Immediately stop talking to someone if they say any of the following:

[Braindead Atheist]

People will say one thing but turn on you the second you open up to them. They'll spread roomers or just back-out with an excuse like 'you're to negative so I don't want to be your friend." Yeah, REAL friend there. The chances are if they say something like that they never were your friend. REAL friends say, "we'll get through this" or "I respect your choice" or it doesn't even have to be words; it can be actions like listening without judging, making you laugh, giving you space when you need it. or giving you food/a gift.

This is sad but true most people won't stick around. they think more and more about themselves and society frowns upon venting, calling it "negative" and "negative" people are widely hated, even if they're suicidal or just think differently. I'm sorry for people's attitudes towards venting, they say we all need a safe place and then the second you vent they just use "you're too negative" as an excuse to not help. They're so shallow, its depressing. So yeah, I hate people.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really hate those platitudes. They are said by people who are likely not suicidal so they will never be able to understand what we are going through. I would certainly stop talking to someone if they were saying things like these. It is why I choose to keep how I feel to myself. Others would never accept and understand my decision to ctb.

 

[ChobaniFlipSmores]

What I would like to see is a response cheat sheet for all of those statements, lol.

 

[Rogue Proxy]

I got an image of one of us landing a bingo on our card, shouting "BINGO!!!", and then instantly dropping dead in front of one of those self-righteous chucklefucks.

 

[NaughtyGirl]

I feel certain sense of pride and accomplishment that the only friend whom I told about my intentions didn't use any of those platitudes and instead said he hopes I pick what I believe is right for me. I guess that's one thing I'm good at in life, knowing whom I can call a close friend.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

This reminds me:

A while ago I came up with the Clichés minigame in Offtopic, where members came up with responses to worthless platitudes and pro-life drivel. Bite them, insult them, put them in their place with caustic humour and quick-witted comebacks, or just slap them in the face with a reality check.

Here's the link if anyone's interested:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/cliches.63099/

 

[LONE WOLF.]

I don't care what Sheeple's say! My plan is set in stone, l have what l need and l'm just enjoying the time l have left with my Staffie, then as soon as l have his ashes returned then CTB Time for me!

 

[Versailles]

It remains to put the phrase "The poor man is poor because he wants to" if someone tells me that, I move away from that person

 

[Depressed_Kettle]

I agree that most of these are unhelpful, some are even very unhelpful but I do think in some cases it's not a lie when people say you can talk to them. I've had very supportive people in my life that would listen to me, and while they may have no idea how I can get better, they sympathize/empathize with me.

I would also rather someone encourage me to seek help rather than say most of these other options. I especially hate the guilt-shaming ones.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

It remains to put the phrase "The poor man is poor because he wants to" if someone tells me that, I move away from that person

thats like saying its your fault that you're unhappy. like its a choice! God I HATE those types of people!

 

[Braindead Atheist]

I really hate those platitudes. They are said by people who are likely not suicidal so they will never be able to understand what we are going through. I would certainly stop talking to someone if they were saying things like these. It is why I choose to keep how I feel to myself. Others would never accept and understand my decision to ctb.

they just impose life on us like life is entitled to be lived like its some "gift". Life is NOT a gift. in fact, it doesn't deserve to be lived at all.

I got an image of one of us landing a bingo on our card, shouting "BINGO!!!", and then instantly dropping dead in front of one of those self-righteous chucklefucks.

I see it as me wearing black lipstick, and being dangerously under weight(which I intend to do) and saying "Bingo bitches." and shooting myself in the mouth or hanging myself. People are so fucking stupid with their willful ignorance towards my situation. I'm retarded! I'm never going to find a job i can do and my parents are kicking me out sooner or later. I deserve to escape whats coming to me and leave life aka my abuser. Life is for people who get the privledge of a normal brain, and a chance in the world. not people like me who have no place to contribute in society other than to be helped. Life is for people who can be happy. I wish heaven existed but i know its an age old fantastical lie. I'm going to die, its no ones right to keep me here against my will.

What I would like to see is a response cheat sheet for all of those statements, lol.

lets do that! Dm me and we'll make one!

 

[AntHydra]

I don't know. "You can talk to me" and "You're amazing" are things I wish I was hearing. I do wish someone would say that to me and mean it. It could really mean the world. Instead I hear "You need professional help I can't provide" and "I can't deal with this too".
I get the point, just... if only.

 

[WatermelonMel]

It was painful reading it all at once.
"You can talk to me" is the nicest pro-lifer greet, but it isn't helpful.

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

I didn't even get those responses. People just straight up abandoned me.

 

[Mr2005]

I get it, we're better than everyone else

 

[Midgardsorm]

That's the bingo !

Some already heard all of that.

Personally I would change the "You're amazing" and "You can talk to me" to "Others have it way worse"and "Why haven't you done already?"

 

[Rogue Proxy]

It was painful reading it all at once.
"You can talk to me" is the nicest pro-lifer greet, but it isn't helpful.

