I'm wondering if my way out of this shit is to contract AIDS

[ChildrensITV]

It's a brutal way to die. I've been watching documentaries on it from the 1980s. But at least, within 2 years, they're dead. And I'm not sure if it counts as suicide. But I guess, it would be considered it if I don't go on the meds to stay alive.

I'm just thinking out loud. That was my last idea. I'm all out now. I guess I could go skydiving and see what my odds are, but I can't afford it, and would probably break my neck and survive.

It blows my mind that children and young people with so much to live for die everyday, yet here I am: I haven't enjoyed my life since I was a child. Each day is something to tolerate. And there is no sign of me dying. I saw my medical chart online and it says that my liver isn't doing too well. I'm not surprised. I drink so much to cope. I wonder if I'll need a liver transplant. Maybe that's my way out. I'm part of the least altruistic ethnic minority on earth, so there isn't likely to be a matching donor for me. Woooo!

People say "life is precious". Yet, I can't die to save my life.

 

[Macedonian1987]

Why torture yourself immensely by dying slowly of AIDS? Dying of aids is as painful (maybe even more) as dying from cancer. I've seen some old documentaries from 30-40 years ago about AIDS and it is a very painful way to go.
As for the "life is precious" thing, life is indeed precious, but if you life isn't plagued by depression or chronic pain or both.

 

[ChildrensITV]

Why torture yourself immensely by dying slowly of AIDS? Dying of aids is as painful (maybe even more) as dying from cancer. I've seen some old documentaries from 30-40 years ago about AIDS and it is a very painful way to go.
As for the "life is precious" thing, life is indeed precious, but if you life isn't plagued by depression or chronic pain or both.

Yeah. I'm starting to live a reckless lifestyle where AIDS might on the cards if I'm not careful. But you're right, I probably don't want it. But it's like: what are we left with? I have to die by my own hand? There are so many tragedies all over the world but none of them seem to kill me. I gotta suffer til I'm elderly.

Life is precious if your life is good.

 

[Concorde]

I've been at least passively suicidal since almost forever and the couple of times I thought I was going to die (once in a plane, once in another thing), I was like ahhhhhhh. Finally. No work on my part.

But even being a gay guy who had tons of sex on drugs before PrEP and sober sex before and after PrEP, I, unlike many of my peers, used protection, because it was such a shitty way to die.

But then things got particularly bad. I started drinking and hooking up with strangers and don't know how many or with whom. No protection. Am I immune from all STIs including HIV/AIDS?

I see the attraction. I'd much prefer a terminal disease, but in a word: No. This is not a reliable or useful way, and in 2025, even people who have HIV/AIDS, tend to be medicated for it enough to be undetectable, which means no transmission.

 

[Forever Sleep]

What I wonder about all 'natural' serious illnesses though is- if you get diagnosed by the doctor but then, flat out reject treatment- will they still be as attentive with pain management? Or will they be all shitty- you can't have one without the other? In which case, you end up extending a horrible illness till you either recover or die of it. I know theoretically we are allowed to reject treatment. I just wonder how it works in practice.

Couldn't you imagine the conversation though? You have AIDS... I don't want treatment... But it will kill you without... I'm fine with that... Are you saying you are happy do die? Do you think you might be depressed? Maybe we should look at addressing that too... I wonder just how many doctors would be that supportive of a patients obvious wish to die.

 

[Concorde]

Holy Christ, your guesses sound so realistic. What an appalling world.

Imagine me: yes, MDD since 15 years old, suicidal since ≈10. I'm also prone to addiction. Please lemme die with peace.

Not gonna happen.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

It just sounds needlessly painful and potentially harmful to others. You'd have to disclose your HIV+ status to any medical professionals, otherwise it could put them at risk during certain procedures. And of course, they'd be constantly pushing you and asking why you do not want treatment.

I have done a lot of research on AIDS in the past for a project, and you seem to not understand how it works.

HIV does not become AIDS overnight. You cannot "catch" AIDS, you can develop it from a prior HIV infection, often years after original infection. You'd be living years with HIV (likely unsympomatic, but still required to disclose to avoid infecting others), and unless you put a lot of stress on your immune system (through things like various types of other infections), the final stage wouldn't be anywhere soon to be worth it.

And even if it was fast, you would be slowly withering away, losing muscle mass even in important parts of your body until breathing is nearly impossible. Most AIDS victims die of pneumonia, aka drowning from fluid in their already-inflamed lungs. And it is not quick, even without treatment.