents decide it. I know them, they won't do that, but it's a possibility. if it happens I'll just CTB instantly, as my quality of life is already low as it is.

my country, Brazil, doesn't have the kind of disability system that USA have, for mental health problems.

being a hikikomori, it's also bad to not have enough money to do things that are sometimes necessary. removing mold from my room, moving to another city, buying high-quality food, paying private doctors... many things would be better if I had more money at my disposal (I don't have any, I just get food, free housing and free internet).

in the past, all the "friends" I thought I had were not friends, were just people who wanted to party, drink and look for girls, the only deep connection I had with a human being, was my ex-girlfriend, who dumped me. all my relationships were a failure, to the point that I gave up trying again, the suffering the relationships caused were greater than any benefits, their cost:benefit ratio was so bad that I just realised I would actually be better alone.
after realising how I superficial, selfish and narcisistic most "friends" are, and after giving up on romantic relationships, I stopped having social contact with people, deleted all my social media, and that was coincidentally more or less when the covid-19 pandemic begun, so there it is, almost 3 years of hikikomori, spending time alone with my games and my other hobbies, just being by myself. I'm so lucky that I got used to it, loneliness can be extremely painful, I'm lucky that I never felt lonely anymore, despite being alone.

I almost never worked in three decades. the only few times I tried, I fired myself within the first 90 days. I can't function in a high stress environment, it overwhelms me, and I feel resentment for being a wage slave (rightly so, it's indeed unfair), for having little time to live my life and be myself, and for making the boss richer as I get only enough to buy cheap food and dish soap.

my mental state overall feels lighter with a low-stress, peaceful and slow life so I naturally gravitate towards that.

I'm incredibly proud of my choice being a NEET, because most jobs indeed suck. if you're gonna work indefinitely at typical minimum wage job, then I firmly believe you'd be better being a beggar/vagrant, a gutter punk, some kind of modern hippie ("maluco de estrada", as we call in Brazil, which roughly translates to something like crazy guy from the road, someone who is a homeless nomad who sells cheap products made of stones, wire and other materials that they find in the street).
Those wage slaveries who spend most of their time at their job or sleeping, use their free time to eat, shower, cook and wash the dishes, then the clock says "it's time to go back to the job!" and they can't even have 1 hour to do slow down and look at the rain, do something spontaneous they enjoy etc... I don't get how they don't go full mad or how they don't see that they're being abused and slaved. it's so obvious. some say "oh, if I don't work, there will be no food", I don't know, I'd find another way, not this, as wage slavery is depressing. ops, I digress.

I could be more proud if, instead, I had perhaps learned programming and then found a way to work just ~4 hours per day and get good money for it. that would be optimal. I wouldn't work more than 5 hours a day, though. life is too short. most people who work too much, regret that in their death bed. I won't be one of those.

on the other hand, one can think that should be amazing having all the free time in the world and free food, but I think I have to admit that we, humans, still have other needs... like meaning, purpose, relationships, social contact, even high-intensity orgasms (yes, I think we need them - it's a necessity to not go crazy, to not descend into madness and despair...).
hikikomoris like me are rejected by women for many reasons. nowadays I could label myself as an incel, as I have zero social life, lost my social skills due to disuse (use it or lose it) and wouldn't be able to get laid even if I wanted to (not even in Tinder).
many of us tend to be chronic lonely and have insomnia or poor quality sleep, all this is not fun.
yes we can survive, even for decades, while being lonely and deprived of human contact, sleeping during the day and staring at screens at night, with zero real life friends, playing videogames and smoking pot, but this is not peak happiness - I had potential for more. in fact I remember how it is, not long ago, to love someone and feel loved, to have a sense of meaning (through loving someone), which is something I don't have any hope of feeling in this life again, even while this being theorically possible, I myself choose to discard that possibility of love, as I don't wanna be rejected and abandoned again, nevermore.
anyways, if we're chronic lonely, in poor physical health, living with insomnia and with no financial freedom, then we're not in our peak state... the positive aspects of NEET/hikikomori are real, but I have to admit the negative ones too...
I know the perks I have, being able to look at the moon, breathe slowly, listen to music all day, do whatever I want, enjoying a peaceful and low-stress life, but I also have to admit the downsides...

make your choices wisely, people. we pay for them later.

 

[Grey-zoner]

Not quite a NEET but have always been very close. Was unschooled by my parents from the age of 11 onward, and spent way too long in college; now work part-time at the age of 31, and back to living with my parents. Decision-making feels agonizing to me, one of my reasons among several for suicide--I don't want to continue wasting time.

