Venting im tired

[ummagumma]

im so tired. i know i have to keep going for my family, my death will destroy them, but im so tired. i know that ill always be that miserable. nothing will change. meds, therapy... all of this makes no to little difference. i tried, i really tried. but no effect

my parents know that im suicidal. they are so loving and caring. when we talk, i see that they walk on eggshells. im so sick of this. im a burden, a headache. no matter what they say or do, it doesnt get better. they say that its depression, that im sick and need treatment. well i think thats just my philosophy, worldview, personality. if it was a disease, it could be cured. but im just a shitty person, a shitty friend, a shitty daughter. an emo, an infantile, who revel in sorrow

wish a car hit me, so my loved ones wont be sad, that i killed myself

 

[unluckysadness]

I hope you'll find peace in this world or on the other side

 

[whywere]

1st off, you are a WONDERFULLY loving and kind soul. Reading your thread spoke volumes about you. You are kind, loving, sensitive (which is an awesome trait to have!!!).

2nd PLEASE do not beat yourself up, as you are a caring friend to me and without you here would be a huge hole that could never be filled, never. I have all my life, 69 years to be exact, have had crappy everything, BUT there is always a beautiful sunrise coming and you are a beautiful sunrise for sure.

I also have had huge mental health issues from day 1 and I also have chronic pain which magnifies everything, BUT with your help nothing else matters ever. You are family to me, as I have no family nor friends. Every time I try and get a friend outside of here, they always want something, and I will NEVER pay to have a friend, never.

Are you "sick"? Heavens, NO! You, like me just need a helping hand on occasion and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that ever. That is one of the VERY strong aspects of this site, is we ALL help each other out, family, YES!

I have had 2 attempts which landed me in the ward, and I know now that ALL of us TOGETHER can overcome with sunshine, hugs, smiles and love.

Your thread REALLY struck a chord with me, as you are such a loving soul and I want the very best for you with the knowledge that you are NEVER EVER alone, and I always have you in my heart and thoughts, we ARE family period!

Wishing you lots of love, hugs caring thoughts and the knowledge that you ARE VERY important to me and others.

Walter

 

[ummagumma]

1st off, you are a WONDERFULLY loving and kind soul. Reading your thread spoke volumes about you. You are kind, loving, sensitive (which is an awesome trait to have!!!).

2nd PLEASE do not beat yourself up, as you are a caring friend to me and without you here would be a huge hole that could never be filled, never. I have all my life, 69 years to be exact, have had crappy everything, BUT there is always a beautiful sunrise coming and you are a beautiful sunrise for sure.

I also have had huge mental health issues from day 1 and I also have chronic pain which magnifies everything, BUT with your help nothing else matters ever. You are family to me, as I have no family nor friends. Every time I try and get a friend outside of here, they always want something, and I will NEVER pay to have a friend, never.

Are you "sick"? Heavens, NO! You, like me just need a helping hand on occasion and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that ever. That is one of the VERY strong aspects of this site, is we ALL help each other out, family, YES!

I have had 2 attempts which landed me in the ward, and I know now that ALL of us TOGETHER can overcome with sunshine, hugs, smiles and love.

Your thread REALLY struck a chord with me, as you are such a loving soul and I want the very best for you with the knowledge that you are NEVER EVER alone, and I always have you in my heart and thoughts, we ARE family period!

Wishing you lots of love, hugs caring thoughts and the knowledge that you ARE VERY important to me and others.

Walter

thank you for your long reply, you are a kind soul