Venting Im tired, just... very tired.

[fusfurina]

I will just tell my story here, even i dont think anyone would care, and my english is too bad.

Im 18 yo and i dont have studies, job or anything, im very shy and dont have more than 2 friends anymore.
Im living with my mother and the money she gots from a help from the state, they put the money down so now we dont even have food to eat unless milk and cookies.
I dont have a social life, i live in my bedroom listening to music, cutting myself (making my mom even more sad) and nothing more than sleeping, i never change, everyday is hell, but i dont have the recurses to just kms, i dont have money and even when were gonna sell drugs i wont have money, i have to steal all i want, is just so sad.
I been drunk all the week, i cried a lot, i burned cigarettes on me, i cutter and punch the shit of the wall, i feel hopeless, my life is going nowhere, so I NEED to die, i need to be in peace. I thoug of jumping of the window (i live in a 4 floor put is like a 6) and just die, but i dont want to live in my try and be stupid for the rest of my life.
Im so usless, i cant do anything, not even killing myself.
Last week i remember i toke a lot of pills and drink them with the alcohol, they did me a stomatch wash and went home again.
MY LIFE IS POINTLESS, but, why it scare me to much kms? I just wanna desapear and left everyone that is just like "pls do dont do that" and know deep down they actually dont care.


Thats my story, i dont have any other, i lost my other friends bc of my sh addiction and probably lost the ones i have bc it again, but, it is what it is, i will try to look for post that can help me but i dont think nothing can kill me rn, i wish this years wherent so miserable, i wish i was diferent, smarter, prettier.
Im a shitty woman that is dumb as fuck.

If you readed all of this, thank you.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I'm really sorry for your cruel situation. It's really unfair.

 

[butterfly000]

I'm very sorry you ended up in this situation. I imagine not having any options really makes you feel stuck, just to suffer. I can kind of relate. I understand you're desperate and in pain but I still advice against doing anything reckless. Trying to ctb while not having done enough research or not having thoroughly planned often could have you end up in a worse situation.

 

[whywere]

After reading your thread, I cried and cried and cried for you. It is all over SaSu about me, as far as getting kicked out at 18 and no food, shelter, nothing, so I have at least some ideas of your predicament.

You are NEVER EVER stupid EVER and reading your thread, I came away with just how caring and loving you are. You are a strong young lady, I am almost 50 years your senior, and I believe in YOU.

Sending you lots of HUGE hugs, love, empathy and the knowledge that you are loved and cared about by me and so many others.

Always around if you want too pm me.

LOVE, FAITH AND HOPE TO YOU.

Walter

 

[J&L383]

@fusfurina, you have learned at far too young of age that life can be extremely unfair. I am where you are now, but at least I've had a half a century, much of it okay at least, and some very good times. But life has finally caught up to me.

You are not alone. You know what it is like to suffer. Perhaps, there may still be time to turn your life around - do try to keep an open mind about the possibilities. But you are entitled to feel all that you are feeling right now and no one can take that away from you.

 

[throneofdispair03]

I'm sorry life treated you this way. I hope you can find the peace you search for

 

[Wake]

I will just tell my story here, even i dont think anyone would care, and my english is too bad.

Im 18 yo and i dont have studies, job or anything, im very shy and dont have more than 2 friends anymore.
Im living with my mother and the money she gots from a help from the state, they put the money down so now we dont even have food to eat unless milk and cookies.
I dont have a social life, i live in my bedroom listening to music, cutting myself (making my mom even more sad) and nothing more than sleeping, i never change, everyday is hell, but i dont have the recurses to just kms, i dont have money and even when were gonna sell drugs i wont have money, i have to steal all i want, is just so sad.
I been drunk all the week, i cried a lot, i burned cigarettes on me, i cutter and punch the shit of the wall, i feel hopeless, my life is going nowhere, so I NEED to die, i need to be in peace. I thoug of jumping of the window (i live in a 4 floor put is like a 6) and just die, but i dont want to live in my try and be stupid for the rest of my life.
Im so usless, i cant do anything, not even killing myself.
Last week i remember i toke a lot of pills and drink them with the alcohol, they did me a stomatch wash and went home again.
MY LIFE IS POINTLESS, but, why it scare me to much kms? I just wanna desapear and left everyone that is just like "pls do dont do that" and know deep down they actually dont care.


Thats my story, i dont have any other, i lost my other friends bc of my sh addiction and probably lost the ones i have bc it again, but, it is what it is, i will try to look for post that can help me but i dont think nothing can kill me rn, i wish this years wherent so miserable, i wish i was diferent, smarter, prettier.
Im a shitty woman that is dumb as fuck.

If you readed all of this, thank you.

life is unfair and worst part about it is enduring. i myself reached a point where i am so fucking tired i just wanna sleep and never wake up, a couple of days ago i thought of jumping out of the balcony (i live in the 9th floor). am just too tired of being unnattractive, unlucky, unhappy and most importantly unlovable. currently am pushing my only 2 friends away and i only see myself as a faliure. the saddest part about it is that is that i'll never find anyone like me

 

[MiMif]

I will just tell my story here, even i dont think anyone would care, and my english is too bad.

Im 18 yo and i dont have studies, job or anything, im very shy and dont have more than 2 friends anymore.
Im living with my mother and the money she gots from a help from the state, they put the money down so now we dont even have food to eat unless milk and cookies.
I dont have a social life, i live in my bedroom listening to music, cutting myself (making my mom even more sad) and nothing more than sleeping, i never change, everyday is hell, but i dont have the recurses to just kms, i dont have money and even when were gonna sell drugs i wont have money, i have to steal all i want, is just so sad.
I been drunk all the week, i cried a lot, i burned cigarettes on me, i cutter and punch the shit of the wall, i feel hopeless, my life is going nowhere, so I NEED to die, i need to be in peace. I thoug of jumping of the window (i live in a 4 floor put is like a 6) and just die, but i dont want to live in my try and be stupid for the rest of my life.
Im so usless, i cant do anything, not even killing myself.
Last week i remember i toke a lot of pills and drink them with the alcohol, they did me a stomatch wash and went home again.
MY LIFE IS POINTLESS, but, why it scare me to much kms? I just wanna desapear and left everyone that is just like "pls do dont do that" and know deep down they actually dont care.


Thats my story, i dont have any other, i lost my other friends bc of my sh addiction and probably lost the ones i have bc it again, but, it is what it is, i will try to look for post that can help me but i dont think nothing can kill me rn, i wish this years wherent so miserable, i wish i was diferent, smarter, prettier.
Im a shitty woman that is dumb as fuck.

If you readed all of this, thank you.

I relate to this a lot know your not alone. I feel the burden I'm placing on my family more and more as my depression gets worse and no matter how much they beg me too I never get better and I can't get better. I need to go soon to stop bothering them and to stop this suffering.