The average human goes to great lengths constructing and fortifying their angelic, compassionate façade to fool themselves and others. Yet, they avoid twitching a finger to actually help anyone in need at all costs - except for two conditions: first, there must be some substantial reward(s) for them, and second, one of these rewards must involve social approval from others to strengthen their status, value, and worth. If not external praise, at least receiving the programmed "warm fuzzies" for performing a prosocial act.

 

[motel rooms]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia0.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2Fl5Ll2rc8M7hKWqlvDb%2F200.gif&hash=03934babbb144937d0eb8fdb9b5bff6c

 

[YourNeighbor]

And the cherry on top--if you never communicate with people who hold views different to your own, you'll never have to consider the possibility you're not correct about something. Yay for echo chambers!

 

[odradek]

"Isn't it odd how we misunderstand the hidden unity of kindness and cruelty?"

― Frank Herbert, Dune

 

[Quinlor]

View attachment 75679

People will say one thing but turn on you the second you open up to them. They'll spread roomers or just back-out with an excuse like 'you're to negative so I don't want to be your friend." Yeah, REAL friend there. The chances are if they say something like that they never were your friend. REAL friends say, "we'll get through this" or "I respect your choice" or it doesn't even have to be words; it can be actions like listening without judging, making you laugh, giving you space when you need it. or giving you food/a gift.

This is sad but true most people won't stick around. they think more and more about themselves and society frowns upon venting, calling it "negative" and "negative" people are widely hated, even if they're suicidal or just think differently. I'm sorry for people's attitudes towards venting, they say we all need a safe place and then the second you vent they just use "you're too negative" as an excuse to not help. They're so shallow, its depressing. So yeah, I hate people.

For me the real problem is if the person sincerely want to help or just says this thing for a social obligation sense or pity but deep inside the person doesn't give a shit about you

 

[Goh12345]

There is so much hate towards other people so called "pro-lifers" here. And while I understand where that comes from because I myself have a deep wish someone would say to me that it's ok to leave, I think we are forgetting to understand the other side too. Even to me it's hard to know the right thing to say when someone is suicidal, it's probably even harder when you don't deal with it and these sentences are what is promoted to be said so someone may have good intentions and think that's the right thing to be said. It may not be really helpful but what else can you say? If you're important to someone there is high chance they don't want you to die so it may be hard for them to say that they allow you to do it.

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

I even had someone saying to me that I would go to hell. Smh.

 

[ClownMe]

When you say anything about being depressed/suicidal on reddit:

 

[Hurt]

These are words some people use to make us feel better. But they don't change our reality.

 

[NaughtyGirl]

Now that I look at it, what's wrong with "you can talk to me?" Are you just assuming that everyone who says that doesn't actually mean it?

 

[Soulless Angel]

Not read all the replies. But I wouldn't stop talking to people just because they say shit like this. If these empty platitudes make them feel better in their own little bubble then so be it.
Yes it's annoying to hear, but I'd rather they said some shit then nothing at all

I mean it can read as a guide of what not to say to a mentally unwell person, which makes it a little easier!

 

[toforigivelife]

View attachment 75679

People will say one thing but turn on you the second you open up to them. They'll spread roomers or just back-out with an excuse like 'you're to negative so I don't want to be your friend." Yeah, REAL friend there. The chances are if they say something like that they never were your friend. REAL friends say, "we'll get through this" or "I respect your choice" or it doesn't even have to be words; it can be actions like listening without judging, making you laugh, giving you space when you need it. or giving you food/a gift.

This is sad but true most people won't stick around. they think more and more about themselves and society frowns upon venting, calling it "negative" and "negative" people are widely hated, even if they're suicidal or just think differently. I'm sorry for people's attitudes towards venting, they say we all need a safe place and then the second you vent they just use "you're too negative" as an excuse to not help. They're so shallow, its depressing. So yeah, I hate people.

Excellent post. Thank you for pointing all of this out.

Yes, the same people who didn't want to - not couldn't, didn't want to - simply be there for you when you were in crisis - and a lot times, not all, but a lot of times those of us who are brought to suicide tend to be the sensitive, perceptive types who were there for these same people when they needed someone - will roll their eyes at your "weak" and "selfish" desire to leave this life (there is nothing "weak" about soldiering through what we have soldiered through and if we were that "selfish" we would have ended a long time ago but we "selfishly" kept going in order to avoid hurting the very people you are posting about), poison others against you and thereby making you feel all the more isolated with your anguish will want cry their tears and ring their hands in shock and sadness and wail, "Why oh why oh why didn't they reach out to me? They seemed fine, why oh why oh why didn't they at least give us some indication that something was wrong???".

 

[ormaybeyoucouldchill]

I get it, we're better than everyone else

When did anyone say that?

 

[Beau]

I had to laugh when I saw "Have you tried yoga?" I hope I don't know anyone idiotic enough to say that to a suicidal person. But I think the absolute worst cliche in existence is "Don't quit five minutes before your miracle."

Before my troubles, I probably would have used one or more of these myself. If your survival instinct has never been tested, I think it is impossible to really understand suicide. And we've been taught that it must be prevented at all costs. Like it or not, that thing about not wanting to hurt your family is very effective, and why many people here hold on. That is true for me too.