 

[WonderingSoul]

I feel like I am, but I'm not sure yet because I'm actively trying to get a job. It's just that job hunting is so tedious, but other than that I don't go outside that much.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I am. Technically my "job" is to help with my adult autistic sister, who I'm an in home services provider for and do get paid once a month by the government for. Unfortunately, none of that money goes to me. I've volunteered to let it all go straight to the mortgage of the house my mom bought and that I currently live in.

Other than that though I do nothing productive I just spend all my time sleeping, eating, playing video games, or binging tv shows. I really wish I COULD find it in me to get another job but dealing with my sister leaves me so drained I usually don't have energy for anything that isn't useless.

 

[Belljar]

Not quite a NEET but have always been very close. Was unschooled by my parents from the age of 11 onward, and spent way too long in college; now work part-time at the age of 31, and back to living with my parents. Decision-making feels agonizing to me, one of my reasons among several for suicide--I don't want to continue wasting time.

I was "home schooled" /neglected educationally most of elementary. It's often a path to being a neet because you don't get social skills.

 

[come to dust]

I'm a hiki/neet wannabe. I work from home because I need money but ideally i would just lay down and rot. that's honestly my ideal lifestyle

 

[cemetorium]

Yup, very socially isolated NEET here. My mental illness, autism, and sleep disorder (Non-24-hour sleep–wake disorder) keep me from being a "normal" person in society. I can't maintain a regular job or school schedule like most people can

 

[Superdeterminist]

I was for ages, for now I'm not but I will very likely be again soon. I prefer NEETing to working menial slave labour jobs, but I hate it still.

 

[lonerclown666]

i been neet for 7 years now i will only get a job to get money for my CTB methods

 

[Seafoam]

Recent NEET, it's awesome so far but I can feel the pressure from my family starting to build.

 

[Grey-zoner]

I was "home schooled" /neglected educationally most of elementary. It's often a path to being a neet because you don't get social skills.

I did OK in college in terms of social skills, not great, but made some acquaintances and flirted with the opposite sex. Since making my half-assed entry into the workforce over the past several years I find it very difficult to interact with anybody; at college you at least were around your peers, some of whom had the same interests as you (and taking the same class), whereas work and most of adult life is a different environment.
But yeah, I was considerably fucked up by being unschooled (I would not call my experience "homeschooling"), and didn't realize the extent until my late 20s. No going back. Another reason for le suicide.
As a side-note, I think it's interesting how many NEETs are on this forum. I suspect the prevalence of psychological problems is very high with this demographic. I wasn't even aware of the term until 2020, after getting laid off from COVID, and realized it explained a lot of my 20s.

 

[brnggundottxt]

I used to be in my early to mid 20s. Got into a lot of cliché' self help stuff but it really helped me fight my way out of it. At one point I was even looking forward to being a wagie. Lost some weight did some online courses. As soon as I tried to put my life in order some dunces used there connections to ruin my life because their feelings were hurt!

 

[NSA]

I am one despite myself. Got disability when young and then tried to get off it over and over for years, only to fail every time. Now know that failure was because of undiagnosed autism/aspergers and ADHD as well as depression/anxiety/cptsd and now I'm just burnt out and sick of everything.

I would like to go out, try real socializing now that I know good people do exist out there, but what do you say when they ask "so what do you do for a living?" and you don't "look" disabled?

Just my luck, I'd be at a Meet up, talking, laughing, and sounding perfectly not-disabled, only to have the guy I'm talking to be my next disability reviewer...

 

[OverBeforeStart]

15 years living in a comfortable prison

 

[Arrow]

The only thing keeping me from being a NEET is the fact I'm in school, but I guess I'm a hikikomori because of how little I leave the house or interact with others. Even the people I live with rarely see me.

 

[deleted]

It's a little comforting not having to deal with school, work, socializing, meeting the expectations of people I don't like and etc but still living in favor with a family that treats me like a burden is also distressing

 

[Nolan96]

I was a NEET for a year or two and it was probably the lowest point in my life, but I do think it was better for me at the time than going massively into debt at college or taking the first job that came along even if it made me want to die. Maybe I'm wrong.

I've been a NEET for 10 years, and hikikomori for 2-3 years. it's okay.

What's the difference between NEET and hikikomori? I thought they were the same.

 

[Ethereal Knight]

What's the difference between NEET and hikikomori? I thought they were the same.

if a person is not on employment, education or training, doesn't mean that they don't get out of their room, doesn't mean that they're extremely socially isolated and "pulled inwards", "confined". hikikomori has to do with social withdrawal. we usually have zero friends and don't talk to anyone outside our home. some of us don't even talk to people who live in our home. some of us stay in our room almost 24 hours a day and just get out to buy food.
a NEET isn't necessarily like this, a NEET may have a lot of friends, talk to people, go out to parties, be popular, be social, have sex, date and have romantic relationships, even though they're not working, studying, training or producing anything.