In memory of sasu users who passed away

[CrawlingInMySkin]

So tell me every1. How do u feel when smone on here passes away? I feel this question might burn your eyes from the distance of a screen, yet i truly desire as many answers from u. I'll take a moment to think on it for myself. u'all are of great help
I think there are many components of my emotions which i'll try not to conceal. though some are too weak and subconscious to be identified accurately.

I would feel anxiety first of all, likely due to human instinct upon deaths of others. I understand how our body and mind were long ago programmed to behave like this -- how death of own kind are recognized as signs of danger and calamity, and how we had been hard-coded to survive since. I also would find myself desperately searching for reasons to detach from ppl. I'll sit in silence with social media and sasu offline for a few hours, revisiting the details, sometimes uncontrollably. This is the hardest part.

Love joins, and hate separates, I endure ceaseless pain and loneliness when I soak myself inside the bitter medium of this, "hate", which is neither solid nor fluid. I have no idea what I hate in particular. Only tiny buds of self-hatred, a subconscious and transient signal of "maybe I could have done sth. and stuff would have turned out different." But I lack the power in my body and mind to grab it. I fail to believe I have any agent to bring about any changes. And I would quickly realize there have been nothing I could have done. I feel no guilt that lingers after all, and no hatred upon others. Only saddened by the fact that another shade of unique hue has been irreversibly erased from this world for good. I wish i could burst into tears if that leviates anything from my chest.

Sorry if this deviates from the topic. I would keep searching for names and remember them. And i realize im bad at sth i started. but will keep doing.

Just have to cope myself for a little longer

I don't know many of the names on this thread, but just thinking about it saddens me. I'm truly happy they found their peace, but each suicide also symbolizes a life wasted. One the world threw away by not treating someone right. It's the final solution. It brings peace and an end to suffering. But remembering that person... I don't even know many of these names like I said but it still makes me sad. Love and peace

 

[thaelyana]

i can't stop thinking about two of my friends today who must not be forgotten. You were such bright, funny, gentle, and affectionate people, trying your absolute best to move forward and find the light. I hope with all my heart that you have found peace.

@roommate - I miss your voice notes so much, just like your guitar and the pictures of your little dog. You left such a huge mark on me; you were one of my first real friends here.

@shediedatsea - you had such a beautiful soul, and the sweet nicknames you used to give me still echo. I am so sad I couldn't be there when you left, and I hope with all my being that you didn't suffer when you decided it was enough.

I am thinking of you with tears in my eyes, because you deserved so many wonderful things, so many soft and simple joys. Watch over yourselves, wherever you are

 

[interna]

@peacecomingsoon & @shesalreadygone - i hope you both are in a nicer, safer place now

 

[Macedonian1987]

@rozeske

Roza from Ethiopia. She was such a nice and kind person. I hope she is in a better place now. A place matching her goodness she had in her.

 

[Alexandra_]

I remember so many. May they rest in peace
@diopdawe
@Freedomm

 

[interna]

@peacecomingsoon & @shesalreadygone - i hope you both are in a nicer, safer place now

i made a mistake! i was told peacecomingsoon actually survived their attempt and was put in a ward afterwards . unsure whether or not they're out now, but nonetheless very sad