I’m tired of being a loser.

[Waiting for death]

I don't understand why sometimes I feel like a piece of human garbage. The worst thing in life is being lonely and always thinking about the future and you can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I can't see myself here in one or years. I don't care about anything in life (relationship, work, nothing). I feel envious of those who succeed. I spend all my day lied on my bed or playing video games. At the age of 26, I live like a teenager. I gave another opportunity for myself to start living again but it's tough, I'm tired of being tortured, I'm tired of wanting to have stuffs that I can never have. I'm sick and tired of this corrupt capitalist world, everything is about money. I feel really lost. Thank God I'm going away very soon.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

It really is all luck of the draw. Life is essentially a Powerball lottery with about a 1 in 7 billion chance of having a life worth living. We do not have winning tickets. It's time to tear them up and throw them in the trash.

 

[Sleeper System]

I don't understand why sometimes I feel like a piece of human garbage. The worst thing in life is being lonely and always thinking about the future and you can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I can't see myself here in one or years. I don't care about anything in life (relationship, work, nothing). I feel envious of those who succeed. I spend all my day lied on my bed or playing video games. At the age of 26, I live like a teenager. I gave another opportunity for myself to start living again but it's tough, I'm tired of being tortured, I'm tired of wanting to have stuffs that I can never have. I'm sick and tired of this corrupt capitalist world, everything is about money. I feel really lost. Thank you.

The future. That keeps me awake at night.
Im 30+ and still live like a teenager. Doing whatever I want even if it's not productive.
Best case is you put your head down and just work and try to save some money up
and if you do decide to ctb you can have one awesome night and then go.

 

[WonderingSoul]

I'm only 20 and you described most of my life

 

[notahappygirl]

 

[annique]

about the same age as you, i'm living just like you...
this feeling of hopelessness, this existential dread....
this all keep my anxiety levels at the peak all day long

i wish you well, really

 

[Rhizomorph1]

It really is all luck of the draw. Life is essentially a Powerball lottery with about a 1 in 7 billion chance of having a life worth living. We do not have winning tickets. It's time to tear them up and throw them in the trash.

There are about 8 to 10 billion people on the planet...

Are you suggesting that only 1 to 2 people on the earth have a life worth living?

I know you're just being rhetorical but around 4 out of 5 people do not live with a mental illness. Health psychology and humanistic psychology research has reliably shown that the majority of people are happy overall; despite experiencing some stress.

If anything those of us who are driven to suicide due to unrecoverable conditions are the minority. I hate to admit it because it feels insidiously unfair but I also can't deny the facts

 

[Orbitc]

There are about 8 to 10 billion people on the planet...

Are you suggesting that only 1 to 2 people on the earth have a life worth living?

I know you're just being rhetorical but around 4 out of 5 people do not live with a mental illness. Health psychology and humanistic psychology research has reliably shown that the majority of people are happy overall; despite experiencing some stress.

If anything those of us who are driven to suicide due to unrecoverable conditions are the minority. I hate to admit it because it feels insidiously unfair but I also can't deny the facts

He probably means something exceptional - for example, the life of a person like Putin or Elon Musk. Putin is incredibly rich and his power is unlimited in Russia - he can do whatever he wants - even provoke wars and no one can stop him. Just because most people say they are happy doesn't mean they have a great life. My mother said that she was happy when she loved my father - he is married, he did not help her raise the child, he just used her as a condom and threw her away - I told her as a child about how crap her life was. She was crippled by childbirth - the stitches on her stomach burst. My father did not respect her and treated her as she deserved - like a whore. But this idiot said that she loved him and was happy. She has shitty life

 

[Forever Sleep]

There are about 8 to 10 billion people on the planet...

Are you suggesting that only 1 to 2 people on the earth have a life worth living?

I know you're just being rhetorical but around 4 out of 5 people do not live with a mental illness. Health psychology and humanistic psychology research has reliably shown that the majority of people are happy overall; despite experiencing some stress.

If anything those of us who are driven to suicide due to unrecoverable conditions are the minority. I hate to admit it because it feels insidiously unfair but I also can't deny the facts

I agree, we are in the minority being suicidal. Even people who live difficult lives aren't necessarily suicidal. It's interesting you brought up mental health though. Do you think you have to have a mental illness if you are suicidal? I'm really curious. I'd say I for instance don't have debhilitating mental illness. I'd likely be diagnosed with mild depression but in that case- I've had it for 33 years. And to varying intensities. I find I don't fit the symptoms for the really serious diagnoses. Yet- I'd also agree- it can't really be 'normal' brain functioning to feel suicidal. I guess I just find it curious. What makes one person experience horrible life events yet carry on normally, while another person becomes suicidal?

I guess it must be our coping resilience but I think it's more philosophical than that. A huge percentage of people here have come to the conclusion that life- or- the best quality life they could feasibly achieve isn't going to be worth the effort. It's not that they necessarily can't cope. It's that they don't want to. Is that mental illness or, is that using logic to assess your situation, come up with all the likely outcomes and realise you don't much like the look of any of them?

Sorry for derailing the thread OP. I'm so sorry for your situation. I sort of feel similarly. I just feel really disillusioned with life.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

There are about 8 to 10 billion people on the planet...

Are you suggesting that only 1 to 2 people on the earth have a life worth living?

I know you're just being rhetorical but around 4 out of 5 people do not live with a mental illness. Health psychology and humanistic psychology research has reliably shown that the majority of people are happy overall; despite experiencing some stress.

If anything those of us who are driven to suicide due to unrecoverable conditions are the minority. I hate to admit it because it feels insidiously unfair but I also can't deny the facts

It's probably even less than that. There are other reasons besides mental illness to not have a life worth living. The majority of people are slaves to the system of society and have had an existential crisis at least one time in their lives.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I can relate to everything you are saying.
This world is just too harsh and unforgiving, and we are expected to do things that make us miserable in order to fit into society.

