Venting In my despair i again let abusive male in my life who manipulated and stole from me...

[Painfu.Ll.suffering]

And it was not that i let him in... He needed money and a place to take a shower and i although completely depressed, thought ok at least i get out and have physical contact with another person (and i don't even like most of the contact because im in pain).. I hate myself for being so stupid to not see through this bullshit... Haven't i read the abusive thread yesterday i would have been blind again and thought it was me.. Whenever i got mad, he just called again like nothing happened. And quickly I forget what happened. I hate that I'm in this completely desperate situation where i am happy, if someone who knows my pains and can deal with it picks me up and i get to get outside... Doesn't matter how the experience goes. And i can't change the fact that i, although knowing that hes a manipulative a**o, am not strong enough to just not meet. I'll try again.
In my situation i only attract psychos... And i am afraid of becoming one myself since the accident... He even promised to help me with ctb.. I don't want to be this alone and desperate for help... :(