Venting I’m tired of waking to this...

[Krash1990]

Let me start by saying that depression isn't all that bad. I mean it sucks, but it's nothing compared to anxiety and PTSD for me.

(I mean no offense if your depression is the hardest thing for you. Everyone is different.)

I've had depression since I was 7 according to doctors. I always managed to make it through the days. I could even force happiness with enough work. Motivation to do so was always the issue.

But this anxiety that's just come upon me is crippling. I took half a bottle of unisom and still I wake up 3-4 hours later with the feeling of someone sitting on my chest and my heart rate spiking. If this is all mental then how in the hell do I have anxiety in my sleep?!

I miss sleeping through the night. I miss enjoying food. I miss enjoying everything. I miss the wife I had before she cheated. I miss every aspect of my life from 6 mo the ago. Even the bad things weren't that bad.

I'd give up anything for just one more week of that life.

Alas, I'll never have any of it back now. I had it all and now I'm a pile of rubble.

Oh how the mighty have fallen.

 

[Lostandfound7]

I feel u, Bro..It's crazy how things have changed so drastically and dramatically in just a matter of months..I too, would give anything to go back to the "good ol' days," which for some was just months ago...smdh...We r all in this together.♡

Sending u peace and comfort during this very difficult time..♡♡♡

 

[Soul]

I feel u, Bro..It's crazy how things have changed so drastically and dramatically in just a matter of months..I too, would give anything to go back to the "good ol' days," which for some was just months ago...smdh...We r all in this together.♡

Sending u peace and comfort during this very difficult time..♡♡♡

@Lostandfound7, your kindness is shining. Peace and comfort and deep appreciation to you too. x

 

[Lostandfound7]

@Lostandfound7, your kindness is shining. Peace and comfort and deep appreciation to you too. x

Ty so much my @Soul ...♡♡♡

Pain recognizes pain...

 

[I screwed up]

Am in a similar situation ... Would do anything for good old days before I screwed up everything. I hate this life now ... God I want to ctb

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I agree, and no offense to people who "only" have depression because when they first get depression it will feel like the worst thing ever because they have never experienced so bad before the same as getting slapped would feel like next to nothing after getting punched.

At least in my teenage years I could live an exciting life despite depression but anxiety is crippling you in a whole other manor, also if I were to put all my physical and mental problems I have now on my 16 year old self I would no doubt ctb immediately it´s just these horrible illnesses slowly creeps up on us they don´t usually just hit us at once so we unfortunately adapt to them just like with my apathy and anhedonia they slowly got worse over the span of 6 years.

 

[Krash1990]

I agree, and no offense to people who "only" have depression because when they first get depression it will feel like the worst thing ever because they have never experienced so bad before the same as getting slapped would feel like next to nothing after getting punched.

At least in my teenage years I could live an exciting life despite depression but anxiety is crippling you in a whole other manor, also if I were to put all my physical and mental problems I have now on my 16 year old self I would no doubt ctb immediately it´s just these horrible illnesses slowly creeps up on us they don´t usually just hit us at once so we unfortunately adapt to them just like with my apathy and anhedonia they slowly got worse over the span of 6 years.

I hate to admit it, but I used to scoff at people who claimed they dealt with anxiety as reasons for not doing things...

My karma I suppose.

Now I lay in bed and can't breathe or move some times.

I'm 6'4 and 200lbs. I jump out of planes, off cliffs, buildings, antennas, and bridges for fun...and here I am laying in a panic unable to function. It's pathetic.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I hate to admit it, but I used to scoff at people who claimed they dealt with anxiety as reasons for not doing things...

My karma I suppose.

Now I lay in bed and can't breathe or move some times.

I'm 6'4 and 200lbs. I jump out of planes, off cliffs, buildings, antennas, and bridges for fun...and here I am laying in a panic unable to function. It's pathetic.

Generalized anxiety is literally torture I know it´s a mental illness but to me it feels more physical which is why it´s so crippling which is why I started to self-medicate with benzodiazepines months ago.