I'm thinking tomorrow

[DoneWithIt]

I know I'm not alone in wanting to be done with life. I've been through enough personal development, therapy, and training to know it's up to the self for will to go on, belief spirit and identity.

I've had my SN for a week or so. Got it from A from the TR seller took weeks to get to the US.

Plenty of people 'fighting for me' wanting me to stick around. Nothing particularly bad happened to me for this current onset of ideation. On and off for more than 6 years now. Perhaps a slow melancholy. Tried meds, tried therapy, tried psychedelics. I don't have positive fight left.

 

[jimmy7754]

I want to leave.

 

[Of The Universe]

So you're saying "enough already." Yeah I feel that way too,but I'm not ready yet to ctb.

 

[DoneWithIt]

So you're saying "enough already." Yeah I feel that way too,but I'm not ready yet to ctb.

Glad to hear someone still has some left

I want to leave.

I hear you

 

[FuneralCry]

I also want to be done with life more than anything. I have never actually wanted to be alive in the first place. I just want non existence, I am tired of having to deal with this life. Your feelings are understandable. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[DoneWithIt]

I am 166lbs
Took my 2x4mg Ondansetron (anti emetic)
Took my 4x200mg tagamet (anti acid)
09:40
A little nervous. Pretty calm. Fasted overnight

 

[Crazy4u]

i am tired too. Unfortunately, i have unfinished business so I have to stay alive against my well

 

[whatevs]

I know I'm not alone in wanting to be done with life. I've been through enough personal development, therapy, and training to know it's up to the self for will to go on, belief spirit and identity.

I've had my SN for a week or so. Got it from A from the TR seller took weeks to get to the US.

Plenty of people 'fighting for me' wanting me to stick around. Nothing particularly bad happened to me for this current onset of ideation. On and off for more than 6 years now. Perhaps a slow melancholy. Tried meds, tried therapy, tried psychedelics. I don't have positive fight left.

What did you experience with psychedelics?

 

[DoneWithIt]

What did you experience with psychedelics?

A range of recreational experiences over several years with different substances. Almost always with a theraputic intention for myself. I think the 'best' one was discovering this part of me inside that I could just hold. Similar to writing non-dominant hand to (supposed to be) care giver. Then writing dominant hand as adult to child self. "You don't need to worry about me not being there. Because I am you"
Most recently therapeutic (remote) program.. last three sessions brought me peace with this choice. I went in with the first intention of 'show me what to heal' or why I struggle with depression. No direct answers, but the peace was nice.
10:28
Took 3tsp SN in about 50ml of water.
A bit salty a little burn in my throat

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Godspeed.

 

[myopybyproxy]

A range of recreational experiences over several years with different substances. Almost always with a theraputic intention for myself. I think the 'best' one was discovering this part of me inside that I could just hold. Similar to writing non-dominant hand to (supposed to be) care giver. Then writing dominant hand as adult to child self. "You don't need to worry about me not being there. Because I am you"
Most recently therapeutic (remote) program.. last three sessions brought me peace with this choice. I went in with the first intention of 'show me what to heal' or why I struggle with depression. No direct answers, but the peace was nice.
10:28
Took 3tsp SN in about 50ml of water.
A bit salty a little burn in my throat

3 tsp is enough grams?

If you're still with us - or anyone who's tried and experienced likewise - which psychedelic provoked/allowed the self-caring dialogue? I feel that there is some part of me that's a child that just wants to be held and comforted. Scared of psychedelics though - what if I go crazy? - but perhaps I can find a similar sense of peace as you did.

I am glad you found some peace in your conscious time, and I hope you are at peace now.