Discussion Is anyone actually content with being alone?

[Anxieyote]

I've seen a few sentiments shared on here saying that some of you genuinely don't enjoy the company of other people, and would prefer to be alone.

I have a difficult time wrapping my head around that, because I have always craved rich and intimate social experiences. They are always something that have been out of reach for me because of my severe social anxiety, but I would trade my solitude for a solid group of friends any day.

Do you generally prefer to be alone, or does being alone contribute to your suicidal tendencies?

 

[Chockles]

I've always been socially awkward but never coped completely on my own. Either I was in groups doing active fun things the black sheep in the group but at least part of a social community or I had boyfriends/husband at least some of the time in my life tho I did need a lot of time to myself. Now I have no one except my elderly parents who I live with & it's a very difficult situation as I love them very much as they do me & they aren't coping well with my need to ctb but accept my need to die & I so miss having a friend to talk to or being around others as it's so lonely on my own not wanting to burden them & upset them further. I chat online on ss often as no one else to rant to now. Having become so physically bed ridden has majorly impacted my mental health too due to lack of ability to socially interacti I have lost everything important to me.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Username doesn't check out.

 

[feggut]

Yes I am. As a schizoid-narcissist, its by nature impossible for me to develop natural positive relations with other humans. I had to learn this lesson the hard way. Being alone for me is much preferable to the exhausting task of playing a character pretending to be a relatable likable person.
In my case my SI is driven primarily by self loathing and declining health.

 

[demuic]

I have always craved rich and intimate social experiences. They are always something that have been out of reach for me because of my severe social anxiety, but I would trade my solitude for a solid group of friends any day.

I feel the same.

But I've been alone for too long now, most of my life, I can't deal with anything else now. I only have one friend who I am really close to and I don't even have the energy to try and keep up a conversation with anyone else.

I am not content with it but I've never known anything else so I'm used to it. Anything that is a reminder that most people have multiple friends brings a sensation of pain. Even when I had a "group of friends" in middle school it was clear I was always the last choice and everybody else liked each other more than they liked me, and it's painful to feel alone in a group. So for that reason I would prefer 2-3 close friends at most.

Though it's unrealistic to think about anyway. I'm just too weird for most people and we can't relate to each other. It's true that I don't enjoy the company of 99.9% of people, but I still wish I could find that 0.01%.

 

[stygal]

Yes I am. As a schizoid-narcissist, its by nature impossible for me to develop natural positive relations with other humans. I had to learn this lesson the hard way. Being alone for me is much preferable to the exhausting task of playing a character pretending to be a relatable likable person.
In my case my SI is driven primarily by self loathing and declining health.

Most of the time I also feel like this.

I do enjoy talking to like-minded people once in a while tho.

I love being alone because nobody gets into my personal space and I don't have to think about someone else's needs...to fulfill mine is already exhausting enough (OCD, perfectionism, chronic pain).

They could send me to a deserted island (with Wifi) and I wouldn't mind.

 

[medjooled11]

Yes, I prefer being alone. I do not think being alone is unhealthful. Although I will say I crave interactions with people of similar values and principles from time to time. We all need rich and intimate social experiences. It's just that some of us don't require a great quantity of them. Quality over quantity, right?

Damn. I wish I had a good friend or two.

I would trade my solitude for a solid group of friends any day.

Modern life - culture, globalization, technology - is dehumanizing.

 

[Snake of Eden]

My isolation is result of my neurodivergence and so I tend to act weird and creepy around people sometimes even online. Not that I mean to, it is just how it comes off. I wouldnt want to be asocial if I had the choice but isolation seems to be the safer option

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I am pretty odd in this regard. I like social contact but only sparingly and on my own terms (and preferably with alcohol). I like spending time with family. But generally speaking, day to day, I want to be left alone. I seem to feel uncomfortable with people who aren't intimately familiar with me, unless I am tipsy and feel like networking a bit. But again, that's more the exception than the rule.

 

[FuneralCry]

I prefer to be alone. I am very introverted naturally and people are tiring to me. I cannot stand people. I have no interest in being around others, I need my own space. Everything that people do seems to irritate and annoy me. I cannot relate to people.

 

[MeltedJello]

I've seen a few sentiments shared on here saying that some of you genuinely don't enjoy the company of other people, and would prefer to be alone.

I have a difficult time wrapping my head around that, because I have always craved rich and intimate social experiences. They are always something that have been out of reach for me because of my severe social anxiety, but I would trade my solitude for a solid group of friends any day.

Do you generally prefer to be alone, or does being alone contribute to your suicidal tendencies?

I'm a metronome. Somedays, I enjoy being alone, but being alone for too long triggers more suicidal thoughts. In real life though, I actually prefer being alone forever. It's much more peaceful not having to deal with people.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

I'm paradoxical about thus. On one hand, being around people is mentally triggering for me, so, I try to avoid being around people. And if I have to, I try and keep interactions minimal most days. On the other hand, I HATE being away from certain people I miss horribly and will never see again. So....I guess yesno?

