J
Jumper
Student
- Jun 18, 2019
- 149
The pain in my back, nerve pain, compressed discs, muscle spasms, today was so bad I locked myself in my office and curled up on the floor to cry. Last night I couldn't sleep, it hurts to stand, to sit, to lean, to breathe. I won't be able to keep working full time much longer, and with that goes my insurance, my livelihood. I rocked back and worth on the floor, trying to stay quiet so no one in the nearby offices would hear, and prayed to just die.
I feel pathetic. I feel so weak. And the steroids and muscle relaxers and pain killers just make me nauseated, and sleepy, they don't really take the pain away.
You are not pathetic or weak. How can you focus on anything when you're in that much pain? How can you perform even minimally at work? I myself have a chronic pain condition and don't feel that I can keep up my current job (which requires all day standing/walking). It's devastating. Better to be dead. I feel you.