Intro / SN CTB

[Mental_Pain]

First time poster, long time lurker etc..

I would like to ask one or two of you for your help in return for my future experience of CTB with SN.

I'm considering asking one of you to help document my CTB. I do not wish for any sort of recognition but I think it would be good to have a full experience thread from beginning to end including confirmation. I will answer any questions as honestly and thoroughly as I can.

Secondly, I would like some help with details of SN sources in the UK. I have easy access to many types of gases but have decided that SN would be better for me. I know that I cannot PM people until approved to do so, I expect I will have found a source before I'm allowed to PM but we'll see!

My story is a relatively simple one. I'm a relatively simple person.

I'm a 40 something year old male based in in Surrey, UK. I have been unable to get over a loss I suffered over a year ago. It is now time for me to CTB in order to relieve the pain that each day brings.

I have a few very good friends IRL but all of them wish to help fix me. I am extremely grateful to them but that's not what I want or am able to do.

Hopefully that's a good enough introduction. Maybe I can get to know some of you through this process, it's difficult to find people to discuss this with in real life.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not know anything about SN, as it is not my method, but I'm sorry that you are suffering, it must be so devastating experiencing loss. I wish you the best in whatever happens and I hope you find relief from your pain.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I'm not sure if documenting your suicide is legal.

 

[Mental_Pain]

Interesting thought, thank you. I'll look into it.

 

[Shu]

I'm not sure if documenting your suicide is legal.

There have been many of people who spoke over the phone with someone while they were going through the experience and documented it.

 

[Smart No More]

Somebody did it here with N. Two guys at the same time actually. @shevan and I forget the other member. Its definitely a legal grey area. I mean you can film it yourself and live stream it to a private group. Have one or more of them record it from the stream. I don't know what the law is on that but my instinct says it's more of a moral issue. I think it's very valuable to have documented accounts of these things. It's not necessarily encouraging. In fact it could well put people off. The truth is important whichever side of the fence it falls on. I respect you for considering this. It's something I would struggle with. If you're leaving loved ones behind please keep in mind the impact it may have on them.

 

[outrider567]

First time poster, long time lurker etc..

I would like to ask one or two of you for your help in return for my future experience of CTB with SN.

I'm considering asking one of you to help document my CTB. I do not wish for any sort of recognition but I think it would be good to have a full experience thread from beginning to end including confirmation. I will answer any questions as honestly and thoroughly as I can.

Secondly, I would like some help with details of SN sources in the UK. I have easy access to many types of gases but have decided that SN would be better for me. I know that I cannot PM people until approved to do so, I expect I will have found a source before I'm allowed to PM but we'll see!

My story is a relatively simple one. I'm a relatively simple person.

I'm a 40 something year old male based in in Surrey, UK. I have been unable to get over a loss I suffered over a year ago. It is now time for me to CTB in order to relieve the pain that each day brings.

I have a few very good friends IRL but all of them wish to help fix me. I am extremely grateful to them but that's not what I want or am able to do.

Hopefully that's a good enough introduction. Maybe I can get to know some of you through this process, it's difficult to find people to discuss this with in real life.

First time poster, long time lurker etc..

I would like to ask one or two of you for your help in return for my future experience of CTB with SN.

I'm considering asking one of you to help document my CTB. I do not wish for any sort of recognition but I think it would be good to have a full experience thread from beginning to end including confirmation. I will answer any questions as honestly and thoroughly as I can.

Secondly, I would like some help with details of SN sources in the UK. I have easy access to many types of gases but have decided that SN would be better for me. I know that I cannot PM people until approved to do so, I expect I will have found a source before I'm allowed to PM but we'll see!

My story is a relatively simple one. I'm a relatively simple person.

I'm a 40 something year old male based in in Surrey, UK. I have been unable to get over a loss I suffered over a year ago. It is now time for me to CTB in order to relieve the pain that each day brings.

I have a few very good friends IRL but all of them wish to help fix me. I am extremely grateful to them but that's not what I want or am able to do.

Hopefully that's a good enough introduction. Maybe I can get to know some of you through this process, it's difficult to find people to discuss this with in real life.

'Unable to cope with a loss after a year' been three and a half months for me, can't imagine a year, I'll be gone before then

 

[Mental_Pain]

'Unable to cope with a loss after a year' been three and a half months for me, can't imagine a year, I'll be gone before then

This hit hard. I couldn't do anything at three months. Only cry uncontrollably. I hope you find your version of peace.

 

[outrider567]

This hit hard. I couldn't do anything at three months. Only cry uncontrollably. I hope you find your version of peace.

Yep, still cry each day, her death resulting in the worst time of my life, which will end also this year--did another Nitrogen/exit bag test today, oxygen dropped from 99 to 54 after 5 breaths, pulse from 62 to120

 

[sadpinky]

I hate to say it but I have experience with this if you're interested.

 

[Mental_Pain]

I hate to say it but I have experience with this if you're interested.

I'm reading your posts now. Thank you.

Yep, still cry each day, her death resulting in the worst time of my life, which will end also this year--did another Nitrogen/exit bag test today, oxygen dropped from 99 to 54 after 5 breaths, pulse from 62 to120

I thought and originally prepared for nitrogen. I feel that either nitrogen or SN would achieve what I want but I think I've settled for SN.

I relate to the worst time of your life statement. I don't feel that my life has been a breeze but this is a pain that will not subside and cannot be worked through, no matter what I try or what anyone else says.

Thank you for sharing.