Venting I’m tired and I don’t know what to do.

[distintivocorazon]

I'm regretting not killing myself when I had the courage. Before my mom's pregnancy, I was ready. I've been ready to CTB since I was basically concious in this fucked up world. I don't know what to do because everyone keeps telling me "you're not suicidal youre just .." then it follows with some bull shit. I'm getting put on medication & I feel like this'll be my last chance a getting better. I genuienly feel like I've cried out for help as much as I could and there's nothing more I can do. I'm tired, I don't want to do this anymore and nobody is listening.

May anyone out there, please give me advice on my situation. Therapy isn't working anymore, I need another way to speak my mind and this is the closest and if anything last thing I have that is private from my outside life.

 

[theboy]

i understand you. it happens to me that every help i get is just a waste of time because i just want to die in peace. maybe you can do better as a last chance if you seek the necessary help and you put your mind to it.

 

[druggedonsurvival]

I would say try seeing what the medication does for you. There are no guarantees but it's worth trying, especially if you feel it's a chance to get better. It definitely seems to work for some people. And anyone who tries to convince you that "you're not suicidal" obviously doesn't know what they're talking about. If you're on this forum I'd say it's pretty safe to say that you are, though ultimately no one knows better than you.

 

[Bannana]

I'm regretting not killing myself when I had the courage. Before my mom's pregnancy, I was ready. I've been ready to CTB since I was basically concious in this fucked up world. I don't know what to do because everyone keeps telling me "you're not suicidal youre just .." then it follows with some bull shit. I'm getting put on medication & I feel like this'll be my last chance a getting better. I genuienly feel like I've cried out for help as much as I could and there's nothing more I can do. I'm tired, I don't want to do this anymore and nobody is listening.

May anyone out there, please give me advice on my situation. Therapy isn't working anymore, I need another way to speak my mind and this is the closest and if anything last thing I have that is private from my outside life.

I have been in your situation before and I know how shitty things are getting
Some people just can't seem to comprehend the idea of wanting to die
Or they don''t really understand it
I don't think I've ever gone a day not wanting to die so these people confuse and infuriate me
You can't let people who don't understand you or what you are going through dictate your life
You are crying out for help in a room of people speaking a different language
I know you can get the help you deserve and do great things in this world you just need to find someone who really gets you to help you through this
Try speaking to a friend that has felt the emotions you are feeling right now
And if you don't know of anyone in your life that understands always know I am here for you and I'm willing to talk if you ever need someone to vent to
I wish you the best

 

[Rain&dark]

It sounds like you are seeking help just not finding it. That tells me you have a bit of fight to try this next option of medication.
People think this site is evil but it really is the only place to come to talk freely. What better way than that is there to offload your feelings and actually feel validating. This website is the best thing I have ever found.
Your in the right place to be heard and accepted.
How are you feeling today?

 

[distintivocorazon]

It sounds like you are seeking help just not finding it. That tells me you have a bit of fight to try this next option of medication.
People think this site is evil but it really is the only place to come to talk freely. What better way than that is there to offload your feelings and actually feel validating. This website is the best thing I have ever found.
Your in the right place to be heard and accepted.
How are you feeling today?

Honestly, I feel worse today. I am extremley tired, I'm planning my attempt as we speak. Today, my therapy session was filled with me getting my feelings invalidated and getting diagnosed with an eating disorder. I don't want any more issues on my plate, I need to go soon.

 

[Rain&dark]

Honestly, I feel worse today. I am extremley tired, I'm planning my attempt as we speak. Today, my therapy session was filled with me getting my feelings invalidated and getting diagnosed with an eating disorder. I don't want any more issues on my plate, I need to go soon.

Here for you if you want to go through anything with your preparations. You are not alone. Remember not to eat for a few hours before you CTB if doing SN x