Is anybody familiar with limerence?

[KettleKorn]

It's most of the reason why I want to ctb so bad. A year ago, someone came into my life who I had a fling with, but I attached too quickly. Those few months were the best of my life, I thought he loved me, and I was head over heels. He cut contact and moved cities about 3 months after we started seeing each other, causing me to spiral, trying to figure out what I did wrong and how to get him back. He did come back, but only as a friend. I went to see him in his new city but my delusions were still intact and they confused and disgusted him. I couldn't express how hurt I felt in the entire process so I blew up on him, he said it was on me and kicked me out of his house.

Fast forward half a year later, he's still on my mind, but as a reminder that I'll never feel that strongly for anyone again. I spend my days thinking of apologies about my advancements and how shit my life is compared to his extravagant extroverted lifestyle. I won't amount to anything unless I talk to him again, I really do think him loving me back will save my life. I don't see any other way out of this at the moment.

 

[Source Energy]

Extroverted lifestyle would be a strong deterrent from the beginning for the introverted me. I used to date extroverted guys. It never worked out. They expect you to completely change yourself, criticize how you're wired as if there was something wrong with you, destroy your confidence with comparisons and generally drain you by making you socialize past your battery level. For me, that's an instant killer, no matter how hot a guy looks.

Even if you do get him back, it's not gonna work out. I'd say let him go. You will never be happy in his world. From one introvert to another. Hugs.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes- all I've ever really known is limerance I think. All unrequited, obsessive crushes. 4 in total- by then, I'd learned my lesson and discovered the term. Now- I'm really mindful when I feel myself falling for someone. It was such a messed up mind state for me.

 

[borderline-feline]

I'm quite familiar. I have borderline personality disorder, and becoming obsessive over a person is a common thing among people with the disorder. I idolize people and put them on a pedestal, only to end up splitting later on when the illusion is shattered. Sometimes I get scared that that might happen with my favorite person or that I might end up pushing him away from me with how much I'm obsessed with him.

 

[N33dT0D13]

Same. It's the defining pattern of relationships in my adult life. Meet someone, befriend them, attach way too hard way too quick, become crushed when they leave or act even slightly different towards me as I obsess over what I could've done wrong this time to push them away. It doesn't help that my instinct is to either shut up and let the resentment grow until I have to leave because they won't pick up on my feelings (as if they could read my mind because I'm impossible and expect too much out of those unfortunate enough to end up in my life) or I start seeking reassurance from them so hard that they eventually just cut their losses and leave (not that I blame them, it's easily the best option when dealing with me).