Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
This may be just me, but during the holidays, my suicidal ideations increase a million times over. Being alone, and having no friends and family when society says this is family time.

I know my cycle of this happening, and it is happening earlier this year. The increased suicidal feelings are coming. I recently had a failed attempt (OD'd, was found by my super, hospitalized ICU then psych ward.)

Do any of you get worse holiday time? Do any of you plan to CTB before the holidays because you just don't want to live through them again?

If this does happen to you, and you do not want to CTB and stick around, what do you do to get through this?

I am coming off a suicide attempt. This is a very bad time of year with my ideations. I want to stick around. I have my cat Milo, and I want to live for him. However, those feelings get really strong around the holidays.....
 
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Stan

Stan

Factoid Hunter
Aug 29, 2019
2,589
I know exactly what you mean. I used to have fond memories of holidays. For the past 8 years they have been nearly torture for me. I'm going early December, not because of them, but it helps not having to go through another one.
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
I know exactly what you mean. I used to have fond memories of holidays. For the past 8 years they have been nearly torture for me. I'm going early December, not because of them, but it helps not having to go through another one.
Ah. I do like your posts Stan. Please come here to say goodbye to you. I am also glad you understand.
 
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Stan

Stan

Factoid Hunter
Aug 29, 2019
2,589
Thank you Jean.

My problems start in November when you see decorations come up and TV adverts relating to Christmas appear. So wholesome and happy, families sharing good times. In reality, this is also a problem for those who do not suffer MH issues. People who are just lonely. It's an absolute bastard of a time of year.
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Thank you Jean.

My problems start in November when you see decorations come up and TV adverts relating to Christmas appear. So wholesome and happy, families sharing good times. In reality, this is also a problem for those who do not suffer MH issues. People who are just lonely. It's an absolute bastard of a time of year.

I understand. I'm 51 years old, no family or friends. Holiday depression happens to all.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
I think the holidays should be banned. It's not family time like it used to be. Now it's all greed and worthless. I hate the holidays, and nothing makes me want to hang myself from someone's xmas tree more than xmas.
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
I think the holidays should be banned. It's not family time like it used to be. Now it's all greed and worthless. I hate the holidays, and nothing makes me want to hang myself from someone's xmas tree more than xmas.
Tell it like it is. It's one big money making machine.
 
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SinisterKid

SinisterKid

Visionary
Jun 1, 2019
2,113
Is it ok for a old timer to join you young guns in lamenting the late, great holiday rip off that once was Christmas? :wink:

I dont usually find anything is any better or worse at a particular time of year. Depression doesn't seem to give a shit about seasons for me. When I found this place I was probably at my lowest point since my first attempt and I love summer. But this one was a bad one, just a lot of crap happened all at once.
 
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Stan

Stan

Factoid Hunter
Aug 29, 2019
2,589
Is it ok for a old timer to join you young guns in lamenting the late, great holiday rip off that once was Christmas? :wink:
all are welcome to the pity party - it's a bring your own misery bottle though :smiling:
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
Is it ok for a old timer to join you young guns in lamenting the late, great holiday rip off that once was Christmas? :wink:

I dont usually find anything is any better or worse at a particular time of year. Depression doesn't seem to give a shit about seasons for me. When I found this place I was probably at my lowest point since my first attempt and I love summer. But this one was a bad one, just a lot of crap happened all at once.
Old timer? Hell I'm only a couple years younger.
 
letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
This may be just me, but during the holidays, my suicidal ideations increase a million times over. Being alone, and having no friends and family when society says this is family time.

I know my cycle of this happening, and it is happening earlier this year. The increased suicidal feelings are coming. I recently had a failed attempt (OD'd, was found by my super, hospitalized ICU then psych ward.)

Do any of you get worse holiday time? Do any of you plan to CTB before the holidays because you just don't want to live through them again?

If this does happen to you, and you do not want to CTB and stick around, what do you do to get through this?

I am coming off a suicide attempt. This is a very bad time of year with my ideations. I want to stick around. I have my cat Milo, and I want to live for him. However, those feelings get really strong around the holidays.....
yes i feel the same way in weekends and holidays. most the saturdays. i wish i could die so quick and painful
 
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Is it ok for a old timer to join you young guns in lamenting the late, great holiday rip off that once was Christmas? :wink:

I dont usually find anything is any better or worse at a particular time of year. Depression doesn't seem to give a shit about seasons for me. When I found this place I was probably at my lowest point since my first attempt and I love summer. But this one was a bad one, just a lot of crap happened all at once.
The more the merrier! Now I can get through Halloween without being alone ;)
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
all are welcome to the pity party - it's a bring your own misery bottle though :smiling:
I got my misery bottle out. It's the cheap drunks wine, MD 20/20... I'm feeling rather cheap tonight.
The more the merrier! Now I can get through Halloween without being alone ;)
Will you be handing out candy laced with fentynal?
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
I got my misery bottle out. It's the cheap drunks wine, MD 20/20... I'm feeling rather cheap tonight.

Will you be handing out candy laced with fentynal?
If I had Fentynal do you think I would share? ;)
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
I have all types! Including a very nice chocolate covered popcorn
Stan, if you have popcorn, you have a new best friend ;)
 
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clownangel

clownangel

Student
Sep 25, 2019
122
Halloween is usually a big one for me where my outlook starts to dip more (am I imagining that it's getting as money based as Christmas? I used to love it cuz it's like, the anti Christmas, no family if you don't want, just candy and dumb movies!) but the whole tiny-family-no-friends-super-drained bit definitely sucks the fun out of November and December.
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
But you don't share if I remember correctly... ☹☹☹

Well in that case, I retract my statement of you being my new favorite friend...
Sorry. Popcorn wins out every time!
 
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