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

People exaust me. I need my alone time. But I would love to have company, friends, a lover, whatever. In other words, I don't know wtf I want.

Truth be told, being alone for so long, I don't crave company as much as I used to. Lately I'm somehow at peace with the fact that I will be alone forever. Cross my fingers that forever doesn't last very long though.

 

[arainydancer]

I used to really enjoy the company of great friends, but when I eventually lose them, it does hurt intensely. Trying to get back to getting used to be alone again now. It's a little easier to know I have the ability to opt out of life at any moment.

 

[needingpeace24]

All I know is sitting here drinking this vodka I just miss my ex severely and wish I could speak to her one last time

 

[irememberinnocence]

I think I could be content alone if I was financially secure and my health was better. In which case I'd get my own place and basically just hangout there for days on end with a TV, proper desktop computer, virtual reality setup, a writing desk, and a massive stack of books. Then when bored I'd go for hikes, try new places to eat, or travel. This would be my idea life at this stage of life. But unfortunately I'm bound to poverty (welfare) by my disabilities and not having family, and my health is rapidly declining too. I don't have the security or the health that would maybe let me enjoy life. I'm constantly in survival mode.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

For me l think it's better that l'm alone! I have my Doggy friend and that's enough for me! I've found over the years that 99.09% of people that claim to be your friend Shit on you at some point!

 

[Shadowplay]

It's funny this has made me think about it - I haven't felt lonely lately. Maybe cos I'm more chronically depressed than usual. What a blessing lol.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

I much prefer to be alone. Being socially awkward, I find myself walking on eggshells all the time. I don't feel at home with people other than my own, and performing mental gymnastics—so as not to hurt any feelings—is draining, to say the least.

I'm not one for small talk. I value my privacy and don't like opening up more than I need to. As it takes time to process my thoughts, it is not always that I can come up with answers straight away, and I'm worried of being put on the spot when I don't know what to say. In the past, not having shared interests alienated me from my peers, who often formed closely-knit cliques. Dinner table conversations revolving around the newest gadgets and latest gossip bore me, as they don't make for intellectually stimulating experiences. Having little in common with most others, I therefore find it hard to take a genuine interest in their lives.

And, as @stygal has mentioned, I put myself first. I would rather not concern myself with the needs of others. As such, my relationships are often short-lived as I am either unable or unwilling to put in the effort required for long-term commitment.

 

[irememberinnocence]

And, as @stygal has mentioned, I put myself first. I would rather not concern myself with the needs of others. As such, my relationships are often short-lived as I am either unable or unwilling to put in the effort required for long-term commitment.

Same, basically

 

[back_to_oblivion]

Content is not the right word. I think it is more like I got used to it, learned to live with it and accept it. I used to think being alone made me miss out on life experiences and really did nothing positive, nothing to make me grow. More recently I've been thinking a bit differently about this. Being an isolated outsider is a life experience too, and it is a very tough life experience. It's just the opposite of being a popular social butterfly. During lockdown many people had mental breakdowns because they had to isolate themselves, even though they still had contact with other people, just not in person and I realized that having my life is not really that easy. For me lockdown was just business as usual, nothing much changed, I handled it like it was nothing. It was something that my life had already equipped me to deal with. I think being alone so much has made me more independent and less needy of other people. I think I am now at the stage where I can go for months on end without having any contact with another person.

 

[LonelyBrazilian]

I feel lonely sometimes, especially when I go for a walk at night and see a group of friends or a couple my age. It seems to be something I will never experience.

I just accept loneliness tbh.

 

[CFLoser]

impossible for any person to be content being alone.

 

[stygal]

impossible for any person to be content being alone.

I beg to differ. Everyone's different.

 

[motel rooms]

I'm never alone

 

[Tortured_empath]

Sometimes

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Yes - very much. I used to get upset when others ignored me, and now I get upset when people try to be a part of my life. Originally I had the desire of having a very small group close friends, but after experiencing constant rejection and cut-offs now my only desire is to have no friends or relationships at all.

 

[CFLoser]

I beg to differ. Everyone's different.

everyone is human at the end of the day

 

[Lostandlooking]

everyone is human at the end of the day

That only means we will suffer. Imo it doesn't predict what we will suffer from. Lots of people suffer from loneliness. Some don't.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

but after experiencing constant rejection and cut-offs now my only desire is to have no friends or relationships at all.

I'm at the verge on being in that position. I have removed so many people in my life, but I don't yet dare to face utter lonelines. I cling on a few ruined relationships like my life depends on it. It's like a stockholm syndrome case where the abductors are broken dreams. My ability to compromise (when it seems that no one else is willing to) is very close to being overdrived.