Venting i miss enjoying things

[nails]

everything just sucks, i don't want to do anything and i hate it. i don't like anything anymore. all of my previous interests just bring up memories of people who no longer wish to know me. i can't find new interests but nothing interests me anymore. the new things i discover become dull so fast. i find it, go through all of the content for it, and that's all. sometimes i find new music that i enjoy, but that spark only lasts for a few minutes. there's no one to talk to so it just gets dull. online communities are a bit useless for this kinda thing as well.
i really miss becoming obsessed with games or shows or comics. it was always so exciting and i miss talking about them and trying to get others into everything, but that's all gone. all the yapping was probably a bad idea anyway, i was probably just annoying, lol. it was still fun, though.

i had some goals and aspirations that i had been working towards but i just don't care anymore. i wanted to go back to uni but i don't care anymore. school was only bearable because i enjoyed what i was doing and had (online) friends, but that's all gone now. there were some things i wanted to do and experience, some places i wanted to visit, but i don't really care anymore. i'll be alone and uncomfortable forever, so it's all just dreadful. i'm just existing because i have to.

 

[Hollowman]

Anhedonia is a living hell.

 

[Claymore7274]

Me too, me too man.

 

[un1queusername]

I relate to every word. You're not alone. What songs have you found that still make you feel something? When we get to the point of wanting to cbt, our brain has decided nothing about existence is safe anymore. That leaves no room for wonder, joy, desire, interest, curiosity, any pleasant emotion. It's fucking exhausting. All this to say, your numbness makes sense. The pain has brought you to total apathy because there is no more energy for anything else. It boggles me that there are people who wake up and are eager to explore and dive into new ideas and just... do things without it feeling like pulling teeth.

 

[PanaxMan]

everything just sucks, i don't want to do anything and i hate it. i don't like anything anymore. all of my previous interests just bring up memories of people who no longer wish to know me. i can't find new interests but nothing interests me anymore. the new things i discover become dull so fast. i find it, go through all of the content for it, and that's all. sometimes i find new music that i enjoy, but that spark only lasts for a few minutes. there's no one to talk to so it just gets dull. online communities are a bit useless for this kinda thing as well.
i really miss becoming obsessed with games or shows or comics. it was always so exciting and i miss talking about them and trying to get others into everything, but that's all gone. all the yapping was probably a bad idea anyway, i was probably just annoying, lol. it was still fun, though.

i had some goals and aspirations that i had been working towards but i just don't care anymore. i wanted to go back to uni but i don't care anymore. school was only bearable because i enjoyed what i was doing and had (online) friends, but that's all gone now. there were some things i wanted to do and experience, some places i wanted to visit, but i don't really care anymore. i'll be alone and uncomfortable forever, so it's all just dreadful. i'm just existing because i have to.

Legit me rn as I'm homeless. I'm just trying to nostalgia bait until I'm dead and my organs fail me

 

[nails]

IWhat songs have you found that still make you feel something?

mostly just songs by Bring me the Horizon. A lot of it hurts to listen to because one of my former friends also listened to them, but BMTH is still my favorite band. There also some video game soundtracks that bring a similar spark, but the situation is similar so a lot of it just brings up memories that make me feel sad.
thank you for responding

 

[un1queusername]

Haha I also associate BMTH with with a former friend. It's lovely you're still able to hold onto the band and have your own meaning without tying it too much to your friend. Video game soundtracks are awesome too!!