 

[Rhizomorph1]

Do you think you have to have a mental illness if you are suicidal? I'm really curious. I'd say I for instance don't have debhilitating mental illness.

Absolutely not. Durkheim, a popular classical sociologiat characterized 4 different types of suicide based on 2 dimensions: how much social control or regulation exists (how much social norms influence people), and how much people actually adhere to or resist these social norms. 2 of the below examples have to do with a very high level of social cohesion (e.g., suicide bombers or people who die to save their family)



There is no single reason for suicide, but the reason I focus on mental illness is because in today's society it no doubt accounts for 95%+ of suicides.

The actual types of suicide within a given society predicts a lot about it's cultural values and politics interestingly.

Most of those on this forum probably represent the anomic-egoistic dimensions. Those on the altruistic-fatalistic end are probably fairly unmotivated to come onto this forum as they already have community, but there will be exceptions

 

[Waiting for death]

The future. That keeps me awake at night.
Im 30+ and still live like a teenager. Doing whatever I want even if it's not productive.
Best case is you put your head down and just work and try to save some money up
and if you do decide to ctb you can have one awesome night and then go.

I'm out of work for a while. Job opportunities are scarce over here and I don't know if I'm productive enough to stay in a permanent job.

 

[Sleeper System]

I'm out of work for a while. Job opportunities are scarce over here and I don't know if I'm productive enough to stay in a permanent job.

I know what that's like. The level of hassle just to live a decent life in this world is another reason people want to ctb.

 

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

I agree, we are in the minority being suicidal. Even people who live difficult lives aren't necessarily suicidal. It's interesting you brought up mental health though. Do you think you have to have a mental illness if you are suicidal? I'm really curious. I'd say I for instance don't have debhilitating mental illness. I'd likely be diagnosed with mild depression but in that case- I've had it for 33 years. And to varying intensities. I find I don't fit the symptoms for the really serious diagnoses. Yet- I'd also agree- it can't really be 'normal' brain functioning to feel suicidal. I guess I just find it curious. What makes one person experience horrible life events yet carry on normally, while another person becomes suicidal?

I guess it must be our coping resilience but I think it's more philosophical than that. A huge percentage of people here have come to the conclusion that life- or- the best quality life they could feasibly achieve isn't going to be worth the effort. It's not that they necessarily can't cope. It's that they don't want to. Is that mental illness or, is that using logic to assess your situation, come up with all the likely outcomes and realise you don't much like the look of any of them?

Sorry for derailing the thread OP. I'm so sorry for your situation. I sort of feel similarly. I just feel really disillusioned with life.

What even is depression ? i have been in various prolonged state of suffering for years with each time different way of living it. I can't attribute that to a illness. To me, what is called depression is simply a state of lasting suffering that can result from a mismatch between a being and his or her environment or/and of traumas/regrets/body condition. Maybe there others factors in play wich caused this suffering but is certainly not a illness. Some people also tend to have a more grim temperament but that doesn't mean they're sick. it is not like something we've caught. It is not either a physiological dysfunction ( as serotonin hypothesis has been refute ). It definitely is a generalization of different state of prolonged suffering experimented by various individual for different reason that we define as an illness. the concerned person is put on medication as we would do it for a real biological illness.

 

[27clubHereWeGo]

This post hits so close to home. I feel your pain dude.

 

[BlockHammer]

I don't understand why sometimes I feel like a piece of human garbage. The worst thing in life is being lonely and always thinking about the future and you can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I can't see myself here in one or years. I don't care about anything in life (relationship, work, nothing). I feel envious of those who succeed. I spend all my day lied on my bed or playing video games. At the age of 26, I live like a teenager. I gave another opportunity for myself to start living again but it's tough, I'm tired of being tortured, I'm tired of wanting to have stuffs that I can never have. I'm sick and tired of this corrupt capitalist world, everything is about money. I feel really lost. Thank God I'm going away very soon.

Im sorry for what you have been going through, i also experiencing the same thing, haven't got a job yet despite appliying in a lot of company only to get ignored. Trying to study a certain subject that can be useful at work instead of playing game everyday so i can be more productive, but sometimes i think that it's gonna be useless if i can't have a job af all, most of the time i felt like a loser

 

[Orbitc]

Я знаю, что это такое. Уровень хлопот просто для того, чтобы прожить достойную жизнь в этом мире, является еще одной причиной, по которой люди хотят ctb.

Most people do not live, but lead a miserable existence - most people earn little and spend most of the money they earn on paying rent or a loan. Some cannot even find a job that pays high enough to get a loan and buy an apartment. Does this life make sense when you work a job you hate for pennies? Let's be honest - anyone who was not born into a rich family and did not graduate from a university like Harvard (tuition now costs hundreds of thousands of dollars) has practically no chance of finding a good job. I couldn't spend time studying - I was forced to work from the age of 15, even when I was 13 I worked a little at a car wash. Even considering that I'm a little lucky and I'm beautiful enough to earn as an escort per hour what most people in my country earn in 2 weeks or even a month, I still can't afford to buy my own home. I pay expensive rent because my clients will not go to an area that is far from the center. This is not life - this is a miserable existence. Now I'm trying to cheer myself up and distract myself - to make my last days a little better - I'm watching the series "Billions" - people have interesting lives there - intrigues and wars with high stakes. And this provokes even more despair in my day - most of us never had the chance to have such a life - let's be honest.

 

[underthedatetree]

When I was a teenager I was enrolled in all the AP classes playing a sport trying to become valedictorian like my sister and practicing fervently to be the best at my one "calling" The pressure broke me and now I lay in bed and play video games too