Try the MAO inhibitor
Jatrosom (Tranylcypromine) and your imagination becomes reality. I'm taking it since three months and I didn't cry anymore, felt happy or had any kind of emotions or feelings in this time. Your relationship with your family is disturbed but you don't feel depressed anymore. That's something. But unfortunately, it doesn't kill the urge to CTB yourself. It's only effecting my episodes of depression and does nothing about bpd. You can cut/self harm yourself and literally feel nothing, not then fucking pain or any kind of relieve.
It's a strange old drug but my "last choice" which is given to patients where no med had ever helped, like in my case. And don't look up for the diet plan, it's awful.
But yeah, regarding your question: I don't have to imagine it, I live it