nowuseeme-nowudont

nowuseeme-nowudont

New Member
Jun 3, 2023
3
First of all, i would like to introduce myself.

Hello, yes, you can see my username, but i can go by 'Sandie' and other variants.
I first stumbled upon this site through the infamous YouTube video, as i am sure a lot of other people here have. Nevertheless, i don't condemn anyone by me being here, since even if that video never existed, i think that i would've still joined this community.
That out of the way, here's my opening statement:
'I don't wanna keep delaying the unevitable.'
I'm pretty aware that i have a similar mindset to everyone else on this platform, though i hold little shame to that, but would like to dwelve deeper into detail as to why i feel the way i do.
That's also not the only reason i came here specifically. The second reason is to be vulnerable, as i cannot anywhere else (at home, school, online) or with anyone else (my mom, my dad, my brother, my cousin, therapists, etc.). I want a chance to speak and do so on my own accord. I'll be discussing and monitoring issues and aspects of my life and brain that i have never exposed, not even to an empty room. I don't expect comfort or newfound friendships, since i know that i'm not gonna get any. What i do expect is an audience. A silent one at least... and assistance. Just some, not much.
I want this to be a short post, since this is just the first. Just some more details about me:
I am a 15 year old girl, turning 16 in August, i live in a pretty corupt/poor country (its between Romania and Ukraine, google it if it interests you), I'm a writer and am working on my very own web-series ( which i could hopefully finish before i go), i have some unidentified troubles with my brain (i suspect i'm neurodivergent, if i'm not, then my brain's still all scrambles nonetheless) and i struggle imensly with my body (i'll dwelve deeper into that in the future), i'm perceived as very socially repulsive by others and i struggle to form any sort of conection aside from the people forced to interact with me everyday, have trouble sleeping (lately since summer started, i've been crying myself to sleep most nights) and, for anyone's interest - i am a lesbian (it's not a problem for me, I don't really have any internal issues with it, it's just one more detail to the pile).

Well, that's it for now. Nice to spill my guts here, maybe i'll do it again.

Peace out. Way out.✌
 
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H

HerculePoirot

(Frozen account)
Sep 25, 2022
743
Hi. I'm afraid you will be banned, because of your age. Be courageous (I know you are)
 
nowuseeme-nowudont

nowuseeme-nowudont

New Member
Jun 3, 2023
3
Hi. I'm afraid you will be banned, because of your age. Be courageous (I know you are)
Thank you. But I'll go out somehow. I just don't wanna do it silently.
 
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Reactions: HerculePoirot
Jeux D'eau

Jeux D'eau

Member
Apr 15, 2023
12
Well... Nice knowing you. I hope you'll get better.
 
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Reactions: nowuseeme-nowudont
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,945
It's sad how the OP isn't allowed to vent about their suffering on this site as everyone suffers no matter the age, people deserve a place to be open about wanting to die. I wish them the best.
 

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