Discussion Is anyone actually content with being alone?

[callme]

People exaust me. I need my alone time. But I would love to have company, friends, a lover, whatever. In other words, I don't know wtf I want.

Truth be told, being alone for so long, I don't crave company as much as I used to. Lately I'm somehow at peace with the fact that I will be alone forever. Cross my fingers that forever doesn't last very long though.

You have made comments about previous love. Except that you've written something that comes out of my mind word-for-word, I envy you for having (ever having) a success and the way you describe it briefly, it did sound like a real, physical relationship (not saying love, because love essentially comes to successful living together, having similar interests or just getting along).

However petty that sounds, hey, is an opinion going to get any worse or sound worse? Considering which forum this is...

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

You have made comments about previous love. Except that you've written something that comes out of my mind word-for-word, I envy you for having (ever having) a success and the way you describe it briefly, it did sound like a real, physical relationship (not saying love, because love essentially comes to successful living together, having similar interests or just getting along).

However petty that sounds, hey, is an opinion going to get any worse or sound worse? Considering which forum this is...

Whatever I've had, I've lost. And unfortunatelly a man can't live of the past. What is done is dead. Memories don't make it easier.
Even if you have it worse than me, I still wouldn't wish for you to be in my skin. You know why? Because you would be the one writing this message on this forum. Consider it.

 

[TimeLawyer]

As someone who chooses to have no friends, it is both painful from loneliness and a hell of a lot less stress at the same time. I was afraid that I was a narcissist and was hurting people because of that but at the same time I didn't want therapy (the concept feels invalidating to me and I am both anti psychiatry and anti psychology at the same time) or recovery and just wanted to let myself be as I am. I went on the narcissism subreddit and the narcs told me I was both that and a psychopath, and that it was an ethical imperative to have no relationships with anyone if I didn't want therapy. Their responses made me cry and lose it for days, and I lost it and cut off my family for their own good so their big scary narc psycho daughter/sister couldn't hurt them. I am human, we are a social species. It doesn't feel fair for people to expect me to live this way. But I guess what's right is what's right, no matter if it causes suffering as long as the majority is fine..... Oh wait, that sounds like Capitalism! *vomits*

 

[Seiba]

Yes, I've grown to be fine with it. I was homeschooled with my social experiences being only leaving once a week to a grocery store and sometimes grandparents where I would typically sit without talking much. I don't experience the physical sensation of being lonely either, and it's hard to motivate myself to speak to others. Though, saying that with hundreds of post might be a bit ironic. I don't really feel connection to anything I write much, nor to that of others and makes it hard to motivate socially for longer periods. Regardless, I don't think this way of life is healthy for the average person -- in my situation you get used over time. I was much more anxious at fourteen sweating a keyboard and very sensitive to rejection, now I can hardly motivate to even speak in a discord at all. I'm not happy being alive so maybe it shouldn't be taken as something to emulate, however.

 

[_unanthropy]

Not sure, I've personally always been very socially clumsy and have difficulties maintaining relationships with others, basically just mimicking what other people do when making friends and such to socialize but eventually slipping up. Maintaining relationships with others is more exhausting and unfulfilling than anything else. Not a case of being content while alone but more like being with other people causes discomfort.

 

[Bigpink]

I don't really have much choice other than to be lonely, there is a freedom that comes with it. I'm not sure I even know how to be around others.

 

[irememberinnocence]

Modern life - culture, globalization, technology - is dehumanizing.

This is a very insightful sentence

 

[Jacket]

I'd say I just got used to it and am at a point where I'd rather be alone.

 

[ReallyTired]

I'm very lonely. I wish I had friends. But I've learned that when I'm honest and trying to open up and tell people how I feel, they tend to vanish immediately after. I guess I could have friends- if I put on a mask, put on a happy face and tried to fake it. But I'm so depressed and mentally exhausted, I don't have energy to do that.

 

[SentientCreature]

Well I think it's safe to say that many of us here have had negative experience with socializing, so when the question is posed we have to either imagine an unrealistic hypothetical scenario of meeting a like-minded individual that we can form a proper relationship with or, more realistically, conclude that that scenario is so detached from reality that it's not even worth considering, and that we're better off on our own(which is what I do).

As someone who is quite introverted and withdrawn, the only way people could get to know me irl is by having an explicit and active interest in getting to know me, but I find that somewhat repulsive as it usually means that there's not much similarity between us.

But how do two asocial, introverted semi-misanthropes meet? That's right, they don't.

(I actually had a friend on this forum once, but he committed suicide in March. RIP @262653)