Introduction

[sserafim]

Hey everyone, I'm a new member of this site. I'm a 22 year old, well 23 now, F, and I just feel so lost in life. After graduating from college last year, my life has been in shambles as I try to figure out my meaning and purpose, as well as my way in life. There's nothing I would want to do for a living, and the thought of having to work a 9-5, or even having to work at all (for 40 years until I die), terrifies me.

After we graduate and enter the real world, we just work until we die. We live to work and we work to live. This just seems so unfulfilling and meaningless to me. I don't want to have to live like this for the rest of my life. I hate that we're all trapped in this system which we can't escape from. We're all trapped in the matrix with no way out except death.

I hate the state of our current capitalist society and wish it didn't have to be like this. People shouldn't have to be chained to a job for the rest of their lives. We should be able to have the freedom to live our lives the way we want. I feel like becoming an adult is the biggest scam. We're just all slaves to our corporate overlords, slaving away as they get richer and richer.

Ever since I was young, I never wanted to grow up. When people asked me what I wanted to be, I never had a good answer because I never saw or envisioned myself growing up or getting older. I really thought I would never live past 18, but I'm 23 now. I don't want to live past 25. That's my exit point I've set for myself. I don't know why we have to get older and older with each passing year, and why time has to go on forward. I still feel stuck in the past and I reminisce about when things were easier. I don't think my future will be better. I'm already a failure at such a young age. My future will only be worse. And honestly, I don't see myself living past 25.

 

[Darkover]

i've always said your all a bunch of slaves this isn't want freedom looks like

 

[sserafim]

Literally. People think they have freedom but it's just an illusion

 

[doomedtoroam]

I do feel a similar way... I don't even have a diploma from college and i think i'm freaking out. My family wants me to have one but i don't know if i'm strong enough to go through three years of studies again like my siblings.. i have nothing that drives me forward anymore. Plus being guided all my life makes it hard when i finally have to take a decision.. ^^

 

[d3j3ct3dl0s3r05]

Yeah I get what you mean and it's why I've made the decision to delay uni until I find some sense of purpose in life.

 

[sserafim]

It's good to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way, and that I'm not alone. I hope you figure out what works for you! College was rough, but I definitely prefer it to the real world. The fact that the world is your oyster, and that there are so many options, is both a blessing and a curse. You can be whatever you want to be. But what if you make the wrong choice? I'm scared of committing to something because I'm scared that I'll make the wrong decision. I think I'm in a state of analysis paralysis right now. There are so many options, how do I choose the best one?

I totally understand your thing about guidance. Throughout my whole life, my parents wanted me to be a doctor (although this wasn't my dream). In high school, I took science classes to prepare for premed classes in college. I entered college as a premed and thought that I would end up on that path, because my parents encouraged me to go to medical school to be a doctor. But later on, I realized it wasn't for me. Also, I think it was so funny that I was committed to the idea of being a doctor because I never even had any clinical experience or shadowing. I didn't even know what being a doctor was like. I had only ever done research. It's too late though, because now I'm stuck with a useless degree that doesn't translate to anything.

I would say that before you enter college, have an idea of what you want to do but also be willing to try new things and explore different fields and areas of study, and expand your horizons. I was set on being a certain major because it was what I had the most exposure to due to high school, and I thought it would be the best for med school. I was so caught up in it that I didn't allow myself to explore other options until it was too late. I really enjoyed my computer science and data science classes but I took them too late during my college career and so I couldn't switch my major, and graduated with a useless degree. It's really worthless for anything other than med or grad school (both of which I don't want to do). Ugh. I wish I did better research about college and choosing a major.

I feel like other people have it together. I see people on LinkedIn posting about their careers and advancing in life, and I wonder, how do you put up with this? Why are you content with being another cog in the system? I don't know how people just accept the absurdity of life. I feel like life after college is just so meaningless. I wish we could find our purpose in life. I also wish there could be someone to give us direction and point us in a path that we would be best suited for. My parents pushed me to go to med school even tho I'm an introvert who has social anxiety and adhd (lol idk why they wanted me to go to med school so bad). Yeah sorry for the rant but tldr: have a plan but also be willing to try new things is the advice I would give. Hope this helps~

 

[not_telling]

I'm so sorry you have to go through that. It is fact that working is imposed as the only option to humans because of our capitalistic society, uncaring of the people who don't want to do that. I was stuck in that mindset without knowing what to do with my life for some time, and then I was just going to college because family required that from me, to perform a job I hate to live a life I don't care for. But fuck it, I decided to try for a public med school, I know I probably can't get in and I'll just end up a disappointment who didn't make it, but really being a doctor is the only thing I can think that could possibly make me happy, and I don't even know that for sure. It's a last stand for my happiness. A small chance that I'll be happy. If not, I just come back and keep trying to find my own stop out of existence. I hope you can find some sort of peace in you life OP, or at least in the end of it. May you have a relaxed ride there, if so.

 

[sserafim]

Yeah, I definitely agree about it being a systematic thing. I wish that capitalism could be overthrown already. But even the people working aren't happy. I see so many people complaining about their jobs and how monotonous life is, and how they're living paycheck to paycheck and don't have the money to pay their bills. I hate the fact that existence costs money. None of us chose to be here but we have to pay to be here. I just think this is so absurd.

I think that it's a widespread late-stage capitalism thing. Hopefully people wake up and realize that life isn't meant to be like this. I want there to be a revolution and paradigm shift in society. I want society to change for the better and the capitalists/corporations to stop exploiting the workers and people. I hate how the poor get poorer while the rich get richer. I hate how sick our society is. But I also hate how so many people think that's it's fine to be this way. I wish more people would question it. Do things have to be like this? I'm surprised that no one has (or very few have) tried to change things for the better.

I'm glad that you've found what makes you happy. I say go for it. Shoot for the moon, even if you fall you'll land among the stars, right? Life is too short so don't have any regrets.

And thanks. Honestly I just want to travel and see the world. There are still so many other countries I want to go to before I die…

 

[SexyIncél]

Yeah, "adulthood" is ridiculous. So are wageslavery cults that eat your life. People (like Keynes) assumed we'd have — at most — 15 hr workweeks by now

A few people envision & fight for a saner world. The most fleshed-out vision I know is Participatory Economics. We can imagine other visions, with strategies/tactics to move the world to them

It's hilarious — many are stuck in bullshit jobs, where they pretend to be busy all week. Effectively paid to be surveilled half their waking lives

I feel like other people have it together. I see people on LinkedIn posting about their careers and advancing in life, and I wonder, how do you put up with this? Why are you content with being another cog in the system? I don't know how people just accept the absurdity of life.

One book explaining this phenomenon is "Disciplined Minds: A Critical Look at Salaried Professionals and the Soul-battering System That Shapes Their Lives"

People's linkedins & instagrams are typically illusions, at the public interface to their relentlessly dull lives. They repeatedly chant "I have passion for [wageslave thing]", like cultists in corporate secret societies that bind their mouths

 

[FuneralCry]

It's really understandable just wishing to be free from this dreadful and pointless existence, I wish you the best with your plans.