Incapable of changing and of dying

[goodoldnoname923]

10 years i've been like this and for the last 3 i've tried my hardest and to the best of my ability to correct it but no matter how much i reflect on my behaviour or no matter people tell me about my behaviour even looking back at old messages I can't fucking change

I've tried therapy and it doesn't work there is just something probably muiltple things inside of me stopping me from making meanful changes and all i can is continuously hurt people time and time again and I can't keep doing this but I can't change I can't find a way to die I can't find anyone who truely understands i feel i don't understand half the time

I can't get anyone to help or assist in the way i need and the misery pain and suffering i cause myself and others continues endlessly

I need to put a stop to this but no one will ever understand or help

I ask people that know how bad i am and they just think imm doing it for sympathy and i ask people who don't know me that think im capable of change that is blanetly obvious to me is impossible

 

[Hotsackage]

Unfortunately people don't know what it's like until it happens to them, or they witness someone they know in a bad flare up