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microwaved_dawg

microwaved_dawg

Certified dumbass
Nov 22, 2024
55
I have a constant feeling like I'm just rotting away, last semester everything was just so HARD, waking up, doing homework, doing projects even showering and playing videogames. I wasted my days doing I don't even know what. I knew I was going to fail if I continued like that and so I did, failed 4 classes that were crucial for my degree, meaning I practically failed the whole semester.

I don't know what it's going on, I've got friends again, I even somehow got a gf and I honestly couldn't feel emptier. Sure, they distract me of the negative thoughts, although I'm constantly defensive around them even though they don't signify a threat. They care about me, they tried to comfort me about the lost semester, they tell me not to worry, that it's not all lost. However, I just feel so ashamed, I haven't even been able to tell my parents.

Everything was/is crashing down and all I can do is just watch. I'm a horrible student, son, friend and person in general.
I'm not going to be 19 forever, yet I'm extremely out of shape, constantly isolating myself and doing terribly in everything I try. It's times like this when I can't think about anything else than how good highschool was and how low I've fallen since then.
 
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