Oct 26, 2020
Suffering. Not as bad as some, of course, but worse than I could ever imagine was possible before 9/16/19 when my life effectively ended.

my life is over but I’m forced to kill my body. I hate this. It’s like a terrible nightmare. God save me.

just venting, sorry. I’m going for an appointment tomorrow for an intake for TMS treatments. I think that’s the acronym...too depressed to open google lol. I only ever have SS open and like 10 tabs on other ctb related things. Looking at anything else makes me feel awful...because it’s stuff I used to engage with and now it just reminds me of who I was. Idk. Probably stupid.

how are you guys?


Mar 22, 2020
Well, I'm in a similar situation to yours. My life ended some months ago because I lost my freedom due to my CTB failed attempt and now I live in hell every day without being able to die.

Hopefully, once I win my freedom back next year (possibly), I'll be gone from this unfair and disgusting world.
Weary Soul

Weary Soul

Soon I will be free
Nov 13, 2019
TMS = Transcranial magnetic stimulation I believe.

I so relate to what you said about having to kill the body - awful imagery for me, but so very real - I get it.

I am not so god tonight - tired and in pain, thank you for asking.

Good luck tomorrow and I am so sorry life has brought you to this point.

  • Hugs
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