Venting Is anyone else getting worse ?

[Buddha.e.c]

Yes, each morning I wake up my life is worse, my depression deepens, my desire to ctb is greater. I'm very tired. Tired of living in a world where no one gives a shit about anybody else. I don't belong in this world.

This world is cruel and sometimes when people have big hearts others love to take advantage of you and pray on the weak . I agree with you this world is not a great place at all and its getting worse, Me personally I don't think I will make it... when I CTB ill meet peace .

 

[sad_gurl_thoughts]

Yes, getting worse every day. I am so heartbroken and alone. People say it gets better with time, but that isn't happening for me…honestly the pain and feelings of betrayal just get worse.

I'm secluded in my apartment, avoiding social situations where I might see him, barely holding on. Meanwhile the man who broke my heart continues to date new women and go out socializing without a care in the world.

 

[Ada]

There is no way I can continue now. I'm not even that depressed, this is just the logical thing to do now.

 

[ImsooDone1N]

Worse every day

 

[Wizard999666]

Yes, my depression is getting worse and worse. Existing is very painful.

 

[Weebster]

Entropy isn't something just outside ourselves. It's in us too. Everything is in decline.

 

[Idontmatter]

Yes, definitely. The suicidal thoughts won't leave my head. I'm ready to go so I can have relief. I have everything I need to do it. Just have to figure out when.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Yes. I "could" get on the COPIUM and not feel this way but what is the point of artificial contentment? We die anyways so why delay it if I am not actually enjoying my life?

 

[ornitier199]

I recently started cutting since my last failed attempt. Can't even call it that since it's not even deep enough to break skin.
Sure looks like it still. Since I'm still kidding myself everyday. I've completely given up on jumping from the gorge bridge, focusing on getting throat slitting right. VSED is just a an offspring as I continue failing to ctb.
I just need to get one good and quick slice in (I tell myself), like ripping off a band-aid, at least to make it easier next time. Yeah I know I'll have to suffer, but what's a few hours or day versus years of slow decaying worsening pain and watching everything deteriorate? Right.

 

[Squiddy]

I feel like I'm starting to. I've been crying a lot more than usual (crying now while writing this actually) and feeling hopeless.

 

[outrider567]

I feel like I'm starting to. I've been crying a lot more than usual (crying now while writing this actually) and feeling hopeless.

Still crying myself each day, miss her so much

 

[GaelenSinclaire]

Yep, I think I found rock bottom.

It's worthy of its own post, but I don't see a way back at this point. Fortunately, last time I packed a little "bug out bag", in case.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I'm useless. Hoping I'll expire from inertia.

 

[DunnoWhyButYeah]

Yup...

 

[PaperGodzilla]

I used to feel very anxious and i felt like i was on the edge like 90% of the time.
I isolated myself a little more as a result and now it's like i stopped caring.
I feel like a piece of shit, and i have poor hygiene due to lack of motivation to shower and clean, which doesn't help with self esteem

 

[Cryptonite]

Yeah. My chronic pain keeps getting worse and worse, week by week.

 

[Circles]

When I was at my worst I often wondered how much worst can it get. Like I always wondered how far down rock bottom can go. I'm not at my worst at the moment thankfully but I just hate to think I'm going to go back to it again.

 

[Mthom2]

Things are definitely getting worse for me now too. My car broke down, so I couldn't drive for a living anymore. No money to fix it. Ended up evicted and having to move in with my sister and her husband. I can tell they don't want me here and have overheard them talking about me. My health is bad. I'm unable to work a job standing up, and can't find anything that allows you to sit. I try to stay away from them, back in this room all the time. But understanding that you are not wanted is a horrible feeling. My kids rarely come. I doubt I'll even see them on mother's day. Neither of them have offered me a place to stay, after I gave up my entire life for them. It's sickening, and I don't think I'm going to keep pushing too much longer. My circumstances have drastically plummeted.

I went from an independent woman, ignored by her family to a burden on people who just want me to disappear. If I didn't have to give her husband his meds during the day, I'd go for days without speaking to anyone at all here. Life is certainly bleak and getting worse with each breath I take.

 

[ImsooDone1N]

Somehow things are continuing to get even worse even faster!

 

[Burner1234]

At the moment I'm stuck in the mud and just really tired. I see the mountain of issues I have to climb in one direction, the steep cliff drop into oblivion behind me, and the dark storm clouds brewing over my head ready to burst. I know life can get worse and I dread something bad happening to push me towards the cliff. Granted I can only control so much and just gotta trudge through as best I can for now.

 

[ejpikl]

yep luckily
hopefully it'll last long enough for me to end it
i've got a good feeling this time